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I have been home for a little over three months.

It feels like longer.

It is a weird feeling.

I wish that I could go back in time and do things differently in Germany.

I was not allowing Christ to live in and through me the entire time, and I am sorry.

Please forgive me.

Things are different because I did not allow God the time or day to speak into my life.

As a result, I am living back at home; I am broke and seemingly without a future.

I do not know what the future hold, but I do have hope.

I have to.

Otherwise, I would die.

Being home and away from my life at school has taught me a lot.

God is still all I need.

God will never leave me.

I can ask Him anything, and He will not laugh.

I believe He will answer my prayers for rescue.

The world thinks I am insane.

Perhaps, I am.

But, I do not listen to this world anymore.

Faith.

Hope.

Love.

Grace.

Power.

Life.

He is all I need.

“Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.”- Romans 5:3-4 (NIV)

H O M E

Somethings change a lot, and some things don't change. That's a reality people have to deal with if they've been away from home for any extended amount of time. People change a lot, too.

There are some things I was hoping for when I returned home, but I've learned that they're not here or they've changed. I've been told it's for the best. Needless to say, it hurt my feelings. But, I believe it is God telling me that I don't need to forget all I learned these past five months. He's in control, and I need to lean on Him for everything.

With that said, home is great. In a weird way, it doesn't seem like I was gone for five months. My teammate, Day, says it perfectly in her blog: I'm home? Really????.Of course, names are different, but you get the idea. I have wanted to be home for longer than I care to admit, but God has opened my eyes to a world that needs Him in a most desperate way. I can't sit still and let this experience fade in the background. It comes down to telling people at home that people need the love of Jesus, and God wants us to deliver that message. Amazing, right?

I heard it put at debriefing that 'we are the messengers, not the editors'. We need to know the Word and know that it is enough. It is up to God to do the rest. All we have to do is obey. Of course, that's easier said than done. Get out there and share this love that overflows. Don't stay silent.

Thank you for your prayers and love.

I'm home!

Love,
Jennifer

Almost The End

For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:38-9 (ESV)

I'm sitting in a bagel shop with one of my teammates. We occasionally look at each other and say, "June 8th." Neither of us can believe it. Neither can the other two on this team. We have a week, and Lord willing, we will be home. We have less than a week in Dresden. It's surreal, and I am a little overwhelmed at all we still have left to do.

Day, Jessica, and I spent this previous week in Bavaria and Austria. It was amazing to see God's handiwork in a new way. Human minds and hands can certainly create some beautiful works, but nothing compares to the majesty of the imagination of our God. Castles, churches, and cities millennia old pale in comparison to the grace of Swan Lake or the mighty peaks of the Alps or the swiftness of the Danube.

Bavaria is amazing. We visited Dachau Concentration Camp. That was an experience I will never forget. Knowing that I was walking on the ground where people's lives were treated as if they were nothing more than, well, nothing was sickening and sobering. The beauty of the day seemed a perfect contrast to the death camp memorial. Ugh. Wow.

That same day, we had the chance to visit Regensburg. That's where my mom was born! She was born in an Army hospital. The town is so beautiful, and I really want to go back so I can properly explore it.

The next day, we went to the small towns of Füssen and Schwangau to visit the castles of Mad King Ludwig. Neuschwanstein (the castle the Disney castle is modeled after) is SO beautiful. The three of us hiked up to see it, and then we hiked up some more to see it from a different angle. Then, we hiked up some MORE to see it from yet a different angle. We then hiked all the way back down going a different route. It was so beautiful. Knowing that I was there, and I saw the Swan Lake is, just, WOW. We also got to see the less ostentatious but no less beautiful Hohenschwangau Castle. The mad king didn't even live in the Disney-inspired castle. He was just crazy and wanted a toy, I guess. All in all, it was a beautiful and exhausting day. Now, I can say that I hiked up the Alps. :-) The following day, we traipsed into Salzburg, Austria. This is city is breathtaking. I want to go back there to explore some more.

We stayed in a hostel in Munich (which we also explored when we could), and I am not likely to repeat that experience. Munich was a cool city. We saw the Olympic Park, BMW world, and the coolest Rathaus (city hall) ever! We had some very interesting experiences with, uh, the locals. Let's say that Germans, too much beer, and lederhosen make for unpleasant experiences. It would make you think twice about lowering the drinking age in America.

Those are some of the adventures I've had this past week. Here's a link for pictures (you can also see the slide show in the post from yesterday). I am slowly working on labels for the pics.

Bavaria and Austria

Thank you for everything you do! I can't wait to see everyone at home!! Please pray for us as all of us all over Western Europe make our ways to Paris on June 12th. Some will be leaving for home on June 15th, and others will be heading back to the field until late July or August.

Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us. Selah
Psalm 62:8

Travel!

Quickly!

Went to Bavaria and Austria this past week. Here are the pics!! Will label more soon! I'd recommend clicking on the slideshow to see the pictures better. There are a lot of pics. :-)



HOME= JUNE 15th!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I will post SOON. I PROMISE!!!

All my love,
Jennifer

Speaking Out

I am sitting here wondering what to write. Anger is making me shake a little. I've just deleted a heated post deciding that it wasn't the best thing to write.

God sets his children apart. He sets us apart to do different things for the same purpose. Though His children may be in the same place, He may call them to do different things. He may call them to different people. He will call them to do what He knows will bring Him the most glory. He knows us so well that He won't put us somewhere where we'd be useless.

Despite the feelings of uselessness I've encountered so far on this trip, I know that God is in control. I know that He knows what He is doing. I also know that I have to say no to some things and yes to others. It may not jive with what others view as right, but who are you to question God?

I am thankful for the opportunities to meet people. I am thankful that He sent us over here to minister to different types of people. He used our strengths in different places. He ripped the old us out of the picture. He is growing us and teaching us, and guess what, it looks different for all of us.

In all honesty, there are pieces of me I unwillingly left in America. Sometimes I feel like they're fading away as they're replaced with more righteous characteristics. Others, I don't want to fade. There are some pieces of myself I wish to leave in Germany and let them fade away. God's stretched me further than I thought was possible, and sometimes I felt so weak that Satan took that opportunity to jump right in and poke and prod me to new levels of annoyance and anger.

With all that said, there are things I may do or say that may go against what you see as right. Know this, God is my guide. His ways are perfect.

***17 DAYS***

A Mixed Bag

I really can't believe the end is in sight. I must admit that I never thought it would get here. Five months of God teaching you and growing you makes for a long trip.

We're starting to wrap up things over here. We're sorting through our stuff and deciding what to leave over here to make room for the stuff we've managed to accumulate throughout these months. It's not easy, and it's not fun. For those of you who know me, you know how grumpy I get when I have to pack and move. It's the story of my life. I hate saying goodbye. I hate packing even more, but that's beside the point.

We have to say goodbye to our conversation partners this week. It's weird to think that I'll never see these people again. Well, I can't say never, but it's more likely than not that I won't. I hope we (my team) made some kind of positive impact on these people's lives.

What else? We're going to Bavaria June 2-6th! We're excited!! We'll be staying in Munich and traveling to places like the Schloss Neuschwanstein (Neuschwanstein Castle. Neuschwanstein means 'new swan stone'... aka The Cinderella Castle), Dachau Concentration Camp, and Munich (of course). We're also hoping to go to Regensburg (that's where my mom was born) and some other places I can't seem to recall at this moment. There will definitely be pictures!

I have great news about our language tutor, Ingeborg. We won't be able to visit her this week, and possibly not anymore because she's been moved to a rehab center nearly an hour away. It's great and sad. She's regained some use of her right hand! The swelling has gone down. (All of this reported to us by her piano teacher 'Jim the American'.) We're going to get a small gift of thanks before we leave, and hopefully Jim will be able to get it to her. Thank you for praying for her.

Also, please pray for my dear friend Kelli. She's truly a blessing. For a while, she's been sick, and doctors can't seem to pinpoint what's going on. She recently went to the Mayo Clinic, and I'm hoping and praying that she can get some for real answers. I can only imagine how hard it's been on her, but she's been incredibly resilient. She's been a true inspiration. Anyone who has the chance to meet her has met the love of Christ.

Other requests:
Courtney, Jon, and new baby Moriah Crawford!
My mom-- about her job and she's sick.
For all the BCMer's heading out this summer to do God's work.

Thank you for all of your prayers and support. It's been my stronghold.

I love you all very much!
Jennifer

Travels and Prayer

Sorry for the lack of regular updates. I couldn't really think of anything to write, and then I realized that you may want to hear about all the traveling I've been doing.

Remember the story of Sandra? We've been keeping up with her, and we're praying for her. She came to one of our Bible studies last night, and we hope that she could take something away from that. A few weeks ago, we went to Leipzig with her. Here are the pictures from that. Leipzig.

Day, Jessica, and I went to Görlitz and Zgorzelec one weekend while Sarah was visiting a friend in Frankfurt. Görlitz and Zgorzelec are called the Twin Cities. Görlitz lies in Germany and Zgorzelec is in Poland. Here are some pictures. Görlitz and Zgorzelec

May 9th was Day's birthday! For her birthday, we went back to Berlin. It was great because we got to see some things we didn't have the chance to see before. The four of us went on our own, and it was fun to try and navigate. Here's a link to those pictures: Berlin Again

Then, we went to Hamburg for four days to visit a friend and his supervisors. It was a great city, but there was a lot of need for Jesus. Hamburg is situated on the beginning parts of the Elbe (which also runs through Dresden). Here are pictures of the great city of Hamburg.

When we got back from Hamburg, we went to Prague for a day! I think Prague is my favorite place so far. It's such a beautiful city. I really want to go back one day for more than a day. Here are the pictures. Prague: Czech it out!


The countdown to home is in the twenties. As some of you know, it's been a great but hard adventure. Please pray that these last few weeks are for the glory of God.

Also, pray for our language tutor, Ingeborg. She had a stroke last Friday. We went to see her on Sunday and on Wednesday. She's made tremendous progress, but she doesn't have the use of her right hand. She's 86 years old, but she was highly mobile. She was learning how to play the piano, and I hope that she is completely healed. She recognized us, and remembered that we were taking lessons from her, but she doesn't really remember her English.

Thank you for your continued prayers and support. See most of you soon!!

Love,
Jennifer

Paging: Jennifer Chapman

The other day I stood on my tiptoes so I could look into the mirror in our bathroom. It's become an automatic reflex just like avoiding my eyes. As I stood there wishing that the mirror was lower, I looked into my eyes, and I stared at the stranger looking back. I don't know where the person I left at home is. Sometimes, I miss her. Sometimes. I am adjusting to this new person.

Where did this person come from? She's a product of an American being rubbed raw spiritual warfare in Germany. She's a product of frustrations and anger quelled by a loving and just God who proves Himself faithful despite her nastiness. She's a product of countless tears cried in pain and of her Lord picking her up off the floor.

Being a Christian is not easy. Working for God is not easy. Giving your life, your everything, to Him is not easy. He never said it would be. Once you accept Christ, you've died to yourself and this world to become alive in Christ. Christ didn't live an easy life because His life was not of this world. His disciples didn't have it easy. Why should we? Why shouldn't we fight for the glory and honor of His name? He died for us. Die for Him.

There are countless time when I have wanted to give up and go home. But, God wouldn't let me. He gently tells me that He's not done with me yet. I know that He'll never be done with me, but I am here until June 15th, and no matter what comes my way, I have to stay. Not out of obligation, but because I want to glorify Him. Because I love Him, and He loves me.

Through all the homesickness, misery, frustrations, joy, beauty, and love, this new person in the mirror is here to stay. She may be raw, but she's healing. Slowly but surely I am getting used to her.

I know there will still be tough times ahead. I know that there will be times when I say or do something I never would have said before I came, but I have to remember that it's my flesh fighting the glorious Spirit of Christ within me. I have to remember that Christ is victorious through all of this.

God has my best interest at heart. Why? Because He loves me. Why? I don't really know, but if it glorifies Him, so be it. I don't deserve it, but I'll take it. I'll take it any day over being lost and wandering and ugly.

So, here's to you, new girl.

Untitled

I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. Gal 2:20

This is what is missing. Are we honoring or denying Christ?

Are you a Man of Christ? Where are you?

Are you a Woman of Christ? Where are you?


I don't care if this offends you. It's what I'm fighting for. It may not be pretty, and it may look like nothing right now, but God and His glory are more than worth my life.

This is what it boils down to-- this trip may be hard. I may never see anything come from it. I may look back on this time and wonder what was the purpose of all the pain and suffering and heartache? I may never understand it, but whatever God wants, I will gladly give it to Him. After all, He died for me. Should I not die for Him?

I won't settle. I won't. I won't settle for a life not worthy of God. I won't settle for a marriage that no one notices. I won't settle for a family living in the background. I won't settle for a single life of complaints. My life is not my own.

Honestly

For "everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved." How then will they call on him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching? And how are they to preach unless they are sent? As it is written, "How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!" Romans 10:13-15

I am sitting upstairs in the relative quietness of the Dietz home. Most of the troops have gone out for a walk by the river.

I was meditating on my week, and I thought you should hear this story.

This past week was completely different than any week I've had over here. We started out the week with a blessing of unlimited Internet for a total of three days. In the midst of that, we met a new conversation partner, Sandra.

We met her on Tuesday and chatted for nearly three hours. We then met up with her again at a student bar thing in the cellar of a student apartment building on Thursday. And, on Friday, she went with us to Leipzig, her hometown and a city a little west of Dresden in Saxony.

Friday was a fun day, and pictures will follow soon, but I found this a bit more important than pictures. The five of us walked around beautiful Leipzig, and I got to see a church in which Luther preached, Wagner was baptized, and Bach (yes, Bach) played the organ. Sandra pridefully showed us around her city.

The train ride back is where the real bittersweet beauty lies. It started out in a rush and panic that we would miss the train and have to wait an hour for the next one. We didn't, but we did board to a slam packed train. I was none to thrilled about having to sit on the stairs, but I knew it wouldn't be for long because there was a major stop about 20 min away. After some shifting and rearranging of people, I still ended up on the stairs. Hooray for comfort.

About 10 minutes into the ride, Sarah found me being all pitiful on the stairs and said that a seat freed up next to Sandra. I was a little sore and inwardly cranky from my stint on the stairs that I would have sat next to rude smelly German. Thankfully, I didn't have to do that.

I made my way down to the seat next to Sandra and opened my Bible and put in my ear buds. I know that was a little rude, but I was not in the mood (at that moment) to talk to anyone. Did I mention that I was slightly damp from the rain? I am not sure how much time passed, but I looked up and Sarah had gone to talk to Jessica and Day to tell them seats had freed up near us. I looked back down at my Bible, and Sandra tapped me on the shoulder.

"Do you mind if I ask what you are reading?" Honestly, I was a little stunned. I thought that even if you've never read a Bible, you'd (some yous, not all) at least know what one looked like. That may sound American or arrogant or completely naive, but it's the truth. I know that there are tons (too many) of people who have no idea what a Bible looks like, but I thought that a German might know.

She was surprised to see that I was reading the Bible like anyone would read any other book. She asked me what my favorite part was. It told her that it all is my favorite. Then, I concentrated on a few key books from which I have learned a lot-- Psalms and Proverbs and a few of Paul's letters. The beauty of it all is that Sarah jumped in the conversation when I was talking about how glorious Psalms is.

The two of us spent the remainder of the train ride talking to her about a lot of spiritual matters-- God's existence, Jesus, hope, faith, joy, the reason for living, and the list goes on. The most mind-blowing thing-- the most heart-breaking thing-- was that she had either never heard what we had to say or heard it presented in the way we presented it. She could tell there was something different about us. She could tell that we really believed what we were saying. She could see our passion, our hope, our love-- the passion, hope, and love that could only come from God.

Without question, people know where I stand in my faith. I haven't always been a good example of Christianity, but that was a different time. Since I have been here, I've shared with people about God, and they know I'm a Christian. But, I have yet to flat out share the Gospel. You may be thinking, "What!? Isn't that what you're there for?" Well, I don't really know why I am here. I am simply obeying God. Not simply, really, as nothing about this trip is simple.

When I was sharing about Jesus, the look in her eyes was heartbreaking. She was so focused on what I was saying. She was trying to drink it all in all the while battling what she's grown up with. She has never touched a Bible. She did not know what the 10 Commandments were, really. She knew of the story of Creation, but she believes in evolution. I was floored. She's never met a true Christian-- a person striving with all their might to be like Christ.

This is what I encounter all the time. There are people looking to fill the void in their lives with a range of things from drugs, alcohol, and sex to family, friends, and television. Their lives may appear together, or their lives may appear to be falling apart. They all lack the hope, peace, and purpose a person has whose knows the awesome love of Jesus Christ.

So, as you pray, please keep this mind. There are people out there who have never heard the Truth. They may have head stories in passing, but they don't know. There are some who don't see a need for Christ as they "have everything they need". Sandra is a real person. Through the power of the Holy Spirit, Sarah and I were able to present the Truth to her. We want to give her a Bible in German. (Which she was shocked to know that there is a Bible in German. She thought it was an American thing because the first Bible she saw was mine... in English.)

We were able to push her scope of thinking into the possibility that a higher being does exist. She finds the idea of Hell scary.

It's a start.

Updates!!

Have you ever started typing something, gotten really far along in it, and have your computer crash? Yeah, me too. That's how this started. I tried to save it, but my computer wouldn't let me. Then, it crashed. Needless to say, I was not pleased. It tried to make up for it when it “recovered” my document by “recovering” a non-edited paragraph I previously deleted. However, that is beside the point, but I thought you should know all of that. So, I am going to start from scratch because I love you. You can thank me by sending presents.

March 22-28
March 29-April 4
April 5- 11 (New as of 4/13)

Frohe Ostern! Happy Easter! For the glory of God, Christ died to set you free!

Love,
Jennifer

A Team, A Waterfall, and An Alpine Slide

I learned a lot this week. It was nearly information overload, and I hope I can remember most of it. All of it would be nice, but I don't think that's possible. There's a possibility that a little bit of my brain leaked out from so much information.

What was this week? It was a week long team building workshop in the middle of nowhere, Germany. It was only about an hour and a half from Dresden, but it's still the middle of nowhere. The city is Zschorlau, and it's a quaint little town in the foothills of, well, some hills.

Throughout the week, we learned about ourselves, why we react the way we do to certain situations, what our needs are as individuals and as we work in teams, and other things to that effect.

What did I learn? Well, I learned that music and literary things are great needs of mine. You may have though, well, duh. BUT! The way I tested, with 99 being the highest need for something, music and literary things were a 99 for me. I also learned that when your needs are not met in whatever situation, you go into stress mode. That would explain all the posts about worship and why I miss it so much or any e-mail that I've sent out that may have slightly led you to believe I'm insane. I know that music plays a huge role in my life, but I never realized that not having it the way I need causes me stress. A lot of things clicked this weekend personally and corporately with the team. There's really too much to explain, but if you would like to know more, just e-mail me.

While we were in Zschorlau, we found a beautiful waterfall--

We also found an Alpine Slide. You control your own speed. I went down twice. The first time was a test, so I went not as fast, but I found out that the car wouldn't fly off the track. So, I went full speed the second time. :-)

And coming down!

HOME

Conversations, Music, and SUN!

The following Monday, we met up with one of our conversation partners at an Indian restaurant in the heart of Neustadt. I knew it was there, but I didn't realize what it was. (If that makes any sense...) The food was good, and the coffee was probably some of the best I've had. Tuesday was the greatest day up to this point. Why? Three words-- Sunshine. Blue sky. That's right, folks! They exist in Germany! We never thought we'd see the day where we could walk around this grand city of ours out of the confines of a big puffy jacket, scarf, gloves, and hat. Needless to say, we all went a little picture crazy. Here's the proof:


Wednesday was the usual German lessons with our 86 year old tutor. Then, we all met Jason at the University to see if we could get a foot in at the Auslander (foreigners aka international) Student office. That was a big mess of confusion because they were helping the internationals register for classes, and we couldn't meet anyone who could help. We decided that we would try again after we returned from our team building conference (more about that in the next blog). We walked around the campus and found several places to hang up fliers advertising our English practice service. (Exciting!! We got three calls last Sunday!!!)

On Thursday, we were slated to go over to the Journeygirl's place for a Bible study with one of her friends from her language class. I don't remember if I mentioned him before, but he's from France, and he's an Atheist. He likes to discuss religion with everyone because he sees it as a learning process. We've met him once and we talked about a lot. I pray that all we said was of the Spirit and not of us. Before we went, Day and I went to Hauptstrasse (Main Street) to look around in the shops. We can see Hauptstrasse from our window. We didn't have that long to look because we had to be at the Jpurneygirl's apartment. Unfortunately, French Guy called and said he wasn't feeling well. So, it was decided that we would go to Alauanpark to do the Bible study. It was another gorgeous albeit windy day.

The following Friday was quite eventful, but it was not in the usual way. This Friday would be the second we missed going out on the street. The previous Friday was just a bad day to go out because we had walked around Neustadt in the rain, and we felt drained spiritually and physically. Our hearts were not in the right place to have gone out. However, we attended Jugend at the church. Jugend is German for youth. They have their youth nights every Friday, and this particular Friday was designated American Night.

We were asked a week prior if we could prepare something about which to speak. They wanted to know why we're here (how we got here), what we've learned, and what God has shown us through the Word. The pastor's daughter also asked us what our favorite worship songs are. She said that they know a lot of popular songs from Hillsong, Chris Tomlin, Delirious?, and the like. I asked her if they'd ever heard of Steve Fee. They have not, sadly. But, she did ask me the names of two of his songs (two of my favorites)-- "Beautiful the Blood" and "Glorious One". She said one of the guys could find the song and learn it for us. I didn't get my hopes up for those songs because I knew either way, we'd get to sing some songs we knew and sing them in English!

We got there on Friday, and the pastor's daughter, Annie, introduced us to the guy she mentioned a week ago. His name is Clemens, and he presented us with this:



He found the the videos of Steve Fee performing these songs on YouTube, and he wrote... WROTE... the music from that. All he had were the lyrics and the guitar chords. My heart was beyond touched. That evening, they learned these two songs, and we sang a lot of other songs. We had a chance to share our testimonies and played games with the youth. It was a lot of fun.

God really knows what He's doing. He is even working when your electricity goes out for two days. :-)

Stairs, BBQ, and Berlin

Where shall I start? Perhaps I'll begin with the thousands of stairs the four of us went up and down helping someone move. OK, thousands may be exaggerating a bit, but we seriously cumulatively went up and down over one thousand stairs in two days. It was a lot of fun because we were helping the lady I've talked about in previous blogs. Her ministry is the street witnessing and she has the safe house. We were helping her move from her old apartment to the safe house. Luckily, we were moving her stuff less than a block away. We certainly worked off whatever we ate from the previous two weeks.

The rest of the week was pretty uneventful. We ate dinner at the Journeygirl's place, and we prepared some gooood American food: mashed potatoes, sweet potato fries, BBQ chicken, rolls, and green bean casserole. Y.U.M.M.Y! On Friday of that week, the guy serving in Hamburg came down with his supervisor for a visit. We showed him around Dresden. He got the super abbreviated tour of Altstadt, and we drug him around Neustadt for shopping. We had already planned to do that that day, and we figured he could come along for the ride.

On Saturday, we went to Berlin!! That was amazing. Here's a slide show of the day:

Small Update

Dear Reader,

I deeply apologize for the lack of update. I promise that I am alive! There's been a lot going on, and I can't seem to find the words to explain.

Here are some things for which I need prayer:

-- Leadership/ Team Building retreat April 6-10 (http://www.herr-berge.de)
-- Wisdom
-- Rest
-- Love
-- Patience
-- The kids on the street
-- Our new conversation partners (three new ones this week!!!)
-- The young Christians in Dresden
-- My supervising family-- Jason, Cheryl, Johan, Ashlyn, Caedon, and Logan
-- Sarah, Day, and Jessica (My loves/ My team)
-- Amy, the Journeygirl here in Dresden (Same as my team and I but here for 2 year instead of 5 months)

Thanks!

All my love,
Jennifer

Call to Worship: A Backstory of Jennifer Chapman

"Therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe, for our God is a consuming fire." Heb 12:28-29 (ESV)

You get two posts this week. Don't forget to check out the latest Friday Chronicle!!

Please watch and listen to this song. Read the words and soak it in. Then continue on to read this post.


The more I listen, the more I learn. Ever since I have been here, God has been teaching me about worshiping Him. He's been showing me that it needs to be the priority of my heart. It's bringing Him glory, and from that I can obey Him. Throughout my life, worship has had many different meanings. Each building to what I know it as now. I find it amazing to see the journey.

When I was very young and in church or at church camp, worship was just singing songs I knew. I never understood why people raised their hands. In fact, I was quite embarrassed to even consider doing it. I had a warped sense of a lot of things because of what I was taught. I was never really challenged to question what I was taught until my church went through a radical change when I was about 12. Even then, I never understood worship. I started loving the songs and what they were saying, though.

I went through life like that until I graduated high school. My church was a very small Pentecostal-type church. I did not grow up Baptist (gasp! :-D). Once I left high school, I pretty much stopped going to church. It wasn't out of rebellion; I just was lazy. Naturally, worship fell off my radar. Little did I know that not worshiping would lead to an unexplainable darkness. We are not called to neglect gathering together to worship. Well, if I actually read my Bible, I would know that. I was lacking in all aspects of worship. I held fast to what people would call morals and values. I can't really explain why except that God refused to let me slip in that sense. He is my ultimate protector. I fully praise Him now for it, and I know why He did it. That's another story for another day.

I walked through life for a couple of years in a kind of technical Christian fog. I can't tell you how many times I prayed because I don't know if I did. I more than likely didn't crack open my Bible. Worship was non-existent for me. There was a point in my life that I realize through the grace of God that I needed Him to pull me out of this stupid mess I'd gotten myself in. There was no way I could survive living in the darkness that I was in.

Without warning, I was thrust into the light. Everything became clear. It hurt my eyes, but I could see. I was in a church at a retreat signing praises to God as I never had before. I craved it. I don't understand it to this day. From then, corporate worship took on a whole new meaning. I devoured all the teachings. God opened my heart to take Him in. He took something I was afraid and embarrassed of for most of my life and showed me how wonderful it is.

Since then, He's been fine tuning me. I've learned that worship is not about feeling good for me but for abandoning myself to praise Him. I've learned that bringing glory to His name is my purpose. Sometimes I sit all by myself wanting to go meet Him so that I can sing my heart to Him for all eternity, and I know that one day that will come true.

This experience in Germany has really opened my eyes to what worship is. It's private and intimate time with God, and it's an open expression of love for Him in front of others. Worship how you will, but never neglect it. Pour out to God what He has given you. Worship is all about glorifying God. When you glorify God, your heart becomes one with His, and His desires become yours. Only then can you truly obey Him. That's where answering the call comes in. When your heart is in line with God's, you will know His call upon your life. It may not be the big picture, in fact, it probably won't be.

This is where I am right now. Now you know why worship means so much to me. As long as you are truly worshiping God, it doesn't matter what it looks like. Don't hold back from praising God. If you worship in a big church with ultra-contemporary music or in a small church singing from a hymnal, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter what other people think of you or your style of worship. Just worship.

The Chronicles of Friday V: Night Watch

“Therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe, for our God is a consuming fire.” (Heb 12:28-29 ESV)

I don't really know what to write, and it's been like this for nearly two weeks. There is so much to tell; there is so much I've learned.
For a while, I've been starting off each post with a verse from the Bible. It's always one that God has shown me that week that He's used to really teach me something. For the past two weeks, I've learned more than I thought I could possibly learn, and that makes me want to just post the the entire Bible on here. That would take up a lot of room, so I won't.
I want to start off with some prayer requests. I ask you, dear reader, to consider these with your whole heart. I know that you aren't here, but I hope that the urgency of these requests can be translated to you.
As you know, part of this mission God has sent me on is to be the light in a very dark place. I feel that the light that is Jesus Christ shines the brightest when it is the darkest. That darkest is Friday nights on the streets of Neustadt walking among the hopeless and lost who are high and drunk and searching for something. They're the ones who openly deny God, and the ones I fear and agonize over who may never be saved. It's so hard to say that, and I don't even want to think it.

There is one young man (Pyro) who feels that he can solve his own problems. He feels that he doesn't need God and that God is just here to pity him. He gets angry when we bring up God, and he changes the subject. We don't know what to say to him. He looks forward to getting drunk, and he does not understand why we don't drink or why he believe in God. We thought we were making some headway when we asked if we could pray for him, and he said yes (but didn't know if it would help). That came back fruitless from his point of view. We refuse to give up on him even if that means praying from afar. Pray that God softens his heart and makes Himself completely irresistible to him.

There is one young girl (Lila) whom I have mentioned in a couple of other posts. The Gospel has been presented to her, and now it's up to her to make the choice. We want to meet with her to talk to her and answer any questions she may have, but we haven't been able to. She has so much going on in her life, and her past is full of pain. There are a lot of things obstructing her view, and we're praying for a clear path.

We've encountered a very young man (Pat-Pat) who recently turned 17. He's usually wasted by the time we meet him on the street-- around 9 PM. He is a transvestite. I haven't really had the chance to talk to him except for the first night I met him. My heart aches for him because I want so much to see him full of life and living the life that God wants for him. I want this for all of the people we meet on the street, but my hearts even more for him because he so very young.

There is hope, though. I met two people this week how gave their lives to Christ. One is a former Neo-Nazi (Marco), and the other is a young man (Benjamin) who is (was) just like Pyro or Lila. I had the honor of witnessing Benjamin give his life to Christ. It's an amazing story.

It was a Friday night. There were some folks in doing some training relating to our mission, and some of them wanted to come out on the street with us. We did our usual prayer time before we went out, but for some reason, we didn't go straight to the street. Some of us went into a Kebap shop to get some hot tea. We sat in there for a little while, and decided to make our way to the street to see if we could find any of the people we've met before. When we got out there, we didn't see anyone we had met in the previous weeks. We spotted our supervisor, and headed over to him. He was talking to a girl with pink hair. As I looked around for a familiar face, I realized that I was nervous. I can't really say why, though. I think I felt overwhelmed at all the people. There were more out than before.
The next thing I knew, Charlotte pulled Day, Jessica, and I (at that moment, I didn't realize Sarah had gone off with the Journeygirl to search for Lila) over to this guy (Benjamin) who was clinging for dear life to her. Two of the guys from training were there with us. Charlotte said, “Pray for him. He wants to be delivered from drugs and alcohol.” The five of us gathered around Charlotte and Benjamin.
I didn't know this at the time, but we were being mocked. Benjamin was being scorned by the very people he used to call his friends. I could hear nothing except our prayers. We didn't know if he spoke English (which he does), but we prayed in English for him. I've never seen anything like it. He was standing and shaking, and he dropped to his knees, raised his hands toward Heaven and begged Jesus to save him. I could not believe the miracle I was witnessing. We took him to the safehouse so we could pray and talk. At the end of it all, he thanked us for praying for him. I wanted to thank him! I do thank HIM.

Because I am here and in it all, I cannot see it from the outside. The folks who were here for training told us that we are truly witnessing something others may never see in their stay in Western Europe. Where we thought we were tilling the soil, we've discovered we're in a harvest. It doesn't look anything like what people may think a harvest should look like, but if I am over here for just one soul, that is enough. I'm doing, seeing, and saying things I never thought I would. It's Christ in me.
In other news, we had the chance to meet with another girl (Joanna) who wants to practice her English. The way she talked about her desire to learn it and to speak it as we do made my heart leap. I feel that often times we take for granted being fluent or having English as our heart language. So many people are paying so much money to learn it. Joanna told us that the way we speak is beautiful. She's the second person we've met that has told us that something about the way we speak or the way we do things is beautiful. Caroline, the girl we met before, told us that the way we refer to ourselves (as Americans) as 'we' is refreshing. She said it shows unity, and that is a thing of beauty. It's no accident that I am over here. It's no accident that the three other girls I am working with are over here.
God placed us here for a reason. He's teaching us many things and nothing has come to late or too early. We don't understand His timing, but we've realized that His timing is so much better than ours. We're a team with God leading the way.

The Chronicles of Friday IV: Conversations

“He does not ignore those who cry to him for help.” Psalm 9:12b

This week was different for us; we even had a blue sky for about 10 minutes! I want to start, though, with last Friday. I didn't get a chance to really go into detail.

On Friday, we went out on the street again. We had originally planned to just pray in the prayer room, but that never happens. Before we even got a chance to walk into the building, we saw a girl we met nearly a month before. I mentioned that experience in the first Chronicle. She remembered us from the last month, and she opened up to us more than we ever expected. She revealed some things about her past that made her lifestyle choices more understandable. We had a chance to bring up some spiritual matters with her, and she seemed a lot more open to them then before. She even allowed us to pray for and with her!

On Saturday, we went to Explosion! That's monthly meeting of a network of churches in the area. It starts with food and fellowship then goes to praying, worship, and a sermon... all in German. OK, mostly in German. People tend to speak in tongues at these things, and that makes me uncomfortable. Day, Jessica, and I left early because we didn't feel right about something. I was anxious the entire time, and I felt a sick feeling in my stomach. Sarah and the Journeygirl here stayed and witnessed a healing session.

That weekend showed us a lot about how much God loves people. Minus the Saturday night, there were several instances where people on the streets where very open and could see the light of Christ in us. We weren't without oppositions or distractions, but we have to remember that the distractions are satan and his little minions trying to pull people away from the Gospel and trying to prevent us from doing the work God so clearly wants us to do.

Now, onto this week!

We got some responses from the 'Practice English' fliers we posted last week in addition to the contacts we got from the people we've met on the street. The four of us met with a guy we met on the street. We met in a cafe near Ikea (which made me want some Swedish meatballs) and chatted. The conversation was a little strained especially when it came to spiritual matters. He wasn't very comfortable and asked to change the subject. He wants to meet with us again, but we aren't sure when we can. Please pray for him because he feels that he can solve all of his own problems. He's kind of a 'let the chips fall where they may' kind of person.

On Thursday, we had the chance to meet with a very sweet girl named Caroline. She's originally from Poland and has been in Germany for eight years. She wants to go to the US for her PhD. She was very open and very inquisitive. Jessica, Day, and I were able to answer all of her questions, and I felt this meeting was a great success. She wants to meet with us again! We also have another girl who we need to call to set up a meeting. This is all very exciting!

On Thursday evening, we met at the Journeygirl's place to have dinner and meet some of her friends. There were 12 people there, and 8 countries were represented! Isn't that so cool! The countries were: Germany, Scotland, Canada, Singapore, China, Malaysia, France, and the US. We got to talk to the guy from Scotland, and we compared the US and the UK. That was a lot of fun. We joked about how much better our spellings of words are. It was a great night.

Unfortunately, I was feeling really sick on Friday, so I could not go out. There are some interesting stories involving vomit... maybe it's best I was sick. An encouraging thing out of that was that two of the girls we've met in weeks past were more open than ever.

As you are praying, here are some very specific things for which you can pray:

-- Pray the God will glorify Himself among all the people of all the nations.

-- Pray for international students in Western countries (especially the US) to come to know Christ so they can spread the Good News back home.

-- Pray for the leaders of nations.

-- Pray the God will send laborers to the field.

-- Pray that the Church will see the world as God sees it.

-- Pray for Sarah's mom as she is dealing with some health issues. She is starting treatment after she gets back home from visiting Sarah this week. Pray that God will be glorified through all of this and that Sarah and her family will have great peace. Pray for healing for her mom.

-- Pray that Sarah's mom and Day's mom and sister have an uneventful flight over here.

On a lighter note, check out my teammate, Day's, blog for a funny story and some differences we've noticed between home and here!
Thank you for all your prayers and encouragement!

Love,

Jennifer

The God of THIS City: Dresden

"He renews my strength. He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to HIS name." Psalm 23:3

God loves Dresden. He aches with all the loves He possesses to see it turn from its evil ways and turn to Him. How can I be so sure of this? Let me tell you a story.

As most of you know, I rarely lack the words to tell a story. However, recently, I haven't really been able to put into words what's been going on here. I've been able to find little words like discouraged, useless, angry, and broken to describe how I feel, and I've haven't been able to find words to describe what God's been doing in the city. I've been focusing so much on what I've been feeling that I've been blind to the works that God is so obviously doing.

Those words I used to describe how I'm feeling are words that the enemy has been whispering into my ear so that I will believe that nothing in going on. If nothing was going on, why would satan be so adamant about making me and my team feel useless and broken? Why would he be trying to tear us apart at the seams and render us useless? Why would he be trying to slander the names of hard-working Christians in this city if God wasn't doing something here? Why would he make us focus on ourselves instead of the glory of the Father in heaven who created everything?!

Despite the fact that whenever say something is happening and the enemy attacks harder, I am going to say it: something big is going to happen here. I may never see it, but God is using me and my team right now. We are going to focus on glorifying God's name and let Him do the rest. There is nothing we can do apart from Him.

My team and our sanity and unity has been hit hard. The enemy uses every nit-picking thing to drive us apart. He'll convince us that prayer walking is useless. He'll convince us that our prayers in general are useless. He'll convince the innocent that we're worthless even with the Spirit of God living inside us. We have to recognize these attacks and pray even harder.

We've continued with street witnessing, and God has been working. We saw some of the people we saw the first time, and they seemed more open. We even got contact information for some of them because them wanted to practice English with us! We've been praying for God to send people to us so that we can start developing relationships.

Things may never fully calm down in the spiritual realm, but I know that I my God will protect me. I must pray the armor of God everyday-- several times a day. I encourage you to do the same. (Ephesians 6:10-18)

Thank you, reader, for your prayers and encouragement.

Auf Englisch, bitte.

"You can make many plans, but the Lord's purpose will prevail." Proverbs 19:21 NLT
“Don't brag about tomorrow, since you don't know what the day will bring.” Proverbs 27:1 NLT

I realized this a while back, but I really learned it this week. Jessica downloaded a sermon from her church back in Georgia, and we had the chance to listen to it. I also downloaded one of Pastor Johnny's sermons, and we listened to it as well. (The sermon on God's love from Feb/22. I highly recommend it.) Here's what I learned: I have taken for granted being able to understand a sermon and worshiping in my heart language. (Usually, your first language. I like to think of it as the language you hear and your heart skips a beat if you haven't heard it in a while.) I love going to church at Woodstock because the worship and the message have yet to do anything but drive me closer to my God. I leave that place knowing that the God I serve is all I need.

My charge to you is this: Never take for granted being able to worship God in your heart language. Since I have been over here, I have had to learn to feed myself through listening to worship music on my iPod, reading my Bible multiple times a day, and listening to sermons off of iTunes. That way, I can walk into that German Baptist Church every Sunday morning and appreciate that these people are hearing the truth. Despite the fact that I cannot understand most of what is being said, I can understand that they are worshiping the same God I am in their heart language. It takes the focus off of me and my self-pity. It's not all about me and whether or not I can understand what's going on in church. It's all about the people I see everyday who are going to hell unless I allow God make me usable for His glory.