What Working for a Divorce Attorney has Taught Me

(Before I start, I was going to write a post last week. I never got around to it because work has been pretty heavy lately. I asked friends and family to describe me in one word, and I was going to turn that into a post that was based on a writing prompt. Let me say that what I got deeply touched me. So, thank you all for your kind honesty. I don't deserve you, but I am truly BLESSED and LOVED in every sense of those words. Please know that God used you for something special.)

To be fair, my boss practices mainly domestic law. In addition to divorces, he does custody and child support cases, too. Throw in the occasional adoption, name change, and will and you've got yourself a fairly accurate description of what I do.

I enjoy the work I do as far as writing legal pleadings, learning about domestic law (I've gotten myself pretty well versed in Child Support Guidelines), and meeting a lot of new and interesting people. With that, though, comes a pretty heavy burden. Most of the people I meet are going through the worst times of their lives. Some are pleasant and others are just plain mean.

So, here are the things I've learned:

• I hate divorce more than I ever have. HATE. (Please don't get me wrong, I don't hate the people who get divorced.)


• People are rotten and will use their children to get money or to hurt the other person.


• People are more fragile than I ever imagined.


• Marriage is more fragile than I ever imagined.


• It takes a lot less to upset me than it used to.


• I've realized that, more than ever, I want to fight for marriages and families to stay together.

Despite all the negative things this job has taught me, God has been pressing me at the same time.

• Marriage is fragile, but it's worth the fight.


• People are indeed broken, but they need love, tenderness, and compassion even if they treat me like crap.


• They way people treat me (and sometimes the way I react) is how we treat God. I am thankful that He doesn't react the way I do sometimes when people yell at me.


• All the He is runs deeper than I ever realized. He reminds me of this everyday when I've had a rough day and He dazzles me with a brilliant sunset.


• He will never disappoint me.


• Though this job makes me feel alone sometimes, He reminds that I am not by showing Himself through the generous love of my amazing family and beautiful friends.


• This job makes me want to get outside of myself and live for Him alone.

I leave you with this:

So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.
Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.
Do all things without grumbling or questioning, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast to the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I may be proud that I did not run in vain or labor in vain. Even if I am to be poured out as a drink offering upon the sacrificial offering of your faith, I am glad and rejoice with you all. Likewise you also should be glad and rejoice with me.

Philippians 2:1-18 (ESV)