Monday, December 8, 2008

An attempt

*** I have the feeling something huge is about to happen. I can't explain it; I just know it. Please pray that I remain hopeful, faithful, and patient as I wait. ***

For me, the worst thing that could happen is writer's block. Well, in reference to writing-- not just in general. I usually get some kind of block when I am writing a paper, but I usually just get it for a short time. It usually comes when I am trying to write that last page of a 10 page paper. It's pretty much fluff after page 5, but if I extend it to 10 pages, it's crap. Thus, my dilemma. It usually works itself out in the end. However, whenever I post to my blog, I can find my words, hone in on a topic or two and go. Not since my birthday have I been able to write. That's why you're getting this. I've tried several times to write something only to get completely disgusted or discouraged and just x-out the screen. I don't even try to save it to improve on it. I have found it easy for the past while to write about what God has been doing in my life or what's going on around me or what I am feeling as I get ready for my trip to Germany. So much has happened even since my birthday that I want to tell everyone but I am at a loss for words. It's just a matter of writing and writing and not caring what it looks like.

Have you ever had a birthday wish come true? I mean like make-a-wish-blow-out-the-candles wish? Maybe in the context of God, wish isn't the best word to use, but I had a birthday wish like that. A better translation may be hope, but I'm not ashamed to admit that I may have wished upon two stars, too. (Well, I found out that they were Venus and Jupiter. Does that mean it really really counts or really really doesn't?) Let me say that this wish/ hope expounds upon a promise God revealed to me. It was one of those wishes that I knew would come true eventually, but I wanted it right now. Wrapped and put under my Christmas tree.

Well, I can say that without a doubt, my God is faithful. He knows when the time is right, and I truly believe his eyes light up when he proves his faithfulness to his children. I mean, dang. This was more than I could have ever wished for. The greatest thing is is that it's just the beginning. My heart almost didn't know what to do. It thinks it knows now, and I really have to check myself so that I don't get anxious. I know his timing is perfect and mine sucks. Oh! Check out this great verse. It's one that I've always known about, and it's pretty mainstream, I guess.

Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4 (TNIV)

Even though if you were to hear what my wish was, you'd say I was silly. I'd have to disagree. You see, God promised me something. Through that promise, I have learned to rely on him. That promise helped me realize how to hope again. So, I hoped for it. I knew that God would be faithful and provide it for me one day. I knew that it would be so over the top amazing that I would fall head over heels more in love with Him. God has stolen my heart, and he likes to show me ways he takes delight in me. It baffles me, but he really really loves me.

Thank you God for knowing me better than I know myself. Thank you for my gift-wrapped surprise! Thank you for it all.

Posted via web from jennifer's posterous

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