A God Sized God

Four hours of intensely studying God and who He is will make your brain mushy trying to comprehend what little our finite minds can fathom. Let me tell you, it's close to nothing, but you can know Him. 

I love that God is incomprehensible yet knowable. He is three persons in one essence. He is great beyond all measure, and He is good beyond all measure. I cannot help but tremble at how great He is, yet He chose to love me because He is good. I really have no meaning on this earth, except that God is I AM. 

God doesn't need me. The good thing is is that He loves me and he uses me somehow in His great plan. It's all to glorify Him. 

Pride/ Ego deflater: God DOES NOT need me for anything. He's the center of His will. He is infinite and perfect and just and good and love. He doesn't need me to worship Him. He is complete. He doesn't need me to fix Him. He is secure. But, because He loves me, I'm here. 

What I learned about God's greatness changes things. I will never give him flabby worship again. But His greatness and how awesomely, well, frightening it is coexists with His goodness. His goodness is why He doesn't crush us like He could. 

I'll admit that I entertained thoughts last night/ the morning/ now that I am completely useless. I'm not sure that I'll completely shake that feeling. However, I'm sure the nature of the uselessness will change. I don't know if that makes any sense. Last night, I felt useless in the sense that I felt like I had no reason for actually being here. I was a pretty dark moment. Then, I began to realize that His greatness is something to fear. But, like I said before, His goodness gives us a meaning. But, it's not about me. It's about Him. 

I talked myself in and out of circles and spirals last night. God is my Lord, healer, protector, banner, strength, and reason to live. He loves me beyond all reason so that I may glorify Him. I'm not useless, but I am.