::greater things::

Taking a Break

2011-03-31T06:58:00.001-04:00

***All posts from February 23, 2010 until this post were first published on wordpress. I'm moving back to blogspot, but at this address. THANKS!!***

Dear Reader,

I am going on a hiatus. I need to refocus several things-- life, work, this blog, whatever.

This blog has not gone in the direction I wanted it to, and I am going to spend a great deal of time reworking it. I will probably move all of my old posts to my old blogger account and start anew. Thank you for your continued readership. In the future, I hope to be a better steward of this love for writing.

I don't know how long this will take, so until then, please check out these other fantastic bloggers:

Ladies:
Leslie Ludy (Set Apart Girl-- a great resources for purity)
Joy Eggerichs (Love and Respect NOW. Ask questions. Think and long for God. Laugh.)
Sherideth Smith (A Woman's Guide to Women: A Blog for Men -- but also for ladies)
Amanda Bast (Consider the dandelion.)

Gentlemen:
Stuff Christians Like
Ragamuffin Soul
Tyler Tarver
Tyler Stanton
Brian Allain

Living on Mission

2011-03-08T04:48:00.000-05:00

Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Matthew 28:18-20

"But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth." Acts 1:8

These are verses that a lot of people use relating to mission trips. Rightly so, Jesus did tell us to go and make disciples of all nations (to the ends of the earth). For the longest time, I thought that was all I had to do. I was good with God if I did that. No matter that the community I lived in was living in darkness, there we people across the ocean who needed saving. And, I was going to do it!

Overseas missions are important. Necessary. If God calls you, GO! However, God did not call us to wait on His call and do nothing in the meantime.

I'm not going to pretend to be an expert on Biblical languages, but I did hear one such person state that the 'go' in the Matthew passage above translates as 'as you go'. As you go about your everyday routine. As you work. As you shop for groceries. As you play soccer. As you live. As you ____, make disciples. We can do this because Jesus has all authority in heaven and earth, and he commands us to make disciples. Thankfully, he will always be with us as we go.

The verse from Acts ties into the 'as you go'. Jesus told them to first make disciples where they were-- Jerusalem. Making disciples radiates from where you are-- not where you want to be. Not where you dream to be. Where.You.Are.

Christians have a high calling on their (our) lives. We're not any better than anyone else, but we are saved from God's wrath to His love by His Son Jesus. So, why not show and tell the world (your community) what He's done for you?

What does 'as you go' look like for you?

About You

2011-02-28T06:00:00.001-05:00

I want to know who you are.

Age and gender

Where you live (or there 'bouts)

The furthest place you've traveled from your humble abode

Dream destination

Go.

9 things I'd do if I had $1,000,000

2011-02-28T06:00:00.000-05:00

I think about this a lot. Probably more than I should. Don't judge me. I'm sure the thought has run through your pretty little head about what you'd do if you won the lottery.

[caption id="attachment_607" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="What would you do with a million?"][/caption]

Here's a run down of the things I'd do if I had/ won a million dollars.

I'd give more than 10% away to start. 10% to my church and some more to my beloved campus ministries at Kennesaw State.

I'd pay off all my mom's, dad's, and my debts.

Put some in the bank.

I would quit my job, go back to school, and finish.

Buy plane tickets to Kelowna, Dresden and New Zealand.

After I finish school and go traveling the world, I'd hook up with a missionary organization and do that for the rest of my life. (I'm not saying I'm putting THE mission on hold. There's plenty of mission opportunity at home and the other place I want to go.)

Work on completing my 30 before 30 list. I've determined that winning the lottery may be the only way to do it before I'm 30. Of course, God is bigger than the lottery or my piddly little plans. :-)

Give money to my family and any of their ministries.

If there is any money left, I'd put some more in the bank. I'll probably have to pay taxes on this imaginary money. I guess. I might give it away.

What would you do with a million dollars (or the equivalent in other world currency)?

Sweet dreams?

2011-02-23T10:58:00.000-05:00

I've been having weird dreams lately. I don't know if it's what I've been eating and watching on TV throughout the day or if it's something else.

My dreams have been anything from ridiculous to so real that I woke up feeling brokenhearted.

A prayer request and some links

2011-02-03T08:47:00.000-05:00

So, I fail. Again. Sorry. I really am.

I've been really tired lately. It may not sound like a good excuse, but I haven't really had the energy (physically or mentally) to even consider a post. I think about you everyday and how I need to update this blog.

What's been going on? Just work. I don't know what's been going on with being tired. It's not just tired, but I can't concentrate very well, and I forget things. I lose my train of though with no warning. The other day, I called my cousin for something, and while the phone was ringing, I completely forgot why I was calling. Thankfully, she didn't answer. I still can't remember why I called her.

It worries me a little because it could be a variety of things both physical and mental. I would greatly appreciate some prayers. I don't have insurance, so I can't afford a doctor or the tests I may need. This all gives me a chance to forget about what the world can do to fix me and see what God has in mind.

In other, less depressing news, I have some cool news. I'm not going to tell you until the beginning of April. Mu-wahaha! When I tell you, you'll see why I'm waiting. ;-) Unless circumstances change, it will be April. It could be sooner, but it won't be later than the beginning of April. Wow. How many times can I write April in a paragraph? April.

While I am cooking up some blog posts, check out these great links (hover over each link for a brief description):

If It Were My Home

God working through an iPhone while you're at it Carlos Whittaker: Ragamuffin Soul

tylerstanton.com and trippcrosby.com - because THEY'RE hilarious

Don't forget to check out the links on the right!

Not a coincidence

2011-01-10T12:15:00.000-05:00

God is not a God of coincidence. Everything that happens, whether it's the flap of a bird's wing, the falling of snowflakes, or the tears of sadness, does not happen apart from God's command.

This weekend, I had the great opportunity to attend a short conference/retreat. The sole focus was prayer. There weren't many people there, and that was the intention. My hope is that those who did attend will take back what they learned to their campuses. I do wish, however, that there was a bigger representation of Georgia BCMs.

ABCDEFGH- INFP

2011-01-02T05:08:00.000-05:00

One test. 16 outcomes. 6.something billion people. Well, that can't be right. Surely God created more than 16 different personalities. Heck, some people have 16 personalities all to themselves.

What am I talking about? Well, the Myers-Briggs Test, of course. You take a test. If you're honest with yourself and don't try to cheat the test, you get four letters assigned to you. Not just any four letters, mind you. You get one from each E/I, S/N, T/F, and J/P. Each letter holds its own meaning, and when you group them together, you get a whole range of possibilities.

There are tons of tests with tons of outcomes ranging from assigned letters, colors, and even animals. While they are all limited, personality tests as a whole show the limitless nature of God. It's beautiful and at the same time sad. It's sad because people trying to typecast other people is the same way we try to typecast God.

Though we are finite and He is not, we are images of God. We are but shadows, but we have far more to us than the boxes people put us in. I'm not giving people the credit for our minds, creativity, and the like. That's all God. I wonder if we stop trying to stamp others with a four letter zip code and open our minds to the ranges and scales within those letters (or colors, etc) then maybe we'll begin to see a little of the wonder that is God.

I like the Myers-Briggs test. I am quite fond of it, actually. I like my four letters. I used to feel restricted or limited because of them. If you take a full-blown MB test, you'll realize that it is quite extensive. It's still limited, but it allows for the range of a person's personality to shine.

Very rarely does someone's personality actually change. People rarely go from being truly introverted to extroverted or vice versa. It usually takes a tragedy or being involved in some truly life altering event to change a personality. (I know that God can change a person, but I'll get to that.)

I think that if you're introverted; you're introverted. There's nothing to be ashamed of or angry at. It doesn't mean that you're shy (though introverts are the shy ones if there are shy folk around). It doesn't mean that you hate being around people. It doesn't mean that you freak out when public speaking. It means that you get your energy from being alone. I'm an introvert. I love people. I love being around people and speaking to and in front of people. However, too many people for too long makes me tired. I need alone time every now and again to regroup.

God wires us all differently and for His purpose. He gives us strengths and weaknesses. Before I was saved, I believe that the core of my personality was the same as it now. There are things that were changed within me like how I react to people or situations. I'm still a big daydreamer, but the things I dream about are (mostly) different. Before God saved me, I dreamed of all the wonderful places I could go. I still do that, but I usually have an underlying desire to teach people about Him.

I'm still introverted, but I am not as selfish with my time as I once was. Sure, it makes me tired, but I know that Jesus is my resting place.

You may disagree with me, and that is perfectly fine. I do hope we all agree that people cannot strictly be defined by one set of letters, colors, or animals. Like the vast nebulas in the reaches of the universe, so are the possibilities of personalities God creates for His good use.

2010 in review

2011-01-02T04:35:00.000-05:00

The stats helper monkeys at WordPress.com mulled over how this blog did in 2010, and here's a high level summary of its overall blog health:

The Blog-Health-o-Meter™ reads Fresher than ever.

Crunchy numbers

The Leaning Tower of Pisa has 296 steps to reach the top. This blog was viewed about 1,100 times in 2010. If those were steps, it would have climbed the Leaning Tower of Pisa 4 times

In 2010, there were 50 new posts, growing the total archive of this blog to 118 posts. There were 58 pictures uploaded, taking up a total of 12mb. That's about 1 pictures per week.

The busiest day of the year was May 19th with 44 views. The most popular post that day was Hard.

Where did they come from?

The top referring sites in 2010 were facebook.com, stuffchristianslike.net, iamthisday.blogspot.com, digg.com, and thomasnelson.com.

Some visitors came searching, mostly for purple bath robe, ignoring intuition, jennifer chapman blog, dresden bombing before and after, and dresden 1945.

Attractions in 2010

These are the posts and pages that got the most views in 2010.

Hard May 2010
1 comment

An Introspective Look April 2010

Bonhoeffer: A Review November 2010
1 comment

30 before 30 December 2010

Things I Learned from the Braves October 2010

What Working for a Divorce Attorney has Taught Me

2010-12-22T06:43:00.000-05:00

(Before I start, I was going to write a post last week. I never got around to it because work has been pretty heavy lately. I asked friends and family to describe me in one word, and I was going to turn that into a post that was based on a writing prompt. Let me say that what I got deeply touched me. So, thank you all for your kind honesty. I don't deserve you, but I am truly BLESSED and LOVED in every sense of those words. Please know that God used you for something special.)

To be fair, my boss practices mainly domestic law. In addition to divorces, he does custody and child support cases, too. Throw in the occasional adoption, name change, and will and you've got yourself a fairly accurate description of what I do.

I enjoy the work I do as far as writing legal pleadings, learning about domestic law (I've gotten myself pretty well versed in Child Support Guidelines), and meeting a lot of new and interesting people. With that, though, comes a pretty heavy burden. Most of the people I meet are going through the worst times of their lives. Some are pleasant and others are just plain mean.

So, here are the things I've learned:

I hate divorce more than I ever have. HATE. (Please don't get me wrong, I don't hate the people who get divorced.)

People are rotten and will use their children to get money or to hurt the other person.

People are more fragile than I ever imagined.

Marriage is more fragile than I ever imagined.

It takes a lot less to upset me than it used to.

I've realized that, more than ever, I want to fight for marriages and families to stay together.

Despite all the negative things this job has taught me, God has been pressing me at the same time.

Marriage is fragile, but it's worth the fight.

People are indeed broken, but they need love, tenderness, and compassion even if they treat me like crap.

They way people treat me (and sometimes the way I react) is how we treat God. I am thankful that He doesn't react the way I do sometimes when people yell at me.

All the He is runs deeper than I ever realized. He reminds me of this everyday when I've had a rough day and He dazzles me with a brilliant sunset.

He will never disappoint me.

Though this job makes me feel alone sometimes, He reminds that I am not by showing Himself through the generous love of my amazing family and beautiful friends.

This job makes me want to get outside of myself and live for Him alone.

I leave you with this:

So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.
Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.
Do all things without grumbling or questioning, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast to the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I may be proud that I did not run in vain or labor in vain. Even if I am to be poured out as a drink offering upon the sacrificial offering of your faith, I am glad and rejoice with you all. Likewise you also should be glad and rejoice with me.

Philippians 2:1-18 (ESV)

2010-12-18T16:52:00.000-05:00

I know this is late. Work's been a beast, and I didn't really have any time to sit and think. I tried several times throughout the week to do the Writing Prompt from Mama Kat.

She asked us to pick 5 words to describe ourselves. Then, we were to choose one and write a poem.

Well, I can tell you that you don't want to read any attempt at a poem that comes from me. After nearly a week of trying to pound out a post, here I am.

Instead of picking the words myself, I asked friends and family to do my dirty work. I don't know what I was expecting. I think I was going to choose my favorite and write another post based on a single word. After I thought about it, I realized that the last time I did that, things got kind of dark and depressing.

I tried to bring in hope, but I'm not sure if it worked.

30 before 30

2010-12-18T14:40:00.000-05:00

Jon Acuff of Stuff Christians Like inspired me to do this. I just turned 26, and there are some things I'd like to do before I'm 30.

That gives me four years.

What about you? 20 before 20? 25 before 25? 50 before 50?

One word (w/ Addendum)

2010-12-09T10:01:00.000-05:00

(Originally published on December 6, 2010. Please see the bottom for an addendum that was inspired by my two commenters. Thank you, ladies!)

For the Writing Workshop this week, Mama Kat asked us to write a post inspired by one of these words: simple, angsty (not really a word, but I like it), excruciating, enchanted, and bold.

I had trouble picking one, and I thought about writing a bit for a couple of the words. Then, I stepped outside and felt how excruciatingly cold it was. There came my inspiration to write on this one word: Excruciating.

ex·cru·ci·at·ing/ikˈskro͞oSHēˌātiNG/Adjective

1. Intensely painful.
2. Mentally agonizing; very embarrassing, awkward, or tedious.

3. informal irritating; trying
4. jocular (or given to, characterized by, intended for, or suited to joking or jesting; waggish; facetious) very bad: an excruciating pun

Word Origin & History

excruciate
1560s, from L. excruciatus , pp. of excruciare "to torture, torment," from ex- "out, thoroughly" + cruciare "cause pain or anguish to," lit. "crucify," from crux (gen. crucis ) "cross." Related: Excruciating ; excruciatingly.

(reference.dictionary.com)

Our word excruciating is directly related to the Roman torture device of the cross-- the same cross upon which Christ was crucified. (And it's where JK Rowling got the Cruciatus Curse.)

Many things in this life are excruciating. The cold snap in the Southeast. That joke your dad just told. That broken bone. That broken heart. That hunger. That ache to do more. That ache for something you don't have but want or even need.

Some things are even so wonderful that the resulting feeling is excruciatingly wonderful. I hear true romantic love is like that. Love for friends. Love for family.

I have a list of things that cause that excruciating twang I physically feel in my heart.

How much I miss my friends who are in another country, another state, or even a city or two away.

How much I dislike being single during the holidays.

How much I love my family and want more for them.

The thing that causes the most excruciating pain is God's love for us manifest in Jesus Christ. I've got the total depravity thing down. I know I'm a mess. I know I'm not beautiful. I know my heart is black and filthy. I know that without Christ I'd be going to Hell. I know that without Christ, I'd have no hope; I wouldn't be beautiful to God; I wouldn't have a reason to take my next breath; I wouldn't be clean, pure, and perfect before God.

The thing that hurts the most is knowing that I keep messing up, and He keeps loving me. He keeps disciplining me to correct me, or He just outright blesses me to prove His glory. He keeps blessing me in ways that I can't contain and that must spill out on others. It hurts because I know of all this, but I don't know what to do with it or about it.

I pray that God show me His love more and more so that I can love others more and more.

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God. And this is the judgment: the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their works were evil. For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed. But whoever does what is true comes to the light, so that it may be clearly seen that his works have been carried out in God.” John 3:16-21 ESV

***Addendum December 09, 2010:

I have to laugh at myself a little. Perhaps I should have chosen Angsty for my word. I do thank you very much for your comments and helping me see how incredibly hard on myself I am. While all those things I listed above are true of the human condition, we have a Redeemer who cleanses us and makes us white as snow. What kind of freedom is it really if we're trapped in our own heads feeling sorry for ourselves? We do need to remember that we are imperfect humans, but there is peace, joy, love, silliness, and fun to be had in this life while we await that one Day.

So, here's to love, light, life, and joy.

Under the Overpass by Mike Yankoski

2010-12-09T05:52:00.000-05:00

Mike and Sam, two young men, take a break from comfort and familiarity of upper-middle class collegiate life to live lives on the streets of big American cities. Why? Conviction from God, the state of the American Church and how we don't care for the unwanted like we should, and to grow in the Lord by giving up what they know to depend on Him. I would like to warn you that you should not read this book if your desire is to simply read a book about like on the streets.

Mike and Sam start out in rescue missions in Denver, CO as a transition to street life. They quickly learn the magnitude of their decision, but they do not give up. Instead they trust God all the way (for five months) for provision. They did not do this for show or attention. Rather, their desire was to know God deeper. This played itself out on the hard streets of America.

I had a hard time both putting the book down and reading it. It was such an interesting mix of emotions and reactions. They had me crying and laughing all at once. They raised questions in me that I knew I had to tackle, and that's why I wouldn't recommend this to a casual reader. Honestly, the purpose of the book would be wasted on you.

Topics that aren't covered in the book, are covered on their website or in the Q&A at the end of the book. Mike wrapped things up and answered questions I had while I was reading.

I would wholeheartedly recommend this book to anyone who wants their sense of comfort, of faith, of life challenged. I wouldn't recommend this book if you aren't willing to consider stepping outside of comfort (not necessarily choosing homelessness) and putting your faith into action. In fact, Mike states that doing what he and Sam did isn't the best way to reach and help those who are unwanted. It's asking yourself what you would do for God in your everyday life if you weren't concerned about what you were going to wear, what you were going to eat, or where you were going to sleep.

Yes. Read this book and be challenged. Be changed. Grow in God and see the unwanted as images of the Almighty King.

I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review.

Here's to 26 (and a lot) more!

2010-12-02T09:30:00.000-05:00

Today marks the 26th anniversary of my birth. According to my mom, dad, and sister, I am old. I love my family. I really do!

Being 26 is weird. I am closer to 30 than I am 20. In all actuality, I have already lived for 26 years. I am working on number 27. Yay. I am thankful for another year-- for another day, even. I'm not going to reminisce or anything like that. You can read my blog. You're welcome.

Today, I want to talk about long and short-term goals I have.

In no particular order:

Finish my degree. I never thought I'd be where I am today-- 26 and no degree. I have a lot of credits and nothing to show for it. I've not really enjoyed the schooling part of college so far, so I hope to find what I love and go for it. My inspirations for finishing my degree despite my "advanced" age are my parents, Aunt Susan, cousin Cindy, Laura Smith (Day's mom), and the husband and kids I may have one day.

Get out of debt. I'll need a lot of help and support for this one. A sub-goal for this one is to no longer feel worthless for having the debt. I've made mistakes, and I've learned from them. I am still learning and unlearning habits, and I really want to feel like someone could love me despite the fact that I was an idiot when I was younger.

Lose weight. I know that a lot of people have this goal, and it's nothing special. I figured that I need to make it public that I've always struggled with how I look. I've always thought I was fat even though I really wasn't in high school. Hindsight. My parents got me a Wii and Wii Fit for my birthday/ Christmas, and we're going to have some fun while doing exercise.

Complete a triathlon. Say what? Yeah. I've never done anything like that before, and a friend from church wants to do. We'll see how this goes. (Number 3 and 4 are directly related.)

Get this blog revamped and reorganized. I want to refocus the content and have more consistency. I love to write, and I can write best about what I know. That's me. I know that sounds incredibly selfish, but just wait for it. I want to be more open, honest, funny, and just plain real than ever before. I want to tackle issues like being single longer than I realized I wanted to be, having doubt, lack of motivation, how we get ourselves into trouble, etc. It will take a bit to re-work, but I think you'll like it. I'll only write about things I know or have researched. I don't like the uncertainty of posting something with the fear that I may have said something that was wrong. I'm not saying everything I write will be perfect. It will at least be well thought out and as true as I can tell it.

Finish reading the Bible cover to cover. The prophets are daunting to me. I don't know why. I've read through Leviticus, so why not the prophets...?

Learn sign language. This has always been a passion of mine. By always, I mean always. I can't remember a time when I've not thought about wanting to learn sign language. Along with schools of technology, I considered going to a university in DC that is for the deaf and HOH (and hearing folk, too). I wanted to be a psychologist that was able to take deaf and HOH clients. (Ask my mom for a funny story relating to sign language.)

I hope that in pushing toward these goals, I press into God to find the motivations that are pure. I've gone in circles long enough, and I want to be a better witness for God than what I am. I'm tired of doing nothing for the Kingdom.

Are you with me?

Inspiration

2010-12-01T18:00:00.000-05:00

Mama Kat's questions is: What inspires you to write?

In order:

Life

I know that God is life. I write because of God. He gives me the joy and the inspiration to write. I wish I could do it better. I write about life-- my life, mostly. It's what I know, and I hope that it inspires people. One day, I will reorganize my blog. God and Life will be the only two parent categories, and there will be sub-categories and tags and not half a dozen or so parent categories.

Though my inspirations are God and life, I write for you. One day, this blog will be better. It will serve you more.

So, for now, there's a slight disorganization, but I hope it serves as inspiration for you.

Why I'm a Georgia Tech fan

2010-11-29T09:26:00.000-05:00

Before you click away and vow to never read my blog again, please hear me out.

[caption id="" align="alignleft" width="272" caption="hoopniks.com"][/caption]

Some people think I am a Tech fan because my dad is a Georgia fan. In my family, with a lot of a my friends, and at church, it would a heck of a lot easier to be a die-hard Georgia fan.

Some people would call me a fake Tech fan. Why? I don't absolutely despise Georgia... unless they're playing Tech. I enjoy SEC football a little more than some ACC match-ups. Don't get me wrong; there are some ACC match-ups that do rival SEC. I'm also not saying that SEC is the end-all of college football. Have you seen the way the SEC East is playing this year?

Anyhoo. Back to the point of the post.

I am a Tech fan because Georgia Tech was in the running for colleges when I was a junior and senior in high school. I wanted to be an engineer. That's right, folks. I love math and mathy sciences like Physics. As dorky as it seems, they excite and fascinate me, and I hate that I didn't push harder when I was a senior when they refused to put me in AP Calculus. (As it turns out, I took two other awesome math classes my senior year. See, nerd.) Another top contender was the Coast Guard Academy.

You people don't really know or understand how much I hated my English classes in high school. There was one I loved-- 11th grade Mr. DeLeslie. He taught on another level. There are two or three people from high school you can ask whom can vouch for the day I said, "I will never NEVER be an English major in college. Never. Ever." That was uttered around AP English test time. I still shudder... ew.

So there you have it. I am a math nerd stuck in an English major's body. Don't get me wrong, though. I love writing, editing, grammar, and I laugh at lit jokes that only English (and English Ed) majors get. I liken grammar to word math. I like formulas which is funny because my life looks nothing like I worked it out to be.

Maybe that's why things are so crazy in my life-- or in yours (not because of me, but because of...) pushing against what you're made to do so you can do something that everyone else thinks is best. I gave into a weird kind of pressure when I became an English major. I did it because it was what I thought people would think would be best for me-- a general degree. When I went specific when I was a psych major, I freaked out because I thought there'd be nothing for me.

Even though I've only officially changed my major once, there was a running joke for some reason with some people in my family that I can't decide on a major so I change it all the time. While it is true that I can't seem to land on one thing, something else is becoming more and more clear. It's a verse that is used a lot and misused as a result:

Delight yourself in the LORD,
and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4

For years, I was delighting myself in myself and in what others thought. I know that playing the what-if game is dangerous. I know that what-if's are stupid because if it was supposed to happen, it would have happened, but humor me. What-if, instead of pushing hard against math and science, I went to Georgia Tech or Southern Poly? What-if I became an engineer (probably civil or mechanical or something where I could take things apart to figure out how they work) and was *gasp* happy? Joyful, even? What-if I realized that I could reach a ton of people with this joy and started building things for people who didn't have anyone to build for them?

I'm no idiot. I realize that joy does not come from circumstances; it comes from the Lord. But what if math and science are those desires answered? Or something technically minded. Some subject I can study that has a rhythm and a pattern or that requires me to use a part of my brain that isn't all Englishy.

What if I hadn't delighted in myself? What if I had delighted in Him?

What if?

Delight yourself in the LORD,
and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4

No regrets.

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Romans 8:1

That, my friends, is why I am a Tech fan.

Spotlight: Jasmere.com

2010-11-17T04:59:00.000-05:00

I can't remember how I heard about Jasmere.com. It's a gem of a site. The owners Katrina and Jeremy work with up and coming businesses that offer great products and services. I don't know how they do it, but they're able to offer deep discounts (50%-70%).

Through Jasmere, you purchase a voucher for the company. (Ex. The company offers a $50 voucher for their products or services. As more people buy the voucher, the more the price goes down. You commit to buying the voucher. Say you clicked on, and the voucher was at $25. You know that is the MOST you will pay. At the end of the day, the price of the voucher could be $18! Whatever the price is at the end of the day, that's what everyone pays.)

I would recommend checking them out for more info. BUT WAIT! Please sign up using my referral link: http://www.jasmere.com/r/77778f3f?l

Happy Shopping!

For the Love of Coffee

2010-11-16T11:51:00.000-05:00

The Mama Kat Writing Workshop prompt o' the week:

List 10 reasons why you do or not drink coffee.

For those of you who have known me for any length of time know that I enjoy a good cup of coffee. So, here are ten reasons I drink coffee:

I am slightly addicted. For real, man. Headache and sleepy without a small cup in the AM.

I like how a fresh cup of coffee (that is brewed correctly) is like a hug on cold days.

It's versatile: iced, hot, blended, Irish, with chocolate, etc.

It has its own house in which lots of people gather for good conversation.

It smells really good.

It's great with dessert or as dessert.

It's great with breakfast... or as breakfast if you're in a pinch.

It's cousin espresso is wild and crazy!

You can make cool designs on the foam of a café au lait.

Coffee is internationally known and sounds the same in a lot of languages.

However, I can fully understand why people don't drink coffee. So, I made a list for you, too.

It's bitter.

It's supremely awful when it's cold.

It makes me jittery.

That's all I have. Why do you like coffee? Why do you despise it?

Bonhoeffer: A Review

2010-11-15T07:09:00.000-05:00

I think the quote that hit me in gut the most was:

[Just before the execution] "I saw Pastor Bonhoeffer kneeling on the floor, praying fervently to God...so certain that God heard his prayer...I have hardly ever seen a man die so entirely submissive to the will of God."

This book reads like you’re talking to a friend. It seems nothing is left is out, and you close the pages of this book a good friend of Bonhoeffer. You see letters, interviews with friends and family, pulling from previous biographies and Bonhoeffer’s works.

I would not recommend this book to a person looking for the feel good story of the year. It does not offer a picture of what Westernized Christianity offers (cheap grace). Bonhoeffer lived a live of costly grace, and he suffered well until his very last breath.

Hard questions are asked with answers we may only get answered in heaven. Bonhoeffer stood for Truth and paid the ultimate price. He was not about to live a life of legalist rules, but a life of humility and devout worship of Christ that lead him to (one of those hard questions) a plot to assassinate Hitler. To pull from a follower reviewer:

“How Christianity and assassination plots can be reconciled is hard for many to fathom--especially those who have lived only in peace and safety. We must consider Bonhoeffer in the context of his life, his country, and the war that he had no choice but to be a part of. Ethics, once so clear, become unclear. Do we lie to the Nazis, or do we give them information that leads to the deaths of innocents? Do we obey our nation's laws, or do we defy them by leading Jews into safety? Do we fight in Hitler's army, or do we refuse, knowing that we will be beheaded and leave our family destitute? These are some of the questions Bonhoeffer faced.” (John A. Bird)

Metaxas artfully places us in cahoots with Bonhoeffer as we learn to sympathize with his cause and feel the rush of his illegal studies and the joys experienced with his close-knit family. We see a human so broken yet he doesn’t let that brokenness undo him when it comes to Christ.

Metaxas's "Bonhoeffer" is one of the best books I’ve read. Trust me on this one; you won’t regret reading it. We see true Gospel living amidst a seemingly hopeless world. Through Metaxas, Bonhoeffer’s life gives us hope of a better world one day. Nothing is sugar coated; can certainly see ourselves in the life of Bonhoeffer. Or at least we can hope for just an ounce of the courage he had. In the end, you’ll close the book with a renewed sense of what it means to be a Christian. Aside from the Bible, I hope this book wrecks your world view and changes more than just your life.

More on the author: http://www.ericmetaxas.com/

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze.com <http://BookSneeze.com> book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 http://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/waisidx_03/16cfr255_03.html> : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Ignoring Intuition

2010-11-08T17:47:00.000-05:00

I don't know the exact quote. There may not be one; there may be many. The gist of it all is that a woman's intuition is something to behold and not to be ignored. It's no wives' tale about a woman's intuition. It's a gift given to us by God. Where am I going with all of this? Well, a weekly writing is what.

Describe a moment when you ignored your intuition. What happened.

There are many times when I ignored my intuition, but I think the biggest happened my senior year of high school when I let my guidance counselor convince me that going to a state school would not be good for me and that I should go to a private school. I planned on going to a school I could afford. I went to a school that started me on this downward spiral of student loans and bad decisions about majors and classes.

I know that I can't play the what-if game because there are so many good things on the outside of the mess I got myself in that I wouldn't want to change those. But, I can't help but wonder if I wouldn't have made that one choice under pressure if I wouldn't at least just broke instead of broke broke broke.

I know that one day things will be better. It may be The Day, but it's coming.

**Please note that I am not considering the guidance of the Holy Spirit lesser than what is called intuition. Is it possible that the Spirit has given women extra sensitivity to help fine tune decision-making?**

***Addendum 11-12-2010: The more I research getting out of debt, the more I feel like a loser. I really did myself a disservice with ignoring my gut, intuition, whatever. Men and women alike shouldn't ignore that gut feeling. I'm not advocating relying completely on it because we're human and generally stupid. At least, I am. I say rely fully on the Holy Spirit.

Things I Learned from the Braves

2010-10-11T07:01:00.000-04:00

I know it's been a while. I have no good excuse except that I have been busy/ distracted. A lot of things have happened that I hope to blog about later. At this time, I would like to relay some things I learned last night, and it all came from a heartbreaking loss in Game 3 of the NLDS.

It is no secret how big of a fan I am of the Braves. Though they sometimes frustrate me, I will never not be a fan. Despite losses that break the hearts of every person in Braves Country, I know that it is a game and that there is always next year. I think I want them to win big this year for several reasons. It's Bobby's last year. We've come from behind to clinch it so many times. We've suffered a lot of injuries of key players late in the season, and we still somehow manage to fight back.

As I was watching Game 3 go down the toilet, I felt the need to get angry at that one player who seemed to forget the fundamentals of baseball. It was so easy to get caught up in the moment and groan as the ball dropped or went through his legs.

[caption id="attachment_458" align="alignright" width="300" caption="Feeling pain just looking at the heartbroken Brave, Brooks Conrad. I hope he finds healing."][/caption]

I came home frustrated, and then I read something on Twitter that broke my heart. It broke my heart because it reminded me that we're all human. It is the unfortunate human condition to make mistakes and to put the blame on the person making them. Here's what I read from pitcher Tim Hudson:

We love him [Conrad] more now than ever.

That one little line forced me to look back on those plays and see the anguish in Brooks Conrad's eyes. Despite Braves fans screaming and booing at him, THE Braves didn't give up on him. They encouraged him, and Conrad is quoted as saying that he isn't going to ask for a day off. (He's also quoted as saying that he wanted to dig a hole somewhere and sleep in it. Poor thing.) We'll find out sometime today whether he's in the lineup. I hope he is. (More on that in a second.)

You see, what happened to Brooks Conrad last night happens to everyone. More than most people have the fortune of not having it on national television. They don't have hundreds and thousands of people replaying those moments on Instant Replay or booing them because of a mistake. One small mess-up can turn into a chain of events that makes you feel like you've screwed up your life and the lives of others around you.

Though some of the fans are mad, the team isn't mad. They recognize at some point and time every player has a slump. We go from celebrating a walk-off grand slam to bashing that same person for dropping a ball. Yes, it was at a critical time, but haven't you messed up at a critical time?

Even though God's love never changes because it is infinite, I liken the way The Braves players reacted to Brooks to the way God reacts when we screw up. I know it's nowhere near a perfect analogy, but God doesn't throw his children to the wayside when we mess up. He lovingly shows us where we've gone astray and in His infinite grace and mercy He stretches us and molds us to become more like His Son.

Why do I hope to see Conrad in the lineup tonight? It's a second chance. He might mess up again tonight or he might hit that walk off grand slam. Either way, he's like us. We, as Christians, live a life of second chances. Don't let anger get the best of you. Don't rely on a person or a team for your happiness because they will surely let you down. Rely on God for everything and suddenly the Post Season (or whatever else) becomes a time of fellowship and fun.

So, whether you eat or drink, orwhatever you do, do all to the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31

The List (edited)

2010-07-08T08:30:00.000-04:00

***Author's note: I updated this post on December 7, 2010. This past baseball season taught me that #1 on the second list made me a hypocrite, so I revamped it. I also edited some others.***

I ran across this great site via another great site via yet another great site. It was ex-site-ing. HAHAHAAA!! Ahem. Sorry.

It all started with Stuff Christians Like. That led to Single and Sane. Then, that led to Mama Kat.

The link to Single and Sane is the inspiration for this post. Mama Kat has a page of writing prompts that I wish I found when I was trying to do the post a day in May (major fail). That's beside the point. Mama Kat challenged her readers to make a list of 50 things they look for in a man. Just read the Single and Sane article for her reaction. It was a little like mine, so I'm going to shorten it, too.

I don't know of anyone who has ever called me picky. I do know that a lot of people have told me that I have to wait until I get my doctorate to get married. If I went by that, it could end up that I won't ever get married. Am I stalling?

There aren't 50. Well, I don't know. There may be, but I doubt it. These aren't nit-picky things like must have chestnut-brown hair with eyes as green as a crayon and a laugh that sounds like thunder. If you would have asked me this question when I was in high school, I probably would have given you a ridiculous list like that.

Finally:

OK, not really finally. A small explanation. There are some things I will not budge on:

He must be a Christian. Not just by name and not just by acts. A real man with a real passion for Jesus and the things that Jesus had a passion for.

We must share the same call. There's nothing worse than one spouse feeling led to overseas missions and the other who doesn't want to. We're called to make disciples, and we (my, uhm, potential man and I) have to be called to do it in the same place.

He must be an ever-growing man of God. His passion to know God more and more each day must outweigh His passion for me or anything else in this life.

He must not be afraid to be the spiritual leader. This comes with 1-3, I believe.

He must not be afraid to defend the Gospel. No matter the cost.

In relation to the first one, his heart must be for those who society has deemed an outcast or unwanted.

He needs a sense of humor and can appreciate mine. (I don't know if I should move this to the second list. It sometimes seems petty to me and others it seems immovable. What do you think?)

Then, there are some that I can wiggle on and have changed over the years and will probably change over more years.

He isn't overly obsessed with video games or with sports. I do enjoy video games and sports but not so much that I sweat Mario or bleed a school's colors. Playing a sport is different. That is perfectly fine. Honestly, I say this because I can become overly passionate about a team (The Braves or Falcons) and neglect some things that actually matter in life. I need a man who can recognize that in me and help me not drown in a sea of tomahawks and feathers.

He needs to accept the fact that I like cats. He doesn't have to love my cat or even like her because I can almost guarantee you that she won't like him. Kicking is not permitted. He just needs to dwell in the same space as her without getting all weird.

He has a strong grasp of what good grammar is. (I understand that no one is perfect. I am not perfect when it comes to grammar as I sometimes don't care about preposition syntax. I tend to write in the passive voice and use clichés from time to time. Though, I do care for superfluous prepositions. They're like nails on a chalk board.)

He needs to have an itch for travel. Overall, I am really a homebody, but there are times when the world is calling my name.

Hm. No where near 50. I don't think I could make it to 50 if I tried.

Love,
Jennifer

What would you give up?

2010-07-07T07:25:00.000-04:00

My good friend, Day, recently posted a blog that made me want to steal her idea. So, I did. Her post starts out:

I've thought a lot about the question, "What would you give up in order for someone to know Christ?" Ideally, we'd all answer, "Everything." That's easy enough to say out loud (or in your head), but when you get down to naming things in particular, it gets really hard. I did this once while I was in Germany, and it really makes your wheels turn. Here are a few things that I'd be willing to give up if it meant that someone would come to know my Savior. Some may seem silly--but they're all things that, in the end, are very close to me.

Some simple things like:

Wallace BBQ and Chick-fil-A

Chocolate

Brewed tea

Coffee

Internet

The Braves

My pets

Some not so simple things like:

Music

My hearing

The ability to speak my heart language or understand anyone

The chance to see my family and friends

My comforts

My culture

My perceived happiness

My pride

...and ultimately my life.

I have given up some of these things, and I know people who have given up even more. If you have a list like this, you know how hard it is even if you are exactly where God has sent you. Almost everyday, I am faced with the conflict of sitting pretty in my air-conditioned house with my comparatively small struggles and completely depending on God and His Word.

I have to remember that we are called everyday to make disciples at the cost of my life no matter what that actually looks like.

What would you give up to see someone come to Christ? What have you given up? Do you know someone who has paid the ultimate price to see someone or a group come to know Christ?

Remember to pray for our persecuted brothers and sisters.

May 22-31

2010-06-13T07:42:00.000-04:00

I thought I'd have the time and brain creativity required to post a post every day in May. I was wrong. Instead of flooding you with posts in a two days time, I decided to concede that I can't do it. Making lists can only go so far. Coming up with ideas everyday is apparently hard for me.

To you, Reader, I am sorry that I didn't follow through. Life (especially school) got in the way.

I am hoping to post a few times a month, though.

As always, I am open for suggestions.

Much love,
Jennifer

I'm Moving!

2010-02-19T20:13:00.001-05:00

I'm moving! I'm headed over to WordPress. It's not you, Blogger; it's me. You've been nothing but good to me, but I know that there will be other bloggers. You won't miss me, I promise.

Thank you everyone for reading and supporting me, and I hope you continue to do so. Over the next few days, I'll be updating the site with all my favorite links and such. All of the posts and comments have already been transferred.

Without further ado, I give you http://jennonamission.wordpress.com

Much love,
Jennifer

Please vote!

2010-02-15T09:16:00.001-05:00

Hi!

I am considering a switch to WordPress. Please visit my blog over there and vote.

http://jennonamission.wordpress.com

(Voting post http://wp.me/pOoMO-2P)

Thanks!
Jennifer

redeemed

2010-02-13T09:00:00.001-05:00

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:6-7)

I am continually humbled by God's grace and sovereignty. You see, I've made some huge mistakes. Nothing made sense to me because I wasn't seeking God's heart. I was going about life blindly, and I stumbled. I fell face first into the mud, and I wallowed in it for a good long while. I couldn't see a way out. I don't know when it was exactly, but God let me in on something. Nothing surprises Him. Nothing. This is incredibly humbling, humiliating, comforting and deeply saddening all at once. He knew I would screw up, but in His completely indescribable grace, He redeemed me. He's still redeeming me.

I don't know exactly what that is going to look like? Why? I don't know the future, but I know that if I keep walking in obedience, He will guide my steps. Today, I had to come to grips with some of my mistakes. It involves some asking forgiveness, and I know it won't be easy. I'm not really looking forward to it, but I hurt some people. I was a jerk, and in a completely sly and passive and unfeeling way, I hurt them. I made excuses, and I let life and my own unmotivatedness get in the way.

The thing is, I can't do this on my own. I have to empty myself, and allow the Spirit to speak in and through me. I hope healing will occur. Why am I telling you this? It comes down to this-- God corrects. God redeems. Read Hosea if you don't believe me. He pursues His own, and desperately wants to save them. The most amazing thing of it all is that I'm somewhere in that picture.

Despite my mistakes, there is hope. He can redeem me and my stupidity. He can turn it around for something great-- for His glory. Two things, I hope, involve Kennesaw State University. One is going back as a student and doing it for Him, Not for me and definitely not my ways. The other thing is something much grander than I. Something of Kingdom proportions. That thing is The Campus Church, a church plant on Kennesaw's campus.

This is where redemption really comes into play in my life. This where the years of schooling for no apparent reason make sense. For some reason, beyond my understanding, God redeemed my ugly past and unusable time for this. All I have to do is obey Him.

Some prayer requests:

1. Pray for the KSU campus community. Pray for a revival.

2. Pray for The Campus Church leadership that they (we) submit our wills and ours lives to God.

3. Pray for First Baptist Woodstock, our sponsoring church.

4. Never forget Haiti.

5. Pray for my friend Erica. She's in Paraguay in training for the Peace Corps. She'll be there, Lord willing, for 27 months.

Fill in the Blanks

2010-02-12T20:21:00.004-05:00

I was going to do a special Valentine's Day themed post, but I changed my mind. So, I'll just say somethings about it.

I really like the candy that comes about around this holiday.
I like the color scheme.
I don't like it that people feel pressured to remember a specific day to buy gifts people don't really need. I know this doesn't apply to all people, but love is the reason we're alive. Celebrate it everyday. Single. Married. Whatever your marital status, celebrate love everyday. Celebrate Biblical love-- 1 Cor 13 kind of love.

Now, I stole this from two of my teammates from Dresden. Thanks Sarah and Day!

Finish these sentences...

Maybe I should... get off the computer.

My ex is... someone I learned a lot from, and he doesn't even know it.

I love... God.
People would say that I am...I don't know. What would you say?
I don't understand... why God loves a complete wretch like me.
When I wake up in the morning... I wonder how much longer I can sleep without being late to work. I need to change that.
I have lost... a lot of my old ways since Germany, and I am grateful to God for sending me to Germany.
Life is full of... blessings, mercies, and lessons.
My past has taught me... to lean heavily on God.
I get annoyed... when children of God don't see other people as children of God.
Parties are... something I tend to avoid.
Dogs... are insanely loyal.
Cats... are my favorite animals.
Tomorrow is... Saturday.
I have a low tolerance for... myself when I get angry.
If I had a million dollars... I'd give half to the church and use the other half to pay off loans and other things my family needs.
I am terrified... of clowns and the dentist.
I've come to realize that my last kiss... doesn't exist because I've never been kissed. No first, so no last.
I am listening to... the television.
I talk... too much. Seriously. I need to be quick to listen more.
My friends... are an insane blessing from God.
My first real kiss... will be from my husband.
Love is... the only thing that will remain in the end.
Marriage is... the end result for ALL believers in Christ. (I'm not talking about earthly marriage.) It's beautiful and exciting.
Somewhere, someone is thinking... Well, obviously.
I'll always... feel out of place until I see God's face.

The last time I really cried... was for Haiti.
My cell phone is... fine the way it is.
Before I go to bed... I usually read and/ or mess with the cat.
Right now I am thinking about... this survey.
Babies... are beautiful nightmares, according to Matt Chandler.
Today I... watched the snow.
I really want to...graduate.

Learning

2010-02-06T01:01:00.000-05:00

"And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, 'Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.'" Revelation 21:3-4 (NIV)

I realize that it's been a while since my last post. A lot has been going on, and I haven't had the time (OK, yes I have) or energy (that's true) to sit down and write. So, I'm lying here in bed at 12:30 in the morning. Why? I may have had two cups of coffee after dinner. Decaf? I don't know. All I know is that I am awake when normally I am off in dream land.

There are a lot of things I've been learning lately. Where to start?

1. In about a week's time, I listened to Francis Chan's entire series on Revelation. It was about 30 sermons all together. I've never really taken the time to read or study the book. It's always freaked me out, and I never fully understood it. What did I learn? That I don't have any time to waste. I must pray without ceasing that those I love and those I have a hard time loving and those I don't know hear about Jesus. And His life, death, resurrection, and His coming back. It scares me that people don't change no matter what God does. It also scares me that I take too much stock in my own success. One day this will all be gone. Why not sell what I have, pay off debts, and live my life serving others who grew up without what I have?

2. I'm sad about the Church in America. We're all (not all, but too many) about stuff and lights and fog machines. What happened to pray first and let God do what He will? Isn't more amazing to see the masses flock to Church because God answered our prayers than us manipulating folks to get them to come. Who gets the glory for that? Certainly not God.

3. Despite all of that, He still loves us. It blows my mind. It blows my mind that people don't even begin to grasp His love. Otherwise, we wouldn't be asking silly questions like "Can I do this or that and still be a Christian?" If we understood His love even a little, those questions wouldn't even cross our minds. We'd be asking Him how we can best love and glorify Him. How far can I go to glorify God?

4. I am excited and nervous about the church plant I am involved with. The Campus Church at Kennesaw State. I shouldn't be nervous, but I am. I only want what He wants. I want Him. Go, God. Glorify Yourself. Please.

5. I wouldn't want Heaven if there was no Jesus even if there were all my friends, family, wealth, health, and rest. I only want Him. Without Him, there's nothing. NOTHING.

6. I am glad that Jesus didn't return last year? Why? I was drowning in sin. I would have been ashamed many many times if He returned at many given points last year. Also, I'm glad because there are some people I love who I am not completely sure of their salvation. I'm glad He's patient. Glad is inadequate.

7. Love is more than I can comprehend.

8. I think God likes to laugh, and I am thankful for that.

9. I love and miss Dresden and the people there.

Please, please, please pray for my dear friend Erica. She's leaving Monday for a series of flights and orientations to being 27 months with the Peace Corps. She'll be living with the great folks in Paraguay, and they're the most blessed people to be getting her. Pray for her family. Pray for us, her friends. I love her dearly, and I'll miss her.

Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (NIV)

Truckers, Mail Carriers, and Blessings

2009-12-29T12:10:00.001-05:00

It's amazing what happens when you take the risk and obey God. As ashamed as I am to admit it, I used to frequently ignore those little tugs on my heart to step outside the norm and obey God.

Recently, it seems as if God has been granting m the opportunity to obey Him in some pretty cool ways. Out of the abundance (as compared to the rest of the world) God has blessed me with, I've been giving to people. In all honesty and humilty, I don't have much to give when compared to other Americans. And in that same honesty, pride and entitlement take over and tell me to keep what little I have and spend it on things as I see fit. Silly me.

Thankfully, I swallowed my pride and listened to God. Please don't take this post and these stories as bragging. Believe me, it was God who did it.

A couple of months ago, I took my mom to her pain management doctor for an outpatient procedure. You have to pay your co-pay upfront or you won't be seen. The gentleman in front of us was trying to get the girl behind the counter to let him have his procedure done without the copayment. His company was late on paying him, and he would have the money next week. It was only $13. Surely, he begged, she could have mercy on him.

My heart was pained as this man's plight because he needed he same procedure as my mom. I knew how much it helps her do simple things like walk wihout pain. Before I knew it, I told the girl at the desk that I would pay. She gave me a quizzical and almost condemning look. It was as if she were saying, "You'll never see this man or your money again." I knew this and didn't care. I knew what it was like to not get paid on time. I knew what is was like to see a loved one in pain.

So, I paid the money. Pastor Johnny always says you'll never miss what you give away. It's true. Though I still have trouble getting paid, God has always provided right when I need it.

Fast forward to December 23rd. I had finally gotten paid for the first two week of December, and it was as if God instantly placed a need on my heart. I chuckled a little because I had needs, too, ya know.

I knew what I had to do. Once I decided (was given the grace) to obey, I got really excited. I went to Kroger and purchased two gift cards to give to my mail carrier. I called the post office an got her name so that the card wouldn't be impersonal. After all, she is a great mail carrier , and she's quite patient. I got home, and wrote her a card. I wrote that these cards can both be used for her and her family; she can keep one and give one; or she could give both. I told her I was praying for her protection this Christmas season. (Really, who is more vulnerable than delivery people at Christmas?) I put them in the mailbox on my to work on Christmas Eve. My dad saw me and asked what I was doing. He seemed touched.

I anxiously awaited to her from Miss Carol abou she did with the cards. Of course, I would have been fine without a letter. I just really wanted to see how God worked in this situation. I got a card yesterday (Dec 28).

She wrote that she was so touched and that I reminded her what Christmas is really about. Not only did she bless two family with the gift cards I gave her, she added two more and gave those to two more families!! How amazing is that???

We come to today. I haven't been feeling 100%, and frankly, I was grumpy at the idea of coming to work. I got to work and was moving some heavy tiles around when this trucker appeared on my side of the warehouse. We get a lot of truckers in and out of here, but most of them mind their own business and don't talk to me. I asked him if I could help and pointed him to the office where the warehouse guys were. He said he'd wait out here for them. He noticed all the thousand of samples I was working with, and we starte talking about them. I told him that business has picked up. We got on a short stint about the economy, and I told him that I hope it stays "picking up" so that I could get back to school. He asked me what I was studying, and I told him. For whatever reason, I tol him that I'd like to go into ministry full-time once I graduated.

To my great relief, he wanted to know a little more. So, we started chatting about college ministry and the Campus Church. He was telling me about his family in ministry in South Georgia. He also mentioned that he'd like to know more about the Bible and that college students need to know more, too.

Our conversation ended, and I said something dorky in response to him wanting to know more abou the Bible. No sooner had he left my presence that God placed on my heart to give him one of my Bibles. I knew exactly which one. Thankfully, I still had all my Bibles in my car from my Sunday School class. Actually, I wasn't 100 per cent sure that the one I was thinking of was in there. I hesitated for a moment wondering if it was really God. I almost didn't go to my car, but I felt a quickening of my heart. I ran out to my car, and there is was. My NIV Student Bible. It was the one I got when I graduate high school.

I went back inside and didn't know what to do. He was sitting in his truck doing some paperwork while the other loaded his truck. I stood at the door for a moment, sallowed my fear, and walked down to his truck. I knocked on his door, and he opened it and turned off his truck so I wouldn't have to yell.

I asked him if he had a Bible to read. He said yes, he had the Saint James or whatever it's called. I asked him if if had notes in it, and he said that it did not. I asked him if he would like a Bible with notes and that was easier to read. He smiled and he would like that very much. So, I presented him the Bible I had. I told him that it had all kinds of study aids, and that it was mine when I was a student. But, it didn't have any markings in it. (That was before I thought it was OK to write in a Bible.) He was so thrilled that he said he would start reading it once he finished his paperwork. Thrilled, I told him to have a Happy New Year and went back inside.

Joy filled my heart. I wonder what God will do with him. With all those people who got gift cards. Whatever happens, to God be the glory. Don't miss and opportunity to obey God and bless others. It's joy unspeakable.

Worth

2009-12-18T10:36:00.001-05:00

Too much of my time is spent trying to talk myself out of feeling worthless. In the world today, it's pretty easy to feel or be made to feel worthless. Look at the cover of a magazine. Listen to people chat about so and so graduating and that person can finally begin life.

Sometimes, I find myself doing things to make myself have more worth to the world. I make excuses about school when the stark reality of it all that I cannot afford to go back. God has me at the point for a reason.

I am working on losing weight in a healthy way, and it's hard. My main objective to go honor God in making this temple more fit for Him. I find the world creeping in telling me to lose the weight because no one could ever love you in this state. I also find jealousy croping up when people talk about how this person would be perfect for that person.

Where is worth? In the Christ who lives in me. Without Him, nothing I can do to myself to make myself more valuable to this world matters. Without Him, I am an object of wrath, and that's not beauty.

Let's celebrate the beauty within us all. Let us honor and obey our Christ by doing as He commanded, and the question of our worth won't matter anymore. All that will matter is that we're making disciples of all nations to the glory of God.

Day 1 w/o Facebook

2009-12-16T18:15:00.000-05:00

Hello, Everyone--

Thank you to those who read this blog and who are supporting me in this decision to give up facebook.

It amazes me how the human brain gets so used to doing something over and over again that it becomes second nature. I deleted the facebook app from my iPod touch, and today, I found myself automatically pressing the screen where the icon used to be. I kept trying to convince myself that one more look wouldn't hurt.

Isn't that how we fall into sin to begin with? Just one more time. I can hide it. I think this post from one of my favorite bloggers (Jon Acuff of Stuff Christians Like) explains it beautifully: Pretending We Have Boxes

So, to God be the glory!

Jennifer

This Just In!

2009-12-15T18:48:00.000-05:00

Hello, Reader.

I'm back with another exclusive interview with the author of this blog. There's breaking news.

Greater Things (GT): So, self. What's going on with the Facebook deal?
Jennifer (JC): I'm giving it up.
GT: Why??
JC: It's become a hindrance in my life. Facebook is not bad in and of itself, but (ashamedly) I admit that I have been relying too heavily upon it.
GT: How long will you be off?
JC: I don't know. It may be forever. Who knows?
GT: Care to explain a little more?
JC: There are a lot of little reasons, but there are two main ones. First, whenever I hear that someone is not on Facebook, I feel a little jealousy. I want to not be so tied down it like them. Second, I am on it way too much. Instead of communing with God, I am checking up on people. I see things, get curious, and explore. A lot of the hurt I've caused my heart comes from assuming too much from one-sided wall conversations. It comes from a lack of trust in God. That may seem silly, but seeing some things on there make me question things I should just leave up to God.
GT: How will you keep up to date with things?
JC: Well, there's this silly thing called e-mail. There are theses contraptions called cell phones, and this new-fangled blog thingy. People survive without Facebook, and once upon a time, I did, too.
GT: Very good. Any last words?
JC: Haha, funny. I'm not doing this to be holier than thou or to judge anyone. It's a personal decision between God and me. He's been working on me for a long time to give it up. Let me tell you that I am already trying to make small concessions about it. It's ridiculous what the flesh will fight against.

Interview with the author

2009-11-19T01:09:00.000-05:00

Blogger's own Greater Things (GT) interviews the author, Jennifer Chapman:

GT: So, self, you've been home longer than you were in Germany. How does that make you feel?
JC: Wow. You sound a little bit like a therapist. Now that I think about it, it's a little insane.
GT: How so?
JC: Well, it certainly doesn't feel like five months. Sometimes it feel longer, and sometimes it feels shorter.
GT: How have these five plus months been for you?
JC: They've been hard. [At this moment, the author looks at the ceiling. She seems to be thinking of her response, and I notice she's a little misty eyed.] It really hasn't been a matter of readjusting to American culture or anything. God really broke me in Germany, and I knew I'd have some tough things to face once I got home. I just didn't realize they'd be this hard.
GT: Care to elaborate?
JC: I guess. I've royally screwed up some things in my life. I know that I am not alone in my mistakes. I feel alone, though. I've made some pretty bad judgment calls when it comes to school and finances.
GT: What happened?
JC: I won't go into any detail just yet, but I've let an overriding sense of failure and fear of failure rule my life. Occasionally, I'd let hope in, but failure seemed to stamp it out fairly quickly. Last week was probably the hardest week I've had sense I got home.
GT: Anything in particular?
JC: It's just a culmination of a lot of things. You know, I live so far away from my church and friends. Sure, living at home is fine (no rent). I miss it more and more each day. I've actually reached a pretty cool point, though.
GT: Yeah? How did this come about?
JC: God has perfect timing. Nothing surprises Him, and I take comfort in that. I heard a sermon and a couple of other messages that really spoke truth into my heart. I also talked with a great friend about my struggles. This period, this season will end one day. I'm not sure exactly what this season means, but I know God is above it all. He can see everything clearly. I trust Him.
GT: Is there anything that God was working on in you that has become clearer?
JC: I'm glad you asked that. In fact, there is one thing. Worship. It's more than beautiful music that has an undeniable pull on my soul; it's a lifestyle. Do you let a praise and worship be the only time you worship the Lord? Is it just red-hot, feel-good, self-serving emotion for half an hour or is it a blazing passion in all you do to give all you have back to the Lord who has given us everything?
GT: That's a good word. Do you have last words?
JC: Yeah. Take my advice. Seek the Lord first. Don't make Him a last resort. It will save a lot of heartache. He knows what's best for you, and everything works for His glory... which astoundingly is for your (my) good.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall directyour paths.
Proverbs 3:5-6

God is bigger

2009-10-19T16:59:00.000-04:00

Fall is here, but I think I missed something... aren't the leaves supposed to change color?? Maybe they changed it while I was in Germany. I think there's a conspiracy going on. We'll see.

Things around here have taken some interesting twists and turns.

I've always know that the messes in my life are caused mostly by your truly. It wasn't until recently that that particular truth set in and became a truth in my life. Even though I caused these messes, I was certain that I could fix them. I kept to myself, let things build up, and now I'm in a huge mess.

Even as Christians, we still mess up. The thing that sets us apart is that we are given the grace, the power, to overcome this world. The victory is ours for the taking; we just have to take hold and never let go.

I don't believe with anything within me that we are meant to live a mediocre life of defeat in sin. It is true that despite all the sin in our lives, we are going to Heaven one day if Christ is the Lord and Savior of our lives. However, Christ set us free. FREE! He didn't tear down the prison walls for us to sit in the rubble. (There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus,who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. Romans 8:1 NKJV)

A lot of people overlook the Old Testament because they think it's not relevant to today. Well, if you're going to go that route, the New Testament technically isn't either! The beauty of the Bible is that is all true and can be lived out in all areas of your life. For instance, the story of David and Goliath isn't just a story. David was anointed king of Israel. He was the youngest and smallest of his six brothers, AND he was anointed king while Saul was still on the throne! TREASON! Do you know why David defeated Goliath? He fully believed with all his being that God was bigger than some massive giant-man. He fully believed that his God would take care of him because he was doing His work. There was no fear for this man. There was only God.

So, what is your Goliath? Do you believe that it is bigger than God?

No Title

2009-09-23T17:34:00.001-04:00

I have been home for a little over three months.

It feels like longer.

It is a weird feeling.

I wish that I could go back in time and do things differently in Germany.

I was not allowing Christ to live in and through me the entire time, and I am sorry.

Please forgive me.

Things are different because I did not allow God the time or day to speak into my life.

As a result, I am living back at home; I am broke and seemingly without a future.

I do not know what the future hold, but I do have hope.

I have to.

Otherwise, I would die.

Being home and away from my life at school has taught me a lot.

God is still all I need.

God will never leave me.

I can ask Him anything, and He will not laugh.

I believe He will answer my prayers for rescue.

The world thinks I am insane.

Perhaps, I am.

But, I do not listen to this world anymore.

Faith.

Hope.

Love.

Grace.

Power.

Life.

He is all I need.

“Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.”- Romans 5:3-4 (NIV)

H O M E

2009-06-17T11:42:00.000-04:00

Somethings change a lot, and some things don't change. That's a reality people have to deal with if they've been away from home for any extended amount of time. People change a lot, too.

There are some things I was hoping for when I returned home, but I've learned that they're not here or they've changed. I've been told it's for the best. Needless to say, it hurt my feelings. But, I believe it is God telling me that I don't need to forget all I learned these past five months. He's in control, and I need to lean on Him for everything.

With that said, home is great. In a weird way, it doesn't seem like I was gone for five months. My teammate, Day, says it perfectly in her blog: I'm home? Really????.Of course, names are different, but you get the idea. I have wanted to be home for longer than I care to admit, but God has opened my eyes to a world that needs Him in a most desperate way. I can't sit still and let this experience fade in the background. It comes down to telling people at home that people need the love of Jesus, and God wants us to deliver that message. Amazing, right?

I heard it put at debriefing that 'we are the messengers, not the editors'. We need to know the Word and know that it is enough. It is up to God to do the rest. All we have to do is obey. Of course, that's easier said than done. Get out there and share this love that overflows. Don't stay silent.

Thank you for your prayers and love.

I'm home!

Love,
Jennifer

Almost The End

2009-06-08T13:30:00.004-04:00

For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:38-9 (ESV)

I'm sitting in a bagel shop with one of my teammates. We occasionally look at each other and say, "June 8th." Neither of us can believe it. Neither can the other two on this team. We have a week, and Lord willing, we will be home. We have less than a week in Dresden. It's surreal, and I am a little overwhelmed at all we still have left to do.

Day, Jessica, and I spent this previous week in Bavaria and Austria. It was amazing to see God's handiwork in a new way. Human minds and hands can certainly create some beautiful works, but nothing compares to the majesty of the imagination of our God. Castles, churches, and cities millennia old pale in comparison to the grace of Swan Lake or the mighty peaks of the Alps or the swiftness of the Danube.

Bavaria is amazing. We visited Dachau Concentration Camp. That was an experience I will never forget. Knowing that I was walking on the ground where people's lives were treated as if they were nothing more than, well, nothing was sickening and sobering. The beauty of the day seemed a perfect contrast to the death camp memorial. Ugh. Wow.

That same day, we had the chance to visit Regensburg. That's where my mom was born! She was born in an Army hospital. The town is so beautiful, and I really want to go back so I can properly explore it.

The next day, we went to the small towns of Füssen and Schwangau to visit the castles of Mad King Ludwig. Neuschwanstein (the castle the Disney castle is modeled after) is SO beautiful. The three of us hiked up to see it, and then we hiked up some more to see it from a different angle. Then, we hiked up some MORE to see it from yet a different angle. We then hiked all the way back down going a different route. It was so beautiful. Knowing that I was there, and I saw the Swan Lake is, just, WOW. We also got to see the less ostentatious but no less beautiful Hohenschwangau Castle. The mad king didn't even live in the Disney-inspired castle. He was just crazy and wanted a toy, I guess. All in all, it was a beautiful and exhausting day. Now, I can say that I hiked up the Alps. :-) The following day, we traipsed into Salzburg, Austria. This is city is breathtaking. I want to go back there to explore some more.

We stayed in a hostel in Munich (which we also explored when we could), and I am not likely to repeat that experience. Munich was a cool city. We saw the Olympic Park, BMW world, and the coolest Rathaus (city hall) ever! We had some very interesting experiences with, uh, the locals. Let's say that Germans, too much beer, and lederhosen make for unpleasant experiences. It would make you think twice about lowering the drinking age in America.

Those are some of the adventures I've had this past week. Here's a link for pictures (you can also see the slide show in the post from yesterday). I am slowly working on labels for the pics.

Bavaria and Austria

Thank you for everything you do! I can't wait to see everyone at home!! Please pray for us as all of us all over Western Europe make our ways to Paris on June 12th. Some will be leaving for home on June 15th, and others will be heading back to the field until late July or August.

Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us. Selah
Psalm 62:8

Travel!

2009-06-07T16:39:00.004-04:00

Quickly!

Went to Bavaria and Austria this past week. Here are the pics!! Will label more soon! I'd recommend clicking on the slideshow to see the pictures better. There are a lot of pics. :-)

HOME= JUNE 15th!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I will post SOON. I PROMISE!!!

All my love,
Jennifer

Speaking Out

2009-05-29T12:36:00.004-04:00

I am sitting here wondering what to write. Anger is making me shake a little. I've just deleted a heated post deciding that it wasn't the best thing to write.

God sets his children apart. He sets us apart to do different things for the same purpose. Though His children may be in the same place, He may call them to do different things. He may call them to different people. He will call them to do what He knows will bring Him the most glory. He knows us so well that He won't put us somewhere where we'd be useless.

Despite the feelings of uselessness I've encountered so far on this trip, I know that God is in control. I know that He knows what He is doing. I also know that I have to say no to some things and yes to others. It may not jive with what others view as right, but who are you to question God?

I am thankful for the opportunities to meet people. I am thankful that He sent us over here to minister to different types of people. He used our strengths in different places. He ripped the old us out of the picture. He is growing us and teaching us, and guess what, it looks different for all of us.

In all honesty, there are pieces of me I unwillingly left in America. Sometimes I feel like they're fading away as they're replaced with more righteous characteristics. Others, I don't want to fade. There are some pieces of myself I wish to leave in Germany and let them fade away. God's stretched me further than I thought was possible, and sometimes I felt so weak that Satan took that opportunity to jump right in and poke and prod me to new levels of annoyance and anger.

With all that said, there are things I may do or say that may go against what you see as right. Know this, God is my guide. His ways are perfect.

***17 DAYS***

A Mixed Bag

2009-05-26T12:29:00.004-04:00

I really can't believe the end is in sight. I must admit that I never thought it would get here. Five months of God teaching you and growing you makes for a long trip.

We're starting to wrap up things over here. We're sorting through our stuff and deciding what to leave over here to make room for the stuff we've managed to accumulate throughout these months. It's not easy, and it's not fun. For those of you who know me, you know how grumpy I get when I have to pack and move. It's the story of my life. I hate saying goodbye. I hate packing even more, but that's beside the point.

We have to say goodbye to our conversation partners this week. It's weird to think that I'll never see these people again. Well, I can't say never, but it's more likely than not that I won't. I hope we (my team) made some kind of positive impact on these people's lives.

What else? We're going to Bavaria June 2-6th! We're excited!! We'll be staying in Munich and traveling to places like the Schloss Neuschwanstein (Neuschwanstein Castle. Neuschwanstein means 'new swan stone'... aka The Cinderella Castle), Dachau Concentration Camp, and Munich (of course). We're also hoping to go to Regensburg (that's where my mom was born) and some other places I can't seem to recall at this moment. There will definitely be pictures!

I have great news about our language tutor, Ingeborg. We won't be able to visit her this week, and possibly not anymore because she's been moved to a rehab center nearly an hour away. It's great and sad. She's regained some use of her right hand! The swelling has gone down. (All of this reported to us by her piano teacher 'Jim the American'.) We're going to get a small gift of thanks before we leave, and hopefully Jim will be able to get it to her. Thank you for praying for her.

Also, please pray for my dear friend Kelli. She's truly a blessing. For a while, she's been sick, and doctors can't seem to pinpoint what's going on. She recently went to the Mayo Clinic, and I'm hoping and praying that she can get some for real answers. I can only imagine how hard it's been on her, but she's been incredibly resilient. She's been a true inspiration. Anyone who has the chance to meet her has met the love of Christ.

Other requests:
Courtney, Jon, and new baby Moriah Crawford!
My mom-- about her job and she's sick.
For all the BCMer's heading out this summer to do God's work.

Thank you for all of your prayers and support. It's been my stronghold.

I love you all very much!
Jennifer

Travels and Prayer

2009-05-22T05:41:00.003-04:00

Sorry for the lack of regular updates. I couldn't really think of anything to write, and then I realized that you may want to hear about all the traveling I've been doing.

Remember the story of Sandra? We've been keeping up with her, and we're praying for her. She came to one of our Bible studies last night, and we hope that she could take something away from that. A few weeks ago, we went to Leipzig with her. Here are the pictures from that. Leipzig.

Day, Jessica, and I went to Görlitz and Zgorzelec one weekend while Sarah was visiting a friend in Frankfurt. Görlitz and Zgorzelec are called the Twin Cities. Görlitz lies in Germany and Zgorzelec is in Poland. Here are some pictures. Görlitz and Zgorzelec

May 9th was Day's birthday! For her birthday, we went back to Berlin. It was great because we got to see some things we didn't have the chance to see before. The four of us went on our own, and it was fun to try and navigate. Here's a link to those pictures: Berlin Again

Then, we went to Hamburg for four days to visit a friend and his supervisors. It was a great city, but there was a lot of need for Jesus. Hamburg is situated on the beginning parts of the Elbe (which also runs through Dresden). Here are pictures of the great city of Hamburg.

When we got back from Hamburg, we went to Prague for a day! I think Prague is my favorite place so far. It's such a beautiful city. I really want to go back one day for more than a day. Here are the pictures. Prague: Czech it out!

The countdown to home is in the twenties. As some of you know, it's been a great but hard adventure. Please pray that these last few weeks are for the glory of God.

Also, pray for our language tutor, Ingeborg. She had a stroke last Friday. We went to see her on Sunday and on Wednesday. She's made tremendous progress, but she doesn't have the use of her right hand. She's 86 years old, but she was highly mobile. She was learning how to play the piano, and I hope that she is completely healed. She recognized us, and remembered that we were taking lessons from her, but she doesn't really remember her English.

Thank you for your continued prayers and support. See most of you soon!!

Love,
Jennifer

Paging: Jennifer Chapman

2009-05-05T13:15:00.002-04:00

The other day I stood on my tiptoes so I could look into the mirror in our bathroom. It's become an automatic reflex just like avoiding my eyes. As I stood there wishing that the mirror was lower, I looked into my eyes, and I stared at the stranger looking back. I don't know where the person I left at home is. Sometimes, I miss her. Sometimes. I am adjusting to this new person.

Where did this person come from? She's a product of an American being rubbed raw spiritual warfare in Germany. She's a product of frustrations and anger quelled by a loving and just God who proves Himself faithful despite her nastiness. She's a product of countless tears cried in pain and of her Lord picking her up off the floor.

Being a Christian is not easy. Working for God is not easy. Giving your life, your everything, to Him is not easy. He never said it would be. Once you accept Christ, you've died to yourself and this world to become alive in Christ. Christ didn't live an easy life because His life was not of this world. His disciples didn't have it easy. Why should we? Why shouldn't we fight for the glory and honor of His name? He died for us. Die for Him.

There are countless time when I have wanted to give up and go home. But, God wouldn't let me. He gently tells me that He's not done with me yet. I know that He'll never be done with me, but I am here until June 15th, and no matter what comes my way, I have to stay. Not out of obligation, but because I want to glorify Him. Because I love Him, and He loves me.

Through all the homesickness, misery, frustrations, joy, beauty, and love, this new person in the mirror is here to stay. She may be raw, but she's healing. Slowly but surely I am getting used to her.

I know there will still be tough times ahead. I know that there will be times when I say or do something I never would have said before I came, but I have to remember that it's my flesh fighting the glorious Spirit of Christ within me. I have to remember that Christ is victorious through all of this.

God has my best interest at heart. Why? Because He loves me. Why? I don't really know, but if it glorifies Him, so be it. I don't deserve it, but I'll take it. I'll take it any day over being lost and wandering and ugly.

So, here's to you, new girl.

Untitled

2009-04-26T15:10:00.005-04:00

I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. Gal 2:20

This is what is missing. Are we honoring or denying Christ?

Are you a Man of Christ? Where are you?

Are you a Woman of Christ? Where are you?

I don't care if this offends you. It's what I'm fighting for. It may not be pretty, and it may look like nothing right now, but God and His glory are more than worth my life.

This is what it boils down to-- this trip may be hard. I may never see anything come from it. I may look back on this time and wonder what was the purpose of all the pain and suffering and heartache? I may never understand it, but whatever God wants, I will gladly give it to Him. After all, He died for me. Should I not die for Him?

I won't settle. I won't. I won't settle for a life not worthy of God. I won't settle for a marriage that no one notices. I won't settle for a family living in the background. I won't settle for a single life of complaints. My life is not my own.

Honestly

2009-04-19T12:11:00.006-04:00

For "everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved." How then will they call on him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching? And how are they to preach unless they are sent? As it is written, "How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!" Romans 10:13-15

I am sitting upstairs in the relative quietness of the Dietz home. Most of the troops have gone out for a walk by the river.

I was meditating on my week, and I thought you should hear this story.

This past week was completely different than any week I've had over here. We started out the week with a blessing of unlimited Internet for a total of three days. In the midst of that, we met a new conversation partner, Sandra.

We met her on Tuesday and chatted for nearly three hours. We then met up with her again at a student bar thing in the cellar of a student apartment building on Thursday. And, on Friday, she went with us to Leipzig, her hometown and a city a little west of Dresden in Saxony.

Friday was a fun day, and pictures will follow soon, but I found this a bit more important than pictures. The five of us walked around beautiful Leipzig, and I got to see a church in which Luther preached, Wagner was baptized, and Bach (yes, Bach) played the organ. Sandra pridefully showed us around her city.

The train ride back is where the real bittersweet beauty lies. It started out in a rush and panic that we would miss the train and have to wait an hour for the next one. We didn't, but we did board to a slam packed train. I was none to thrilled about having to sit on the stairs, but I knew it wouldn't be for long because there was a major stop about 20 min away. After some shifting and rearranging of people, I still ended up on the stairs. Hooray for comfort.

About 10 minutes into the ride, Sarah found me being all pitiful on the stairs and said that a seat freed up next to Sandra. I was a little sore and inwardly cranky from my stint on the stairs that I would have sat next to rude smelly German. Thankfully, I didn't have to do that.

I made my way down to the seat next to Sandra and opened my Bible and put in my ear buds. I know that was a little rude, but I was not in the mood (at that moment) to talk to anyone. Did I mention that I was slightly damp from the rain? I am not sure how much time passed, but I looked up and Sarah had gone to talk to Jessica and Day to tell them seats had freed up near us. I looked back down at my Bible, and Sandra tapped me on the shoulder.

"Do you mind if I ask what you are reading?" Honestly, I was a little stunned. I thought that even if you've never read a Bible, you'd (some yous, not all) at least know what one looked like. That may sound American or arrogant or completely naive, but it's the truth. I know that there are tons (too many) of people who have no idea what a Bible looks like, but I thought that a German might know.

She was surprised to see that I was reading the Bible like anyone would read any other book. She asked me what my favorite part was. It told her that it all is my favorite. Then, I concentrated on a few key books from which I have learned a lot-- Psalms and Proverbs and a few of Paul's letters. The beauty of it all is that Sarah jumped in the conversation when I was talking about how glorious Psalms is.

The two of us spent the remainder of the train ride talking to her about a lot of spiritual matters-- God's existence, Jesus, hope, faith, joy, the reason for living, and the list goes on. The most mind-blowing thing-- the most heart-breaking thing-- was that she had either never heard what we had to say or heard it presented in the way we presented it. She could tell there was something different about us. She could tell that we really believed what we were saying. She could see our passion, our hope, our love-- the passion, hope, and love that could only come from God.

Without question, people know where I stand in my faith. I haven't always been a good example of Christianity, but that was a different time. Since I have been here, I've shared with people about God, and they know I'm a Christian. But, I have yet to flat out share the Gospel. You may be thinking, "What!? Isn't that what you're there for?" Well, I don't really know why I am here. I am simply obeying God. Not simply, really, as nothing about this trip is simple.

When I was sharing about Jesus, the look in her eyes was heartbreaking. She was so focused on what I was saying. She was trying to drink it all in all the while battling what she's grown up with. She has never touched a Bible. She did not know what the 10 Commandments were, really. She knew of the story of Creation, but she believes in evolution. I was floored. She's never met a true Christian-- a person striving with all their might to be like Christ.

This is what I encounter all the time. There are people looking to fill the void in their lives with a range of things from drugs, alcohol, and sex to family, friends, and television. Their lives may appear together, or their lives may appear to be falling apart. They all lack the hope, peace, and purpose a person has whose knows the awesome love of Jesus Christ.

So, as you pray, please keep this mind. There are people out there who have never heard the Truth. They may have head stories in passing, but they don't know. There are some who don't see a need for Christ as they "have everything they need". Sandra is a real person. Through the power of the Holy Spirit, Sarah and I were able to present the Truth to her. We want to give her a Bible in German. (Which she was shocked to know that there is a Bible in German. She thought it was an American thing because the first Bible she saw was mine... in English.)

We were able to push her scope of thinking into the possibility that a higher being does exist. She finds the idea of Hell scary.

It's a start.

Updates!!

2009-04-12T17:34:00.003-04:00

Have you ever started typing something, gotten really far along in it, and have your computer crash? Yeah, me too. That's how this started. I tried to save it, but my computer wouldn't let me. Then, it crashed. Needless to say, I was not pleased. It tried to make up for it when it “recovered” my document by “recovering” a non-edited paragraph I previously deleted. However, that is beside the point, but I thought you should know all of that. So, I am going to start from scratch because I love you. You can thank me by sending presents.

March 22-28
March 29-April 4
April 5- 11 (New as of 4/13)

Frohe Ostern! Happy Easter! For the glory of God, Christ died to set you free!

Love,
Jennifer

A Team, A Waterfall, and An Alpine Slide

2009-04-12T16:50:00.001-04:00

I learned a lot this week. It was nearly information overload, and I hope I can remember most of it. All of it would be nice, but I don't think that's possible. There's a possibility that a little bit of my brain leaked out from so much information.

What was this week? It was a week long team building workshop in the middle of nowhere, Germany. It was only about an hour and a half from Dresden, but it's still the middle of nowhere. The city is Zschorlau, and it's a quaint little town in the foothills of, well, some hills.

Throughout the week, we learned about ourselves, why we react the way we do to certain situations, what our needs are as individuals and as we work in teams, and other things to that effect.

What did I learn? Well, I learned that music and literary things are great needs of mine. You may have though, well, duh. BUT! The way I tested, with 99 being the highest need for something, music and literary things were a 99 for me. I also learned that when your needs are not met in whatever situation, you go into stress mode. That would explain all the posts about worship and why I miss it so much or any e-mail that I've sent out that may have slightly led you to believe I'm insane. I know that music plays a huge role in my life, but I never realized that not having it the way I need causes me stress. A lot of things clicked this weekend personally and corporately with the team. There's really too much to explain, but if you would like to know more, just e-mail me.

While we were in Zschorlau, we found a beautiful waterfall--

We also found an Alpine Slide. You control your own speed. I went down twice. The first time was a test, so I went not as fast, but I found out that the car wouldn't fly off the track. So, I went full speed the second time. :-)

And coming down!

HOME

Conversations, Music, and SUN!

2009-04-12T16:45:00.006-04:00

The following Monday, we met up with one of our conversation partners at an Indian restaurant in the heart of Neustadt. I knew it was there, but I didn't realize what it was. (If that makes any sense...) The food was good, and the coffee was probably some of the best I've had. Tuesday was the greatest day up to this point. Why? Three words-- Sunshine. Blue sky. That's right, folks! They exist in Germany! We never thought we'd see the day where we could walk around this grand city of ours out of the confines of a big puffy jacket, scarf, gloves, and hat. Needless to say, we all went a little picture crazy. Here's the proof:

Wednesday was the usual German lessons with our 86 year old tutor. Then, we all met Jason at the University to see if we could get a foot in at the Auslander (foreigners aka international) Student office. That was a big mess of confusion because they were helping the internationals register for classes, and we couldn't meet anyone who could help. We decided that we would try again after we returned from our team building conference (more about that in the next blog). We walked around the campus and found several places to hang up fliers advertising our English practice service. (Exciting!! We got three calls last Sunday!!!)

On Thursday, we were slated to go over to the Journeygirl's place for a Bible study with one of her friends from her language class. I don't remember if I mentioned him before, but he's from France, and he's an Atheist. He likes to discuss religion with everyone because he sees it as a learning process. We've met him once and we talked about a lot. I pray that all we said was of the Spirit and not of us. Before we went, Day and I went to Hauptstrasse (Main Street) to look around in the shops. We can see Hauptstrasse from our window. We didn't have that long to look because we had to be at the Jpurneygirl's apartment. Unfortunately, French Guy called and said he wasn't feeling well. So, it was decided that we would go to Alauanpark to do the Bible study. It was another gorgeous albeit windy day.

The following Friday was quite eventful, but it was not in the usual way. This Friday would be the second we missed going out on the street. The previous Friday was just a bad day to go out because we had walked around Neustadt in the rain, and we felt drained spiritually and physically. Our hearts were not in the right place to have gone out. However, we attended Jugend at the church. Jugend is German for youth. They have their youth nights every Friday, and this particular Friday was designated American Night.

We were asked a week prior if we could prepare something about which to speak. They wanted to know why we're here (how we got here), what we've learned, and what God has shown us through the Word. The pastor's daughter also asked us what our favorite worship songs are. She said that they know a lot of popular songs from Hillsong, Chris Tomlin, Delirious?, and the like. I asked her if they'd ever heard of Steve Fee. They have not, sadly. But, she did ask me the names of two of his songs (two of my favorites)-- "Beautiful the Blood" and "Glorious One". She said one of the guys could find the song and learn it for us. I didn't get my hopes up for those songs because I knew either way, we'd get to sing some songs we knew and sing them in English!

We got there on Friday, and the pastor's daughter, Annie, introduced us to the guy she mentioned a week ago. His name is Clemens, and he presented us with this:

He found the the videos of Steve Fee performing these songs on YouTube, and he wrote... WROTE... the music from that. All he had were the lyrics and the guitar chords. My heart was beyond touched. That evening, they learned these two songs, and we sang a lot of other songs. We had a chance to share our testimonies and played games with the youth. It was a lot of fun.

God really knows what He's doing. He is even working when your electricity goes out for two days. :-)

Stairs, BBQ, and Berlin

2009-04-12T15:19:00.004-04:00

Where shall I start? Perhaps I'll begin with the thousands of stairs the four of us went up and down helping someone move. OK, thousands may be exaggerating a bit, but we seriously cumulatively went up and down over one thousand stairs in two days. It was a lot of fun because we were helping the lady I've talked about in previous blogs. Her ministry is the street witnessing and she has the safe house. We were helping her move from her old apartment to the safe house. Luckily, we were moving her stuff less than a block away. We certainly worked off whatever we ate from the previous two weeks.

The rest of the week was pretty uneventful. We ate dinner at the Journeygirl's place, and we prepared some gooood American food: mashed potatoes, sweet potato fries, BBQ chicken, rolls, and green bean casserole. Y.U.M.M.Y! On Friday of that week, the guy serving in Hamburg came down with his supervisor for a visit. We showed him around Dresden. He got the super abbreviated tour of Altstadt, and we drug him around Neustadt for shopping. We had already planned to do that that day, and we figured he could come along for the ride.

On Saturday, we went to Berlin!! That was amazing. Here's a slide show of the day:

Small Update

2009-04-05T15:43:00.002-04:00

Dear Reader,

I deeply apologize for the lack of update. I promise that I am alive! There's been a lot going on, and I can't seem to find the words to explain.

Here are some things for which I need prayer:

-- Leadership/ Team Building retreat April 6-10 (http://www.herr-berge.de)
-- Wisdom
-- Rest
-- Love
-- Patience
-- The kids on the street
-- Our new conversation partners (three new ones this week!!!)
-- The young Christians in Dresden
-- My supervising family-- Jason, Cheryl, Johan, Ashlyn, Caedon, and Logan
-- Sarah, Day, and Jessica (My loves/ My team)
-- Amy, the Journeygirl here in Dresden (Same as my team and I but here for 2 year instead of 5 months)

Thanks!

All my love,
Jennifer

Call to Worship: A Backstory of Jennifer Chapman

2009-03-26T11:18:00.004-04:00

"Therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe, for our God is a consuming fire." Heb 12:28-29 (ESV)

You get two posts this week. Don't forget to check out the latest Friday Chronicle!!

Please watch and listen to this song. Read the words and soak it in. Then continue on to read this post.

The more I listen, the more I learn. Ever since I have been here, God has been teaching me about worshiping Him. He's been showing me that it needs to be the priority of my heart. It's bringing Him glory, and from that I can obey Him. Throughout my life, worship has had many different meanings. Each building to what I know it as now. I find it amazing to see the journey.

When I was very young and in church or at church camp, worship was just singing songs I knew. I never understood why people raised their hands. In fact, I was quite embarrassed to even consider doing it. I had a warped sense of a lot of things because of what I was taught. I was never really challenged to question what I was taught until my church went through a radical change when I was about 12. Even then, I never understood worship. I started loving the songs and what they were saying, though.

I went through life like that until I graduated high school. My church was a very small Pentecostal-type church. I did not grow up Baptist (gasp! :-D). Once I left high school, I pretty much stopped going to church. It wasn't out of rebellion; I just was lazy. Naturally, worship fell off my radar. Little did I know that not worshiping would lead to an unexplainable darkness. We are not called to neglect gathering together to worship. Well, if I actually read my Bible, I would know that. I was lacking in all aspects of worship. I held fast to what people would call morals and values. I can't really explain why except that God refused to let me slip in that sense. He is my ultimate protector. I fully praise Him now for it, and I know why He did it. That's another story for another day.

I walked through life for a couple of years in a kind of technical Christian fog. I can't tell you how many times I prayed because I don't know if I did. I more than likely didn't crack open my Bible. Worship was non-existent for me. There was a point in my life that I realize through the grace of God that I needed Him to pull me out of this stupid mess I'd gotten myself in. There was no way I could survive living in the darkness that I was in.

Without warning, I was thrust into the light. Everything became clear. It hurt my eyes, but I could see. I was in a church at a retreat signing praises to God as I never had before. I craved it. I don't understand it to this day. From then, corporate worship took on a whole new meaning. I devoured all the teachings. God opened my heart to take Him in. He took something I was afraid and embarrassed of for most of my life and showed me how wonderful it is.

Since then, He's been fine tuning me. I've learned that worship is not about feeling good for me but for abandoning myself to praise Him. I've learned that bringing glory to His name is my purpose. Sometimes I sit all by myself wanting to go meet Him so that I can sing my heart to Him for all eternity, and I know that one day that will come true.

This experience in Germany has really opened my eyes to what worship is. It's private and intimate time with God, and it's an open expression of love for Him in front of others. Worship how you will, but never neglect it. Pour out to God what He has given you. Worship is all about glorifying God. When you glorify God, your heart becomes one with His, and His desires become yours. Only then can you truly obey Him. That's where answering the call comes in. When your heart is in line with God's, you will know His call upon your life. It may not be the big picture, in fact, it probably won't be.

This is where I am right now. Now you know why worship means so much to me. As long as you are truly worshiping God, it doesn't matter what it looks like. Don't hold back from praising God. If you worship in a big church with ultra-contemporary music or in a small church singing from a hymnal, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter what other people think of you or your style of worship. Just worship.

The Chronicles of Friday V: Night Watch

2009-03-26T10:58:00.002-04:00

“Therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe, for our God is a consuming fire.” (Heb 12:28-29 ESV)

I don't really know what to write, and it's been like this for nearly two weeks. There is so much to tell; there is so much I've learned.
For a while, I've been starting off each post with a verse from the Bible. It's always one that God has shown me that week that He's used to really teach me something. For the past two weeks, I've learned more than I thought I could possibly learn, and that makes me want to just post the the entire Bible on here. That would take up a lot of room, so I won't.
I want to start off with some prayer requests. I ask you, dear reader, to consider these with your whole heart. I know that you aren't here, but I hope that the urgency of these requests can be translated to you.
As you know, part of this mission God has sent me on is to be the light in a very dark place. I feel that the light that is Jesus Christ shines the brightest when it is the darkest. That darkest is Friday nights on the streets of Neustadt walking among the hopeless and lost who are high and drunk and searching for something. They're the ones who openly deny God, and the ones I fear and agonize over who may never be saved. It's so hard to say that, and I don't even want to think it.

There is one young man (Pyro) who feels that he can solve his own problems. He feels that he doesn't need God and that God is just here to pity him. He gets angry when we bring up God, and he changes the subject. We don't know what to say to him. He looks forward to getting drunk, and he does not understand why we don't drink or why he believe in God. We thought we were making some headway when we asked if we could pray for him, and he said yes (but didn't know if it would help). That came back fruitless from his point of view. We refuse to give up on him even if that means praying from afar. Pray that God softens his heart and makes Himself completely irresistible to him.

There is one young girl (Lila) whom I have mentioned in a couple of other posts. The Gospel has been presented to her, and now it's up to her to make the choice. We want to meet with her to talk to her and answer any questions she may have, but we haven't been able to. She has so much going on in her life, and her past is full of pain. There are a lot of things obstructing her view, and we're praying for a clear path.

We've encountered a very young man (Pat-Pat) who recently turned 17. He's usually wasted by the time we meet him on the street-- around 9 PM. He is a transvestite. I haven't really had the chance to talk to him except for the first night I met him. My heart aches for him because I want so much to see him full of life and living the life that God wants for him. I want this for all of the people we meet on the street, but my hearts even more for him because he so very young.

There is hope, though. I met two people this week how gave their lives to Christ. One is a former Neo-Nazi (Marco), and the other is a young man (Benjamin) who is (was) just like Pyro or Lila. I had the honor of witnessing Benjamin give his life to Christ. It's an amazing story.

It was a Friday night. There were some folks in doing some training relating to our mission, and some of them wanted to come out on the street with us. We did our usual prayer time before we went out, but for some reason, we didn't go straight to the street. Some of us went into a Kebap shop to get some hot tea. We sat in there for a little while, and decided to make our way to the street to see if we could find any of the people we've met before. When we got out there, we didn't see anyone we had met in the previous weeks. We spotted our supervisor, and headed over to him. He was talking to a girl with pink hair. As I looked around for a familiar face, I realized that I was nervous. I can't really say why, though. I think I felt overwhelmed at all the people. There were more out than before.
The next thing I knew, Charlotte pulled Day, Jessica, and I (at that moment, I didn't realize Sarah had gone off with the Journeygirl to search for Lila) over to this guy (Benjamin) who was clinging for dear life to her. Two of the guys from training were there with us. Charlotte said, “Pray for him. He wants to be delivered from drugs and alcohol.” The five of us gathered around Charlotte and Benjamin.
I didn't know this at the time, but we were being mocked. Benjamin was being scorned by the very people he used to call his friends. I could hear nothing except our prayers. We didn't know if he spoke English (which he does), but we prayed in English for him. I've never seen anything like it. He was standing and shaking, and he dropped to his knees, raised his hands toward Heaven and begged Jesus to save him. I could not believe the miracle I was witnessing. We took him to the safehouse so we could pray and talk. At the end of it all, he thanked us for praying for him. I wanted to thank him! I do thank HIM.

Because I am here and in it all, I cannot see it from the outside. The folks who were here for training told us that we are truly witnessing something others may never see in their stay in Western Europe. Where we thought we were tilling the soil, we've discovered we're in a harvest. It doesn't look anything like what people may think a harvest should look like, but if I am over here for just one soul, that is enough. I'm doing, seeing, and saying things I never thought I would. It's Christ in me.
In other news, we had the chance to meet with another girl (Joanna) who wants to practice her English. The way she talked about her desire to learn it and to speak it as we do made my heart leap. I feel that often times we take for granted being fluent or having English as our heart language. So many people are paying so much money to learn it. Joanna told us that the way we speak is beautiful. She's the second person we've met that has told us that something about the way we speak or the way we do things is beautiful. Caroline, the girl we met before, told us that the way we refer to ourselves (as Americans) as 'we' is refreshing. She said it shows unity, and that is a thing of beauty. It's no accident that I am over here. It's no accident that the three other girls I am working with are over here.
God placed us here for a reason. He's teaching us many things and nothing has come to late or too early. We don't understand His timing, but we've realized that His timing is so much better than ours. We're a team with God leading the way.

The Chronicles of Friday IV: Conversations

2009-03-14T11:43:00.004-04:00

“He does not ignore those who cry to him for help.” Psalm 9:12b

This week was different for us; we even had a blue sky for about 10 minutes! I want to start, though, with last Friday. I didn't get a chance to really go into detail.

On Friday, we went out on the street again. We had originally planned to just pray in the prayer room, but that never happens. Before we even got a chance to walk into the building, we saw a girl we met nearly a month before. I mentioned that experience in the first Chronicle. She remembered us from the last month, and she opened up to us more than we ever expected. She revealed some things about her past that made her lifestyle choices more understandable. We had a chance to bring up some spiritual matters with her, and she seemed a lot more open to them then before. She even allowed us to pray for and with her!

On Saturday, we went to Explosion! That's monthly meeting of a network of churches in the area. It starts with food and fellowship then goes to praying, worship, and a sermon... all in German. OK, mostly in German. People tend to speak in tongues at these things, and that makes me uncomfortable. Day, Jessica, and I left early because we didn't feel right about something. I was anxious the entire time, and I felt a sick feeling in my stomach. Sarah and the Journeygirl here stayed and witnessed a healing session.

That weekend showed us a lot about how much God loves people. Minus the Saturday night, there were several instances where people on the streets where very open and could see the light of Christ in us. We weren't without oppositions or distractions, but we have to remember that the distractions are satan and his little minions trying to pull people away from the Gospel and trying to prevent us from doing the work God so clearly wants us to do.

Now, onto this week!

We got some responses from the 'Practice English' fliers we posted last week in addition to the contacts we got from the people we've met on the street. The four of us met with a guy we met on the street. We met in a cafe near Ikea (which made me want some Swedish meatballs) and chatted. The conversation was a little strained especially when it came to spiritual matters. He wasn't very comfortable and asked to change the subject. He wants to meet with us again, but we aren't sure when we can. Please pray for him because he feels that he can solve all of his own problems. He's kind of a 'let the chips fall where they may' kind of person.

On Thursday, we had the chance to meet with a very sweet girl named Caroline. She's originally from Poland and has been in Germany for eight years. She wants to go to the US for her PhD. She was very open and very inquisitive. Jessica, Day, and I were able to answer all of her questions, and I felt this meeting was a great success. She wants to meet with us again! We also have another girl who we need to call to set up a meeting. This is all very exciting!

On Thursday evening, we met at the Journeygirl's place to have dinner and meet some of her friends. There were 12 people there, and 8 countries were represented! Isn't that so cool! The countries were: Germany, Scotland, Canada, Singapore, China, Malaysia, France, and the US. We got to talk to the guy from Scotland, and we compared the US and the UK. That was a lot of fun. We joked about how much better our spellings of words are. It was a great night.

Unfortunately, I was feeling really sick on Friday, so I could not go out. There are some interesting stories involving vomit... maybe it's best I was sick. An encouraging thing out of that was that two of the girls we've met in weeks past were more open than ever.

As you are praying, here are some very specific things for which you can pray:

-- Pray the God will glorify Himself among all the people of all the nations.

-- Pray for international students in Western countries (especially the US) to come to know Christ so they can spread the Good News back home.

-- Pray for the leaders of nations.

-- Pray the God will send laborers to the field.

-- Pray that the Church will see the world as God sees it.

-- Pray for Sarah's mom as she is dealing with some health issues. She is starting treatment after she gets back home from visiting Sarah this week. Pray that God will be glorified through all of this and that Sarah and her family will have great peace. Pray for healing for her mom.

-- Pray that Sarah's mom and Day's mom and sister have an uneventful flight over here.

On a lighter note, check out my teammate, Day's, blog for a funny story and some differences we've noticed between home and here!
Thank you for all your prayers and encouragement!

Love,

Jennifer

The God of THIS City: Dresden

2009-03-08T11:10:00.002-04:00

"He renews my strength. He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to HIS name." Psalm 23:3

God loves Dresden. He aches with all the loves He possesses to see it turn from its evil ways and turn to Him. How can I be so sure of this? Let me tell you a story.

As most of you know, I rarely lack the words to tell a story. However, recently, I haven't really been able to put into words what's been going on here. I've been able to find little words like discouraged, useless, angry, and broken to describe how I feel, and I've haven't been able to find words to describe what God's been doing in the city. I've been focusing so much on what I've been feeling that I've been blind to the works that God is so obviously doing.

Those words I used to describe how I'm feeling are words that the enemy has been whispering into my ear so that I will believe that nothing in going on. If nothing was going on, why would satan be so adamant about making me and my team feel useless and broken? Why would he be trying to tear us apart at the seams and render us useless? Why would he be trying to slander the names of hard-working Christians in this city if God wasn't doing something here? Why would he make us focus on ourselves instead of the glory of the Father in heaven who created everything?!

Despite the fact that whenever say something is happening and the enemy attacks harder, I am going to say it: something big is going to happen here. I may never see it, but God is using me and my team right now. We are going to focus on glorifying God's name and let Him do the rest. There is nothing we can do apart from Him.

My team and our sanity and unity has been hit hard. The enemy uses every nit-picking thing to drive us apart. He'll convince us that prayer walking is useless. He'll convince us that our prayers in general are useless. He'll convince the innocent that we're worthless even with the Spirit of God living inside us. We have to recognize these attacks and pray even harder.

We've continued with street witnessing, and God has been working. We saw some of the people we saw the first time, and they seemed more open. We even got contact information for some of them because them wanted to practice English with us! We've been praying for God to send people to us so that we can start developing relationships.

Things may never fully calm down in the spiritual realm, but I know that I my God will protect me. I must pray the armor of God everyday-- several times a day. I encourage you to do the same. (Ephesians 6:10-18)

Thank you, reader, for your prayers and encouragement.

Auf Englisch, bitte.

2009-03-01T10:42:00.002-05:00

"You can make many plans, but the Lord's purpose will prevail." Proverbs 19:21 NLT
“Don't brag about tomorrow, since you don't know what the day will bring.” Proverbs 27:1 NLT

I realized this a while back, but I really learned it this week. Jessica downloaded a sermon from her church back in Georgia, and we had the chance to listen to it. I also downloaded one of Pastor Johnny's sermons, and we listened to it as well. (The sermon on God's love from Feb/22. I highly recommend it.) Here's what I learned: I have taken for granted being able to understand a sermon and worshiping in my heart language. (Usually, your first language. I like to think of it as the language you hear and your heart skips a beat if you haven't heard it in a while.) I love going to church at Woodstock because the worship and the message have yet to do anything but drive me closer to my God. I leave that place knowing that the God I serve is all I need.

My charge to you is this: Never take for granted being able to worship God in your heart language. Since I have been over here, I have had to learn to feed myself through listening to worship music on my iPod, reading my Bible multiple times a day, and listening to sermons off of iTunes. That way, I can walk into that German Baptist Church every Sunday morning and appreciate that these people are hearing the truth. Despite the fact that I cannot understand most of what is being said, I can understand that they are worshiping the same God I am in their heart language. It takes the focus off of me and my self-pity. It's not all about me and whether or not I can understand what's going on in church. It's all about the people I see everyday who are going to hell unless I allow God make me usable for His glory.

The Chronicles Continue: Logorrhea

2009-02-22T10:30:00.005-05:00

“Though they stumble, they will not fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand.” Psalm 37:24

This past week flew by, and it's not even finished. Thank God!
We prayer walked the University in Dresden this week. We think we found the building where they teach English, and we wanted to get some information. However, the office for International Students was closed. I hope to go back out there when it is open, and see if I can talk to someone. My team and I feel like we can really do some work on that campus. We want to start an English club or something like that.
The campus is pretty cool. There are a lot of old buildings. It seemed pretty friendly, too. Despite the cold, there were people walking around and looking happy (for the most part). Sarah made an astute observation that unlike schools in the States, most of the students ate in the cafeteria not in the restaurants sprinkled throughout the campus.
It snowed every day this week. It was pretty cool, but it was also pretty cold. (Haha... Look at me being all witty with words.) Today, it snowed pretty hard this morning, but it warmed up a little, and it turned into rain. When I say warmed up, I mean like a half degree above freezing. It turned from snow and ice to rain and slush. It's pretty icky outside.
The main thing that happened this week was a huge breakthrough with our team. These first three weeks in Dresden were difficult. We've been allowing the enemy a foothold on us and what we've been trying to do. It finally got to a point where we realized that we couldn't allow this to happen. God really did a huge work in us, and we've declared that the next four months are going to be the greatest four months of our lives. Thank you for praying.
I've also discovered that there is a shop here that sells purple ink for fountain pens. It's the little things, you know! What other discoveries have I made? There is a shop called Der Euro Shop which is pretty much a dollar store. No matter what the culture, children are loud. Germans make really good pizza. The different states in Germany have school breaks scheduled for different weeks. That way the country won't shut down because everyone's on break. Smart, eh?
I also wonder why we don't do this-- take off our shoes when we enter a house? It makes sense especially in Georgia with our signature red clay... that comes out of nothing. Around meal times, there are carts everywhere selling various food stuffs. Germans like to eat outside and standing up no matter what the weather. They're kind of like postal workers in that sense. :-) There are several shopping centers all very close to one another. It's like a mega mall. I think my sister would like it very much.
Last Friday (13/Feb), the anniversary of the bombing of Dresden, we went to the Frauenkirche for a memorial service. It lasted about an hour. There was a great choir and a couple of speakers one of whom was a former POW. He was very anti Neo-Nazi. I had no idea what they were saying, but Jason and Amy translated. Well, I caught some things like numbers... and numbers. Yeah. Anyway, it was still cool. Before the service, they rang the bells for the duration of the attack. There's no way to describe it, really. It is hard to believe that in that short amount of time, 2-3 min I think, that the city was up in flames.

[I pray that the reason Dresden is famous is no longer the bombs and the great fire and the death, but the life and victory so generously poured out by God. I pray that the churches in this place become God's churches and not museums or empty shells of what the Church is meant to be.]

On Saturday (14/Feb-- Valentine's Day), we played hide and go hide. No seek. OK, that was lame. Sorry. But, really-- we hid all day. From whom were we hiding? Oh, the Neo-Nazis. They always come out to protest the peacefulness of any kind of memorials for the bombings. They're mean like that. (Unlike my supervisor who is NOT mean because he did not make us get up early on Thursday to go to the Visa office to get our Visa. He also drove over and delivered my package when he really didn't have to! Thanks!!) So, we holed ourselves up in our supervisor's house and watched movies, played games, ate weird pizza, talked, and watched the snow. I think we also bought some eis (ice cream. That could have been Sunday).
I keep going back and forth in my week, but a lot actually did happen. On Tuesday (17/Feb), we had our first German lesson with a sweet old lady from church. She's 86. Eighty-six. She's lived in Germany most of her life. She took a brief break from it in the 80's when she went to live with one of her daughters in Australia. She drew maps during the war (WWII). I wonder if she was in Dresden at the time of the bombings. She is so full of life and interesting stories! What else? Oh! She's learning how to play the piano. She's 86 and learning to play the piano. So, no excuses for anyone saying you're too old to start something new.
This week we also helped celebrate a new believer's birthday (18/Feb). From what I understand, it is the first birthday in a long time that she's celebrated sober. She felt that she didn't matter enough to have her birthday celebrated, but we hope that we helped her understand otherwise. She got a study Bible for her birthday, and she is so proud of it. I've never seen anyone protect or handle a Bible like she did. It makes me wonder why I don't do the same. It is, after all, God's love letter to humanity.
We also had the chance to share the Gospel with a girl from the Journeygirl's language class (17/Feb). We watched a Jesus film with her (not The Jesus Film. It was from the Gospel of Luke) and hopefully clearly explained it to her. Her heart language is Japanese. She knows a some English and some German. Crazy, right? She was completely amazed at the miracles Jesus performed again making me wonder why I don't gasp every time I read The Bible. I believe she understood. She was touched and excited that the Journeygirl is working on getting her a Japanese Bible. It is on the way, so please pray that it gets here before she leaves Germany later this coming week. Also pray that her heart is open to what is doing in her. She's 21 years old, and this is the first time she's even heard the Gospel. Can you imagine that?
We grew up in a culture where even if you don't believe the Gospel, you've at least heard it more than once (quite possible hundreds and hundreds of times). Now, I live in a culture where they're taught the Gospel is outdated. They're tired of hearing about it; they don't believe that it's of any use to them. It's heartbreaking.
However, this verse gives me hope:
The Sovereign Lord will show you His justice to the nations of the world. Everyone will praise Him! His righteousness will be like a garden in early spring, filled with young plants springing up from everywhere. Jeremiah 61:11
I've already been a witness to this. C's ministry is like the fertile soil with the young plants springing up from everyone. It's a sight to behold.
Last night (Friday 20/Feb), we went out to Neustadt. This witnessing thing is still brand new to me. I'm still learning about the many facets of street witnessing. I'm sure some of you who know me pretty well will be shocked at what you are about to read. There were 11 of us- 5 girls, 6 guys. 7 Americans, 5 Germans. We gathered in a circle and read from the 1 John. We took turns reading a chapter each in German and English. I read chapter 4. I was scared out of my mind when we went down there because I had no idea what was going on or why we were doing this. Once it started, there were some amazing things that happened.
Whenever we got to a part about Jesus being the Savior of man or about Him being the Son of God, something would happen. It was usually a loud distracting noise like a big delivery truck or some group of drunk teenagers screaming. Once, a dog ran through our circle and a man in a wheelchair came through us. The enemy was doing everything in his power trying to get us to stop proclaiming the truth in his territory. We weren't screaming at anyone or throwing The Bible down their throats. I feel that we were claiming that area for God. Rather, He was using us to claim that area for Himself.
After the first chapter, a drunk young man came into our circle. He listened for a second and pointed to the guy reading in German and said, “Der Bibel!” (That's German drunkard for The Bible. It's actually die Bibel.) I am not sure exactly what was said between this young man and the guy who took him aside to chat. All I know is that he listened to almost the entire letter, and he was very excited when I started reading in English.
It started sprinkling while we were reading. 1 John is now crinkly, and it serves as a reminder for that night. I don't know what came over me after that experience, but I literally ran up several flights of stairs feeling only the burn in my legs at the last set.
Unfortunately, we did not see our friends from two Fridays ago. We're still praying for them, though.
After all of that, a group of us went to this really cool place. The Germans kept calling it a non-alcoholic bar. I guess that was pretty accurate. They served all kinds of mixed drinks sans alcohol along with coffees and a little bit of food. It was VERY inexpensive. I got a good mug of Mandelkaffee (almond coffee) for 80 Euro cents. It was a great time of fellowship. We talked (somewhat loudly, of course. Americans aren't the only ones who are loud, by the way!), laughed a lot, and even had some German and English lessons sprinkled throughout the evening. What it comes down to is that God answered a prayer I prayed before I came. He answered it in a huge way.

All my love!

Jennifer

The Chronicles of Friday II: Flashback

2009-02-14T03:24:00.004-05:00

Friday, February 13, 1945 22:13

Dreden was changed forever on that day.

Dresden before the bombing
To quote my supervisor:

One of the hardest moments to swallow in American/ Ally history is the
decision to obliterate the city of Dresden at the end of World War 2. The city
was designated as the seat of post war government by the ally forces. It was
also a main center of the Red Cross for the area. It was a cultural treasure of
Baroque architecture and art with little strategic military importance. It was
the destination for countless refugees fleeing the advance of the Red
Army.
Taking all that into consideration, the heads of Allied forces decided that
a “show of strength” was needed to quickly bring the end of the war. They
ordered the repeated bombing of the city with 3,900 tons of explosives and
firebombs, killing tens of thousands of people, mostly refugees and civilians.
The raids were designed to be about 3 hours apart, so that the second would come
as the fires from the first raid were being fought. The attacks created fires so
intense, that the updraft pulled everything in surrounding areas, people
included, into the fire.
Not a proud moment in the fight against the great evil
of the Twentieth Century. It sometimes makes it hard to see who the good guys
were, as is often the case in war. Today, many people try to use the history of
these attacks to defend the racist philosophies that cased the war in the first
place. The Germans living in Dresden have a good argument against that. They say
that the Neo-Nazis are arguing from forgetfulness, revenge, and hate.
Instead, they remind people that the bombing of Dresden was caused by the German aggression against freedom and democracy in the first place, and that the story
is a good reminder of the evils of extreme politics and war that everyone in the
world should remember and heed.

Dresden after the bombing

With that said, here is some lighter news. I've officially applied for my Visa. You aren't supposed to smile with your teeth showing for the picture. We all went to get our pictures taken, and the girl told me that I could smile a little. Thinking I was doing that, I got my picture taken. The result: Mean Deer in the Headlights. That's right. There's no turning back. The redeeming quality of that is that my hair looks really good. My teammates' pictures are just as great. It was a funny day for pictures. The day after, we had to get up to be at the Visa office at 8am so there wouldn't be any waiting. Well, didn't have to. Jason made us because he's mean.

The Chronicles of Friday

2009-02-08T07:28:00.005-05:00

“Ask me and I will tell you some remarkable secrets about what it going to happen here.” Jeremiah 33:3

I'm sorry that my posts have been slightly sporadic. It's not that I haven't had the time to write, I just haven't really been able to find the words. So much has been going on.

Let me start with Friday, Feb 6. For the past two Fridays, we've been doing this thing called Kid's Club. I'm not sure exactly what goes on because I can't understand most of what they say. But, I do know that it's for kids of all ages to come and have a safe place on Friday afternoons. There are songs, games, and a lesson. Oh, and a clown. Yeah. A clown. It's usually one of the workers, but still... a clown.

The four of us head out. The tram is unusually packed; it reminded me of an afternoon in Paris. It was a little unsettling, but I didn't really think anything of it. We're going on our merry way, and we get off to transfer trams, and that one is packed, too. At our transfer point, the screen that shows the stops goes completely insane and jumps ahead about seven stops. Weird.

We're almost to where we need to get off, and literally out of nowhere, there are ambulances, probably some fire trucks, and a helicopter. The tram stops, and a lady gets on (a transport official) and starts yelling at everyone. It was in German of course, so it sounded a lot worse than I'm sure it actually was. None of us could even gather what was going on. After she yelled at everyone, about 75% of the people got off. You'd think we would have gotten a clue, but we didn't. The tram was stopped for a few minutes, then a man came over the intercom and yelled (I'm sure he wasn't yelling, but it sounded like it.) something about a dog and the number 12 (our tram number). There was a lady with a dog, and she got off, but there was another lady with a dog who didn't get off. So, we were further confused. The four of us were about to get off when the tram started, so we thought otherwise.

The tram took a sharp turn, which wasn't normal, but we were hoping we'd get to where we needed to go. We were wrong. We realized this when the stop names weren't on our regular route, and we saw the tram stop posts that has a different line number on it. We deduced (because we are so smart) that the 12 had been rerouted to the 2 line. We got off at a random stop and walked back to the point where the 12 was rerouted then we decided to walk to our destination. I don't know how far it was-- maybe 1 or 2 miles. No matter, we were an hour late.

We had to leave Kid's Club early because we had to meet up with Charlotte. I thought she wanted to meet with us early to talk with us to see where we were in our spiritual walk or something like that, but that's not what happened. All we did was climb up a million and a half stairs to her apartment to pretty much turn around and leave to climb up more stairs to get to the prayer room. The prayer room is located over the Purple Haze.

I guess it would be prudent to tell you why we're praying or at least why we thought we were praying. On Friday nights, Charlotte does this thing called Night Watch. In essence, it's street witnessing. I must be completely honest to tell you that I've never done anything like that, and it scared me to think about doing it. It scared me mainly because I know that the part of town we live in is a big party scene.

We go up to the prayer room, and slowly other Christian Germans start trickling in to pray and worship. It turns into a big prayer session for the people in the room to be healed and such. Charlotte figured that we can't effectively witness if we aren't healed ourselves. I'm sitting on a very uncomfortable stool trying to figure out how to pray for these people I don't know, and I am trying to figure out how to block out the tongues I am hearing. I am very uncomfortable despite the Biblical way they went about it. That's another story for another day.

So, on my uncomfortable stool, I am sitting. I start to pray quite selfishly about how much I am scared about witnessing and how much I really didn't want to do it. Then, I start praying for my team among other things. As we're praying, some music is thrown in here and there. We are finally winding down, and Charlotte decides that she's far too tired to witness that evening, and she invited us all to her house for tea and food. Unbelievably relieved, we all head up to her place.

About an hour or hour and a half later, Charlotte announces that she's rested, and she wants to head down to the street to prayer walk a strip of it and to see what happens. I glanced apprehensively at one of my teammates, and I was thankful I wasn't the only one who wanted to go home and go to bed. We washed the dishes, suited up (that's what you have to do when it's cold all the time), and headed outside. I didn't know what to expect, but I did know that it would be weird for six people to walk around the party street appearing to not do anything.

The second we rounded the corner, (according to the Journeygirl, Amy) there was one young man who saw us, screamed “CHRISTIANS!”, and ran off screaming as if he were in pain. Amy thought he was possessed. We were standing on the sidewalk, and a lady on a bike who knows Charlotte rode up. At that point, screaming guy came running up to us. He said, “Bist du Christians?” which means, “Are you Christians?” Charlotte told him we only speak English, and as he was walking away, she told him to stay because we wanted to talk to him. Needless to say, I was a little freaked out. Before I knew it, we were surrounded by Germans. All of whom were drunk, high, both, or close to any of the above.

Day and I were talking to a girl who was interested in the fact that we were Americans and could speak English. We breached the topic of God when she first came over. That was weird because how did she know? Her first words to us were, “I believe in You.” She even lifted her arms and looked up. Day asked her if she believed, and her immediate response was a disgusted 'no'. When asked what she did believe in, she told us that she believed in her mother. We talked for a long time about America, and we danced around the topic of why we're here.

As we were talking with this girl, several people approached us. I will admit that I was uneasy the entire time until the end. I could feel the presence of evil all around us, and I could sense in the girl to whom we were talking that she was so close and so far away. I was shaking from it all. The random people that kept approaching us made me even more nervous. Germans don't have an issue with personal space, by the way. I was praying hard the entire time for God to protect all of us from evil and to protect us from personal violation.

Of the people who came to talk to us, were two of the girl's brothers and another guy she seemed to know pretty well. We found out that one of her brothers used to drink a lot, but he found no use for it, so now he drinks only a little. It was getting to a point where I was starting to feel more and more unsettled, and I couldn't figure out why.

Out of nowhere, Charlotte came back and asked the people if we could pray for them. I felt in sense that my cover was blown, but I guess it's not what I think, is it? She told them (in German... I think. I say that because I could understand what she was saying and so could they.) that we are Americans in Germany, and we don't drink or smoke or do drugs, and we live a fulfilling life. Then, she told them why, and that why is God. The girl we were talking to seemed to be completely against the idea, and she even mocked us.

However, the three guys we were talking to actually seemed pleased with the idea. One guy said he didn't have anything we could pray for, one told us that he needs a job, and the last told us that he wanted to find true love. True love. If that isn't a cry for Jesus, I don't know what is. We gathered in a circle and pray for them. Charlotte then got their numbers, and went over to one of the guys we prayed for and said that she could feel that he would work for her one day.

As we walked back to Amy's apartment, we talked about our experiences. She told us about the two people she, Jessica, and Sarah talked to and prayed for. One of them was the first guy we encountered. All I know is that despite the fact that he was so high and drunk, he seemed to be sobered by the fact that they wanted to pray for him. A lady friend of his came over and was also quite receptive of the offer of prayer.

I didn't quite understand what my purpose was that night because the people we were talking to were all over the place, and a lot of random (and a little scary) people kept coming up to ask. They were trying to get us to say stuff in German, but Day and I knew they trying to get us to say awful things. Amy told us that the reason so many people kept coming up to us was that we were running interference since the conversation they were having with their guy and girl was quite obviously of God. The enemy was trying to distract from that, but that's where Day and I came it. We intercepted all the people who would have distracted the conversation otherwise. Even though it was frustrating to begin with, I found it quite cool how God uses all of His servants if only they're willing. Even though He doesn't need us, He decided to use the five of us that night. We may never know the impact we'll have on those people, but God was definitely moving.

As you continue to pray for Dresden, please pray for these young people as God moves through them. I feel that if they open themselves to the Spirit and allow Him to heal them, they can be amazing witnesses to the youth in the city. I am sad to say that the part of town in which I live attracts party people as lost as the youth we encountered that Friday. However, if only one of the guys we encountered on Friday turns his life over to God, I am confident that person will do everything in his power to get his friends to see the light. Neustadt (New City) is the part of town where I live. Only God can truly make it a New City. I hope that just a little of the ache I feel for Dresden reaches your heart so that you can pray with ferocity for this city.

Mir ist kalt!!

2009-02-05T13:40:00.004-05:00

“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." Romans 12:12

Ministry has a lot of workers doing different things. My team, we're tilling the ground. We're not planting seeds. As much as I don't like the gardening metaphor, it works. Most understand it even if you didn't grow up around agriculture.

My team and I have officially started our ministry this week, and that's prayer walking and spiritual mapping of the city. I can already tell it's going to be hard work, but everything has to start with prayer. Dresden needs prayer, too. Today, Jessica and I were prayer walking, and we came across a huge teacher strike. It was almost like a parade except there were police and the strikers jammed up a tram line. I won't pretend to know what they were striking for or against or where they were going or what they were hoping to get out of it, but I do know this-- where are all those children whom they're supposed to be teaching? Did anyone think about them? That was a big prayer for today: the schools and children in Dresden. There is so much pressure on the children to choose a career path at such an early age.

I want to thank you again for all your prayers. They are greatly appreciated and greatly needed. As you pray for me, please continue to pray for my team, Jessica, Sarah, and Day. Pray that everything we say and do is for the glory of God and nothing less. Pray that we are humble and quite in spirit. Pray that we are true women of the God-- princesses to the King.

The four of us have managed to run into a good bit of discouragement since we left Paris for Dresden. It started the day we left Paris with nearly every team running into something weird like lost train tickets, forgotten reservations, or blocks from Immigration. Travel agents seemed to be saying one thing and the people at the airlines or train stations said something else. Immigration has successfully blocked two of our teams from getting in, and they just received their new assignments.

We got to the airport in Paris (which is the most confusing airport ever built) at about 2 and our flight was scheduled to leave at 3:20. That’s pushing it when you have 4 girls, 3 of which have 2 check bags (I only had one bag). We hustled our way from the parking garage to check in our bags. We were all praying SO hard since we had been forewarned that they were only allowing 1 check bag on the flights. We should’ve been allowed 2 because our flight to Dresden was supposedly a continuation of the first flights leaving the States. When we got up to the desk, the woman said the rule was 1 check bag, but after Terry talked to her for a minute, she said she would go talk to her supervisor. We had been praying all morning for a person of good will to help us at the airport so that we could check in 2 bags. When she came back, she told us that only ONE check bag was allowed, no matter our circumstance. So Terry (coordinator for W. Europe) turned around and said, “So, what are we going to do?” Jessica had the most baggage and therefore the biggest problem. We checked all of our luggage as it was at first and after weighing it all, it would have cost 460 Euros for all the extra luggage! The woman who was helping us with our baggage slowly grew nicer and nicer (thanks to all the prayers and God’s heart-warming power!) and finally said we could have 2 bags if the total weight added up to 24 kg. It was lucky that Sarah and Day were only 14 pounds over each. After scrambling, the three girls left various items from pants and PJ's to shampoo and face wash in Paris. They put all their stuff in boxes provided by us, and Terry is going to leave the boxes at his house for them to get back from him when we return to Paris. Jessica was sadly around 30 lbs over so she had to leave a LOT behind and still had to pay an extra 120 Euros extra because we ran out of time to unload stuff. The line behind us was getting insanely long. The Devil and his advocates were working there hardest to make it difficult for us. We were pushing for time so we all RAN to get our stuff scanned and get on the plane. I, of course, set off the alarm when I walked through the security scanner thing. So, I got a good old fashioned French pat down. Not pleasant. Canadians are a lot less, uhm, violating.

...
The most amazing thing to watch was how the girl's (the girl behind the counter) heart progressively softened toward us. I wonder what she saw in us and if it had any kind of lasting impression. We were calm (ish)-- not yelling or anything like that. We were kind and not angry. I think we were at different places, but I believe we all had a kind of peace about it.

Then, when we got here, we found out that some of the conveniences we expected wouldn't be so convenient. Unfortunately, we let that get the better of us the first few days. We realized that we were uneasy and grumpy about it for no good reason. We didn't come over here to be catered to. Once we realized our selfishness, things got a lot better. It's amazing what can happen when you think about yourself and wallow in self pity.

I found this to be quite funny, but I can see where it could be discouraging. We pretty much locked ourselves out of our apartment yesterday. If there is a key in the lock on the inside, you can't use a key on the outside to lock it or unlock it. So, when I tried to lock the door, I realized that we couldn't turn the key. Our door can only be opened with a key from the outside. As we were trying to figure out what to do, our landlady came out of her apartment and tried to help us. Thankfully, she spoke enough English to get across what she was trying to say and to understand us. I don't think if any of us knew even a little German, we could have thought enough to use it. She told us that it would be about 1.5 hours before anyone could even come out to try and get out door open. If that didn't happen, we'd have to call the locksmith and pay 50€ for it. We went on our merry way to do some prayer walking all the while trying to contact our supervisor. To make this story short(er), our supervisor never really got in touch with our landlady for an update. Our landlady finally contacted us and told us we'd have to call the locksmith. We found out that our supervisor and his wife actually did the same thing we did. (Welcome to the 'We've done that!' club.) Jessica and I were sitting and talking in McDonalds on Prager Strasse (Prague Street) when we got a call from Day and Sarah telling us they'd gotten in! Sarah pretty much batter rammed the door with her person and got the door open. Even though that sounds unsafe, the door would not have flown open if it were deadlocked. So, we're cool. Sarah saw that as an answer to a prayer, and she was greatly encourage. :-)

I know these things seem small, but they can really add up or seem larger if you're in a place you don't know very well doing something you've never really done before. Besides all of this, we've had spotted contact with the other teams about where they're going since the UK is off limits. We found out they're denying missionary visas. Please pray for that. I don't know how to ask better, but it's quite obvious the enemy is attacking hard.

As I mentioned before, two teams were denied entry into the UK. One team is going to Spain and the other is going to Portugal! Isn't that so cool? On a more selfish note, all of the teams will get to say goodbye together at debriefing! Originally, the two UK teams would debrief in the UK because they were staying longer than the rest of us.

All of this was to say again, please pray for us. Prayer walking is tough stuff. It's hard to feel accomplished when you may not see anything or when you feel physically exhausted. We know it's hard and that it has to be done. We want to make sure we're seeing what needs to been seen and prayed for.

The purpose of us being here is to glorify God.

Catch up and Some Pictures

2009-01-30T16:17:00.005-05:00

Hey, Everyone!

Here's a for real update. It's been so busy and crazy that I really haven't had a breath. OK, that's a lie. I just haven't really been able to gather my thoughts for a blog. So, here's what I wrote off and on for a couple of days:

**Monday, January 19 12:34 pm (that's cool!)

It hasn't hit me yet. I'm sitting at the gate in Atlanta, and it still hasn't hit me. People are coming out of the gate which means my plane is here, and it still hasn't hit me! Maybe once I see the Eiffel Tower, it will sink in. Maybe.

I'm not nervous at all. God is so amazing. I cannot even fathom His greatness as I sit here waiting to go on this amazing adventure He has scripted for me. What's more is that He's actually allowing me to do it. The God of this universe, the God who created the stars and knows them by name, the God who knows the very number of hairs on my head, loves me. He loves me so much. I can't help but smile at that.

If you're reading this, more than likely you know me personally. This is for you:

Thank you. It's two simple words with such profound meaning. I cannot thank you enough for making this possible. I know that God is my everything, but He decided to bless me with an abundance of people to love and who love me. If none of you believed in me, I wouldn't be where I am. I wish I could tell each of you the impact you have had on my life-- the kind of impact that matters. In one way or another, you have helped me grow in my walk with God.

There are times in my life that I look back on, but I can't really see. I can remember where I came from for the sake of telling people the impact Christ has had on my life, but the times I can remember the best are the times after Christ blessed me with the friends that I have as a result of the BCM and First Woodstock. Of course, my family has always been there in the trenches with me, but as you know, there were dark times. Since Christ pulled me from the dark, my relationships with you, dear family, has gotten so much sweeter. I praise my King for all of you.

**Wednesday, January 21, 2008 (11:35pm)

Ah. Paris. I hope you enjoyed the pictures of the view from the top of the Eiffel Tower. This city is not what I was expecting. First of all, I was expecting snow. It's just cold. That's better than hot, I say. With all the running around we're doing, it would be miserable if it were hot... not to mention smelly.

We've done a lot in just two days here. Our first day, we got a very quick orientation of the public transportation system. Very quick. Then, we grabbed some lunch at a Turkish shop and ate these amazing sandwiches. Then, we hopped on the Metro (subway) and made our way to the Eiffel Tower!

*****This is where I stopped typing because my computer died, and I forgot to keep going. All of my days in Paris have completely run together. I remember what we did, but I don't remember the days. We went to Notre Dame one day and sat in on a mass. We walked around the city several times doing things like prayer walking and observing the different people groups in Paris.

Note: When I say we, I mean the other Hands On missionaries.

We had a week long orientation full of seminar type thingies, trying new foods (I tried liver pâté... yeah.), seeing Paris, bonding, and learning more and more about the needs around Western Europe.

When you pray for me, please don't just pray for me. Keep my fellow missionaries in your prayers, too. They are scattered all over Western Europe doing a variety of things. Currently, we're in Germany, France, Italy, Spain, and Belgium. We were supposed to have two teams go to the UK, but they are currently in Paris because of new Immigration regulations. They seem to be doing really well despite this discouraging situation, but I know that God will be fully glorified though it all.

There are 21 of us total. Four of us are in Dresden-- Me, Day, Jessica, and Sarah.

Here are some pictures of where I'll be living for the next few months!

Paris!!

2009-01-29T15:35:00.001-05:00

Tiny Update

2009-01-26T11:07:00.001-05:00

Hi, Everyone!!

I am so sorry for the lack of communication!

I promise to post pictures and more of my adventures in Paris soon.

I am in Dresden, and it is gorgeous!

All my love,
j

If I Don't Go, Who Will?

2008-12-22T13:03:00.001-05:00

Here am I, Send Me

Drew Cline

Posted via email from jennifer's posterous

for real

2008-12-22T00:47:00.001-05:00

It's real. I'm going to Germany. No, I haven't just figured this out. Yes, it has just started in sink in. I leave in less than a month. I am in the painful process of moving. I'm tired, and I am trying not think about how much I am going to miss my friends and family (biological, chosen, and church). I know that I cannot do this, but God can. I just have to fully realize that. I also think that I have, for some odd reason, reverted back to Pacific Time. That's probably not good. I'll figure it out.

Please continue to pray for me as all of this sets in. I am still in kind of a fog or daze or whatever. Not spiritually but mentally, perhaps? As in, I still am in slight denial about this whole thing. It's almost like an out of body experience. I can feel myself hovering over me screaming that I'm going to Germany, and my body is shaking its head saying, "Nope! What are you talking about?" Of course, when they come back together, mind wins, and I freak a little.

I know deep within me that God is in control. I am not doing this; God is. But, the human in me wants to completely spaz and cry. But, the Jesus in me tell me that everything will be perfect. I think I should listen more to my light in the dark world than me... the dark. Don't you? It helps that all of this is going on around Christmas. I am serious in saying that. I am constantly reminded of why I am going... for God. He humbled Himself and became a man. A God Man. Perfectly human and perfectly God. He dwelt among us and showed us how to live, then He (completely sinless) died a sinner's death only to conquer the grave to ultimately bring glory to God but to also save us from eternity without God. He died for me, so I work for Him. It's as simple as that. You ask me why I am going and I will give you this answer: I go because God called me, otherwise, I have no idea.

It's all up to Him. My life is His, and I think that's pretty cool. I don't have to worry about a thing as long as I serve Him. I had a choice to give up right to choose. But, I am not angry that God controls me. He knows me better than I know myself, and He will do whatever he wants to bring glory to Him, and you know what that is???? TO LOVE ME!! Yes! He loves me! The God who created everything loves me. It's breathtaking and romantic and beautiful and awe-inspiring. I'll do whatever it takes.

Some advice: Don't ask-- How far is too far? Ask this-- How far am I willing to go to please my God?

Give it up. Stop trying to control your life. I'm not saying that I have it all figured out or that I always let God control me. Technically, He does, but I still manage to try and fight it and make myself miserable. But, I know from experience how God can change a person. He changed me. Perhaps I'll tell you someday on this blog. I tend to start a lot of things at once. I'm currently reading four books, and I have two or three writing projects going. What I want to do-- more like what I feel like I need to do is to finally write my story. I will share it one day, and you'll get glimpses of it as I go along because I am sure that I will be forced to examine myself more and more as I prepare for Germany and as I work in Germany.

I also wanted to let you know that the state of my heart is pretty amazing. Thanks for your concerns and prayers. God knows what He's doing, and I love Him all the more. I hope to never stop learning and discovering. I never want to stop improving.

Dear reader, seek Him with all of your heart. Give Him your troubles, hopes, and dreams. Delight yourself in Him. Become like Him, and you will be amazed at how He makes you whole.

Posted via web from jennifer's posterous

A Confession

2008-12-12T23:47:00.001-05:00

Dear Friend,

I had a breakthrough of sorts tonight. It hurt a lot, but I'll be OK. I have been searching hard for a God moment, but I was looking in all the wrong places. I was looking for something to happen with certain people or for a situation to work out exactly how I wanted it. I wasn't living in the present; I was living for the future, and that's dumb. We aren't guaranteed tomorrow, so you must live for today. I had a feeling something huge was going to happen this week. It did. It wasn't what I wanted. Like I said, it hurt a lot, but what's coming out of it is far better than what I wanted.

I was being selfish. I was not thinking about God. Well, I was, but I was putting Him in my box. He really has His way to get the focus back on Him. My poor little heart was broken, and it is all for Him. I don't blame God because He showed me how much I really need Him. I have a feeling it's a glimpse into how I will have to fall into His arms in Germany. There are some things I cannot explain because I have no clue what it's about. I cannot explain some thing because some things just need to be left unsaid. All I know is that God loves me, and all I want to do is serve Him. All I want is to be broken to the point where I can only rely on Him to get me through. That way, He is in control of my life, and His best for me really will happen. I don't want control. All I manage to do is get myself hurt. I get tunnel vision in the worst way, and He knows that. He also knows how to blow up the tunnel.

I learned tonight that I really cannot rely on people to make me fully happy. I know that God made us relational, but we can't get our happiness from people. People are fallen. That includes me. I can't even make myself happy. I'm my own worst enemy and critic most of the time. Actually, happiness is fleeting. I need and want contentment in life. That's feeling joy no matter the crap that goes on around you. This evening, I took a big dose of sick to learn that. I made myself physically ill because of my tunnel vision... because I relied on a person to make me happy... because I was lying to myself that God was in control. He made me a promise, and that should have been it. Instead, I have manipulated a lot things kind of passive aggressively. There are other more aggressive things I could have done that could have gotten me a lot more hurt.

Even when I tried to control the situation, God still was (is) all powerful and helped me avoid getting my heart ripped to shreds. I still have hope and faith in His promise, but I won't be concentrating on it. It's not what I need to be working for. God is what I need to be working for. I need to live in His love and accept His grace. There is nothing I can do to earn His favor or blessings. Really, life is a blessing. I am victorious.

Here's to a healing, wounded heart--
Jennifer

Posted via web from jennifer's posterous

An attempt

2008-12-08T11:34:00.002-05:00

*** I have the feeling something huge is about to happen. I can't explain it; I just know it. Please pray that I remain hopeful, faithful, and patient as I wait. ***

For me, the worst thing that could happen is writer's block. Well, in reference to writing-- not just in general. I usually get some kind of block when I am writing a paper, but I usually just get it for a short time. It usually comes when I am trying to write that last page of a 10 page paper. It's pretty much fluff after page 5, but if I extend it to 10 pages, it's crap. Thus, my dilemma. It usually works itself out in the end. However, whenever I post to my blog, I can find my words, hone in on a topic or two and go. Not since my birthday have I been able to write. That's why you're getting this. I've tried several times to write something only to get completely disgusted or discouraged and just x-out the screen. I don't even try to save it to improve on it. I have found it easy for the past while to write about what God has been doing in my life or what's going on around me or what I am feeling as I get ready for my trip to Germany. So much has happened even since my birthday that I want to tell everyone but I am at a loss for words. It's just a matter of writing and writing and not caring what it looks like.

Have you ever had a birthday wish come true? I mean like make-a-wish-blow-out-the-candles wish? Maybe in the context of God, wish isn't the best word to use, but I had a birthday wish like that. A better translation may be hope, but I'm not ashamed to admit that I may have wished upon two stars, too. (Well, I found out that they were Venus and Jupiter. Does that mean it really really counts or really really doesn't?) Let me say that this wish/ hope expounds upon a promise God revealed to me. It was one of those wishes that I knew would come true eventually, but I wanted it right now. Wrapped and put under my Christmas tree.

Well, I can say that without a doubt, my God is faithful. He knows when the time is right, and I truly believe his eyes light up when he proves his faithfulness to his children. I mean, dang. This was more than I could have ever wished for. The greatest thing is is that it's just the beginning. My heart almost didn't know what to do. It thinks it knows now, and I really have to check myself so that I don't get anxious. I know his timing is perfect and mine sucks. Oh! Check out this great verse. It's one that I've always known about, and it's pretty mainstream, I guess.

Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4 (TNIV)

Even though if you were to hear what my wish was, you'd say I was silly. I'd have to disagree. You see, God promised me something. Through that promise, I have learned to rely on him. That promise helped me realize how to hope again. So, I hoped for it. I knew that God would be faithful and provide it for me one day. I knew that it would be so over the top amazing that I would fall head over heels more in love with Him. God has stolen my heart, and he likes to show me ways he takes delight in me. It baffles me, but he really really loves me.

Thank you God for knowing me better than I know myself. Thank you for my gift-wrapped surprise! Thank you for it all.

Posted via web from jennifer's posterous

Celebrating, what 22? 3? Ah, 4... 24 years of life.

2008-12-02T23:42:00.001-05:00

Here are some things that have made this the best birthday ever:

1. Getting 'Happy Birthday' sung to me in a Mexican restaurant after being scared from having a balloon (purposefully) popped behind me.
2. Decorating my church for Christmas.
3. Getting (nearly) dragged in front of everyone at Fusion and being, uhm, serenaded by Lauren and Cory.
4. All the great birthday wishes and hugs!
5. My friends allowing me graces for bad grammar and acting like an idiot.
6. Getting talked about in Neace's sermon.
7. A cake with my name spelled something like Jefer. Really??
8. My friends making me smile by telling me about my perfect birthday present. It's OK that you couldn't get it. It's the thought...thoughts... heehee.
9. Hearing one of my favorite sermons again.
10. Allowing God to really show me how great He is by getting me unstuck and Him continually allowing me to praise Him.
11. God improving my life one step at a time by giving me great (awesomely great) friends, family, a special special promise that He know would only result in the glorification of Him, the chance to work for Him in Germany for nearly half a year, and a new home in Him through my church.

Here are some of my favorite quotes of the day:
Me: I'm going out for birthday dinner with friends.
Dad: Who's birthday?
Me: Uh, mine.
**note: He even called in the morning to wish me Happy Birthday.**

Meredith: Just make sure you don't get electrocuted!
Me: I can see it now; I'm going to hop in there, fall over, all the lights will bust. Glass will be embedded in my skin, and he'll have to take me to the Emergency Room.
Steph: Well, at least you'll wake up with him hovering over you.
Me: Yeah, he'll see that I'm awake and leave saying, "Bye, Crazy!"
Meredith: *nodding in agreement* Pretty much.

Stephanie: I scrapped off the name because she misspelled it.
Me: How??
Steph: Yeah, she left off the n's and the i. Jefer.
Me: Oh, that's going to be my new name.
Steph: Yeah, she even misspelled it as I was spelling it to her.

Lauren: Here come the Mexicans! [later] These plastic spoons are useless!

Michael: Seh-cure-it-tee! She don't have a button!

Thanks to everyone for making my life great! Thank you, God, for blessing me with life and showing me how to celebrate your Son!!

Love,
Jennifer

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What is it about Sundays?

2008-11-30T13:37:00.001-05:00

As of late, Sundays are my day of restlessness. It's pretty annoying when I walk into my church and feel like something is pulling me down and keeping me distracted. I love my church, and I have come to realize the meaning of having a church home. I also think that the enemy has realized that I realize this, so he's really annoying the crap out of me, but that won't stop me from going. I'll go and let God deal with him.

Sundays always make me think a lot. I guess it's the day I subconsciously (or unconsciously -- joke, btw) choose to unpack my week. I read a lot. Now, that may come as a huge shock to some of you, but yes, the English major reads a lot. I read a lot of everything: news, blogs, fiction, non-fiction, and the Bible. The Bible gets its own genre. I think that's how it should be. A lot of the non-fiction that I read are things like C.S. Lewis or as of late a book on relationships. Well, relationships is too general a term. The book is When God Writes Your Love Story (WGWYLS). I know that a few posts ago (on my blogger) that I posted something on relationship advice. I am not discounting what I wrote; I want to add to it. I was feeling kind of cynical when I wrote some of the post, but I still hold true to it.

When I first read WGWYLS, I had no idea what I was reading. I thought the ideas were good but were far too lofty for anyone. Especially me. There were some things that seemed nice, but they were way out my grasp. Oh, how silly I was. I wasn't mature enough in my walk to understand it. Or, I was too distracted by the fact that I was still single with no prospects, and this was a distraction so I could pretend to hand it over to Jesus. See, silly. As I reread this book, I have come to know more about God and what He wants for my life. If you can look past come of the cheese the book offers, there is a lot to learn. The basic principle of the book is to give this area over to Jesus, and He'll take care of it. If you take a closer look, the authors guide you through what that process looks like and what the end result will be. It's not a formula or a step-by-step guide. The process takes time and allowing God to work in your life and in your heart and the end result is this glorious romance with the Lover of your heart.

Alright, things are about to get grungy. What I am about to say applies as much to me as it does to you. It's an area that no one wants to really talk about, but it should be. People should be shouting this everywhere they go. What is it? Purity. Uh-oh. Now I've done it. You know, this part of the book really struck me. I wish I could copy and past those chapters here, but that's not so legal. So, I will sum up.

Purity is not just physical. It's emotional as well. Not only do you want to be physically pure for the person you are to one day marry, you want to be emotionally pure. That cannot start the day of the wedding. It takes practice and commitment to this man or woman before you even meet him or her. Begin practicing purity right now by cherishing your future spouse with your thoughts, actions, and words. What you do now will affect your future. That seems like an obvious statement, but it's so true. This is a summary of about two great chapters one each written by the husband and wife. The Scriptural basis for the chapter written by the wife is Proverbs 31:12. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. ALL THE DAYS.

I think this (my) generation is lacking total purity. "If we are really after 'the beautiful side of love,' the version of romance that would make Hollywood's collective chin drop to the floor, then we need to pursue becoming a lover like the Great Lover Himself! We need to seek to reflect the goodness of our great God. He was not only a Lover who laid down His life for His Bride and kept Himself spotlessly pure in heart, mind, and body; He was also a Lover who was wholly faithful. In other words, Jesus knew how to blend His love and purity with patience. He Knew how to be single with a purpose, in a way that would honor and cherish His future Bride" (Ludy 127).

I cried when I read that. Even if it is not God's will for you (or me) to be married, nothing you do in guarding our hearts, thoughts, and cherishing our future spouse will be wasted. This all is an investment in your glorious future for the day when you will become the Bride of Christ. Start living this way now. It's not too late. Despite the past, God wash you white as snow.

I pray that purity and faithfulness become a habit for me and for you. It takes practice and hard work, but it will be worth it in the end. Ask God what you can do to love Him more and more. He will let you know in His gentle way.

Posted by email from jennifer's posterous

A song of PRAISE!

2008-11-27T02:00:00.001-05:00

God really knows how to touch my heart. I mean, he flat out gives me butterflies in my stomach and makes my heart beat so fast I think I might faint. When I think about how much He loves me, I can't help but getting all giddy. I cannot wait to live my life for Him. There is so much to do and so much see and so many people to enjoy.

I have been truly blessed. You can read a couple of posts down at how much He's blessed me, but that doesn't even being to stratch the surface! God satisfies me! My trust is in Him and because of that I know my relationships will be blessed. Why? When you put your trust in God, everything falls into place. It may not be pretty getting there. It may not be easy, but looking back, you realize it was all for something. That something is His glory!

I cannot say this enough: You are the happiest (actually, content) when He is glorified. My heart skips a beat when He shows me the little things He's doing to fill me up. Psalm 37:4 says that when you delight yourself in the Lord, He will give you the desires of your heart. It's true! Praise Him, it's true!! When you delight in Him, all you want to do is glorify Him. His desires become yours and your wildest dreams cannot hold a candle to the plan He has for you.

Oh, it is so amazing and so freeing. Surrender is freeing. Death is sweet. I beg you, do not hold back anymore! The God of this universe is seeking after you! Let Him capture your heart. Let Him pour into you. Let Him do with you what He will!! Let not this world be your guide. Shine because He loves you. Love like Christ. Get lost in His Word. Get lost in Him. Never give up and never let go!

Give thanks to the Almighty King who saved you from death. Give thanks to Him who blesses you with life. Give thanks to Him for showing you a better life and a better love. Show His love not just with your mouth but with your hands and feet. There is a calling on your heart; do not deny it. Unexplainable joy, rapture, peace, harmony, and love abound from answering that call.

Give it up! Give it to HIM! Shout it from the rooftops!!

I LOVE MY GOD!

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The Joy of People

2008-11-25T22:16:00.001-05:00

There is a joy in knowing a person. The joy does not come in figuring someone out. The joy comes from always learning new things about who they are. Please don't try and figure someone out or reduce them to a quirk. Take joy in who they are. See a person past a mood or a look. There is more there. Believe it or not, it hurts when you tell someone that you've figured them out. It tells that person that you have a limited view of who he or she is.

People are amazing. God created us in His likeness. Can you figure God out?

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Thankful

2008-11-25T10:56:00.001-05:00

I don't know where to begin. It seems the cliche thing to do to give thanks during this time of year, but I'm going to do it anyway.

I am tired of wanting to thank people and not doing it. God has given me so much, and I want to be thankful for it before it/ they go away and it's too late. So, here I go.

I am first and most thankful for my unchanging God. He loves me despite all my insanity and when I don't express thanks for what He's done for me. You, Father, life me up when I am down. You keep me strong when I am weak. You keep my life full and complete. I praise you, Beautiful One. I cannot express enough gratitude, and I cannot wait for the day when I see your face.

I am thankful for Stephanie Sidow and Meredith Sommer. You mean more to me than I can even put into words. You ladies are amazing Godly women who have shown me that I can be a better person than what I think I can be. I love you.

I am thankful for the BCM Lead Team. You follow the Spirit, and it shows through your dedication to challenge people to grow in the Lord.

I am thankful for the BCM. God really used all the people in it to show me a better way of life. I came alive the moment I stepped foot in Towne View for my first Fusion.

I am thankful for my amazing prayer warriors. You know who you are. Without you, I can not stand and fight this battle alone.

I am thankful for my church. It was truly a God thing that brought me to it, and it is God who keeps me there. It is an amazing place to call home, and all of the people I have encountered there are a blessing. I never could have imagined a better place to go to in my times of need.

I am thankful for my family. Despite it all, we find some way to stay strong and together. Your support for what I am trying to do in my life is what makes this all possible.

I am thankful for the people who have been sprinkled throughout my life who have had a great impact on it. Whether you be a friend, an old teacher, a supervisor, or spiritual counselor, you have changed my life for the better.

I am thankful for the strangers in my life who hold the door for me, cook and serve meals, and all the other things no one wants to do.

I am thankful to all those who have done me harm. Without you, I would not know the things I know about me or my God. Through you, I have held fast to my Lord, and He has shown His faithfulness. God bless you.

My life is impossible without God and without His children He has placed in my life.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Know that if I could thank you properly, I would literally die of gratitude.

Posted by email from jennifer's posterous

Lift Me High

2008-11-18T02:28:00.003-05:00

Sunday was a difficult day. Monday wasn't the best until the end of it. I had a lot to say on Sunday. Do you ever feel like words just keep coming and you have to get them out or you'll explode? Maybe it's just me.

Despite the other two posts from Sunday, I've been going through a hard time. I've been working on a fund raising banquet and trying to prepare for Germany. My body is at odds with the hours I've been keeping, and my soul is sluggish from feeling like a battleground. The scars run deep as I've been attacked in all areas of my life. My pride took over. Shame and guilt. Anger and resentment. Loneliness and pain. Bewilderment. Sorrow. Defiance. Exhaustion. The enemy knows all too well how to attack and when to attack.

I was in a deep fog. I thought that I couldn't get out of it without a miracle, but I couldn't see it coming any time soon. Silly me. I was right, I needed a miracle. I knew that Prime on Monday would be great, but I didn't know it'd be part my miracle. My prayer warriors are the other part. Here's the thing-- I was stuck in a rut. I had a secret sin that was bringing me down, and it was ready to take over. I knew that it was building its place in my heart and settling in. I was scared. I knew that I had to do something, but what? This thing, this distraction, was pulling me towards destruction. I was so consumed by it, that I was becoming obsessive.

It wasn't what God wanted for my life. He's not the God of destruction; He's the God of creation. Anything destructive I do (did) or you do, is against His perfect creative will for your life. He doesn't want to see you hurting. I knew deep in me that I had to break free from this or I would keep on doing it. I'd let it totally consume my life until I completely destroyed this perfect promise God promised me.

I begged for prayer, and I know it helped. I prayed, but I wasn't sure if I was doing it right. Do you know how hard it is to face God and wonder if you're praying correctly? Seriously!? When I discovered the power in prayer, I knew that all I had to do was talk to Him. That's it. I had come to a point where I was doubting it. If you think about it, I was doubting God. Thankfully, He forgives that. But, it's hard to one day realize that you haven't talked to Him in a while, and when you try, it feels useless. Not that He doesn't hear it but that what you're saying is empty... despite everything you know.

Like I said, this Sunday was hard. I was seriously considering skipping out on church and wallowing in self-pity or something more useless. I actually went for the wrong reason, but I went anyway. It was hard, but I'm glad I went because I realized that I had become steeped in this secret obsession, and I was really harming myself. I could feel the feelings of anxiety coming out. I felt like all eyes were on me, and they were waiting for me to do something stupid. I felt judged and like people were talking about me behind my back. It's not a pride thing; it's paranoia. That's what happens to me when I'm in a fog. I feel like people are ignoring me because they think I'm obsessive when really, I'm just being paranoid. I lose confidence in myself because I've blocked out the confidence I have in God. I rely on people, not God. That's idiotic. It's a slippery slope in a monsoon on a downward spiral slide into a cave with spiders and clowns. Ew. Just not good.

I went through the motions that day. I went to the service. I tried to get into worship, and I got really frustrated that I understood the words, but I wasn't applying them. I struggled through the message because it was about loving the Bible, and I couldn't seem to wrap my thoughts around even getting into the Word. I came home, and I tried to read a book about God and then I tried to read the Bible, and I got distracted, lost track of time, and I was late to a leadership meeting. Wow. Then, all through the meeting, all I could think about was me. How shallow am I? There are the great ideas being presented to me on getting the middle-schoolers involved in service, and all I can think about is how I won't even be here to see it start. LAME!

Oh, but there was something about the service that night that broke me. There was a guest preacher who taught on the passage in Philippians 2 about how to be humble like Christ. Dang. Then, we took the Lord's Supper. I realized that I had been doing a lot of self-thinking. I was obsessing over me, and I think I was doing a pretty good job of hiding it. It's hard to take the Lord's Supper when you're wrapped up in yourself. The Spirit broke me down and had me weeping through the music and Pastor Johnny's words. He taught me something that night.

I haven't been applying what God's been teaching me through His servants, His word, and His words on my heart. He will not go back on His promises, but I have to lean on Him and trust Him that He will take care of it all. I don't have to worry about a thing. I've likened this situation to tithing. Here's how:
God answered a prayer, and He provided me with a promise. Just like God provides money. I took that promise and held fast to it. Just like people hold onto their money. It became something I worshiped. People worship money. It was to become my downfall. People become slaves to money, and they live empty lives. However, I gave it back to Him to do with what He will. When you realize that nothing you have is yours, but His, give it back to Him and ask Him to bless it to further His kingdom. I know that He needs nothing I have, but it is freedom when you let go of it... because you KNOW that we will not go back on His promise. God does not need your money, but you offer it anyway. He will bless it, and others will receive it. You will NEVER be poor if you give to the Lord. He will never harm you. You will see you riches again one day... in the face of our Savior.

What now? Peace. Battles will be fought, but love always always wins. Love has already won.

Relationship adivce (haha) and some tangents

2008-11-16T15:46:00.000-05:00

Have you ever tried to read a book on singleness in the context of Christianity? These books range from letting God write your love story to kissing dating goodbye. The whole thing boils down to this: surrender your love life to God. Notice, I did not say that you'll be thrilled every second of every day.

The most practical advice I have ever received is to pray to God that He would help me love Him more than I love the idea of being married or having a boyfriend or whatever. Seriously, it works. It's not easy to admit to God or really anyone that you've been more in love with the idea that God might provide you a love than with Him. It's OK to hope for it, but it's not OK to love the idea more than loving God. That's a slippery slope in a monsoon.

Any time I feel that thought creeping in my brain and mainly in my heart, I have to stop and pray. I usually argue that it's OK to entertain daydreams, but God, in His gentle way, tells me it's not. Those daydreams provide a great distraction from lots of things: reality, school, responsibility, and God. If you need to escape, run to Him. It's so much better, and it leaves no room for disappointment.

Where on earth is this all coming from? Well, a couple of years ago, someone recommended that I read When God Writes Your Love Story. I cannot really remember how I felt after I read it, but I recently found it in one of my piles of books. I started reading it again, and I remembered how much I really liked the idea of God taking control of things, and I loved the story. I also realized how much I had grown. I realized that the only book I need is THE Book. The Bible. It's filled with love. It's better than any book on dating... although, I must admit that some books are actually fine as long as they're steeped in Scripture. Don't ever let one replace the Bible, though. Another slippery slope.

Here's my deal. I am single. Not a huge shock to the general public. What a lot of people don't know is my secret struggle with it. It's not a unique struggle, but it's really not one you want to try and deal with yourself. Seek wise counsel and pray and read the Bible. It sounds simple, but you know and I know that it is not. Trust God. He has your best intentions at heart. Seriously, though, the best advice I have ever gotten that made me realize that I'm not alone, I'm not gross, I'm not stupid, I'm not about to get stuck in a rut again is to love God more than His promises or hope for a promise.

Give it a try. You really won't regret it.

2008-11-16T13:28:00.000-05:00

There are times when my words cannot express what I am feeling or trying to say. It usually happens that way when I try to describe what I'm learning from God or when I am having some sort of me getting in the way of God moment. It's usually when I relay something to someone else that I can fully comprehend what is going on.

Whenever I try to orchestrate something, it never ever works out. It's when I candidly do or say something to someone else that I realize, "Man, if I would have done what I wanted to do or say what I wanted to say, I would have messed this up." My best writing comes when I try not to force it. My greatest writing comes when I least expect it. It usually takes someone else (again) to say, "Hey, say that." or "Wow, that's a great a letter." Usually, my response is ,"Really? You think?" Then when I read it over, I realize that it is actually what I've been trying to say all along.

God always reminds that He's in control. He shows up in the most unexpected places. Again, usually when I am not trying to meddle in my own life. When I take the me out of it, it gets so soooo good. I urge you to not pay attention to yourself. You'll be surprised at what God will do and how things will work out like you never expected.

Patience really is a virtue. You have to learn it. I would not recommend asking for it, but if you are really itching for a challenge, go ahead and ask God for some patience.

Here's a chain of stuff I've been learning about recently...
Hope leaded to faith. Faith leads to obedience. Obedience leads to Christ- likeness. Christ- likeness leads to better and more glorification of God. Glorification leads to ultimate contentment and joy and peace. You are content when God is most glorified.

Tiny Steps

2008-10-26T16:35:00.000-04:00

What do you do when you get the urge to do something you normally wouldn't do. I'm not talking about worldly things; I'm talking Godly things. The urge may have to do with this some aspect in this world, but you know it's all Him. What do I do? Stupid me, I second guess it as something I dreamed up, delay, and probably miss out on something that I could have had sooner. I think too much. If it sounds too good to be true, I'll talk myself out of it. Then, the urge comes back, and I know it wasn't of me. Then, as I progress to follow through with said thing, I get nervous that I just did something stupid. I guess that's not thinking very well of myself, and it's not trusting God. That's bad.

He would NEVER do anything to hurt me. He'd never embarrass me or tell me to do something that would blow up in my face or not make any progress for His kingdom. I think that Christians (or maybe it's just me) think too much and act too little. If there is something stirred within you that would not harm anyone or yourself, and you know that it's a step to whatever God has planned, why not go through with it right then? Well, that's easy. (Sorry. I'm talking in circles, but I promise to make a point. Maybe. You can stop reading now, and it won't hurt my feelings.) Even though the thing may seem small to someone else, it's huge to you. You know it's a small step, but it could be a huge step. That last statement is why you don't (I don't) ever do it right then. So, what do I do? I call my friends to see what they say. What do they tell me to do (usually, after a good laugh for the both of us)? Pray. But, it's so silly one might muse. (This is where the previous post came from.) Nothing is too small if it comes from God. If it concerns you, it concerns God. I have nothing to fear if God's in control. If He told me to do something that may seem silly to the world, it's something to progress what He has in store for you.

Whew! I surely talked myself out of a mini-nervous breakdown. OK, I didn't. God did. He's always urging me to have faith in Him. He won't go back on His promise. I just have to take these steps in BLIND faith. I trust that He has my hand and won't let me go. I don't have to do any of this on my own. It won't be easy, but I won't be alone.

All of this reminds me of Psalm 119:105; Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. You see, the lamp lights each step one at a time. The light for my path is so that I don't grope around in the dark. I can look behind me and see the steps I've taken. I can took ahead and see the path, but I don't know what the steps are. Those will be revealed when God sees fit. I hope that makes sense. If it doesn't, I have a great sermon that explains it a lot better.

So, if I haven't completely scared you away from my journal (I don't like the word blog very much. It sounds like... I just don't like it.), I hope that I made sense somehow. I don't write this stuff all for me. I hope that it help you in some way. If you'd like to talk, let me know! I don't have very many answers, but I serve an awesome God who has all the answers.

I encourage you to cry out to Jesus at all times. Anticipate His response. In all you do, give Him the glory. Forever. He is infinite, and He will always reveal Himself to you. You will never know all of Him, but take comfort in that you can know Him. You'll never get bored if you're truly in tune with your Father. There's so much to see and do in Him. It's like a never-ending [insert something you find exhilarating].

For His glory,
Jennifer

Nothing too small... or too silly.

2008-10-19T21:27:00.000-04:00

To start, I have the best friends ever. They put up with my complete silliness and all my stories... and all the weirdness that comes with it. They're wonderful for not telling to shut-up and for being happy with me. It's not everyday you are blessed with friends like that. Thanks God.
-+-+-+-+-

He determines the number of the stars and calls them each by name.
Great is our Lord and mighty in power; his understanding has no limit.
Psalm 147: 4-5

This is such a great passage. God knows how many stars there are in the sky. He knows their names. He has infinite knowledge and power, but He knows me. He knows my story. He wrote my story. HE KNOWS ME!!! The God of the stars knows MY name, and He cares about me.

God really is the lover of my soul. As I have grown in Him, different things have begun to touch my heart in amazing ways. Some things have remained the same. As I become more like Him, here's what has changed:

Witnessing people abandon themselves in worship and prayer touches my heart in a new way.
A trio of friends and their perfectly timed friendship for maximum growth in God.
Reading the Bible and finding answers to my deepest desires.
A perfect passage in the Bible that nails life right on the head.

Things that haven't changed but have gotten better:
Georgia sunsets.
Laughing so hard it hurts.
Fellowship.
Family.

I found another great verse from the Book of Psalms:
He will complete that which concerns you... Psalm 138:8

God will complete everything according to His plan for your (my) life. I found this great page that explains it more: God This Concerns Me

Tell Him everything.

Love,
Jennifer

Faith, Doubt, and Faith Again

2008-10-16T18:25:00.000-04:00

Do you ever have those moments when you doubt what God has said? I mean the kind of doubt that has a faith backing. You know? Like you could royally screw things up or maybe just maybe He won't follow through because it seems too good to be true.

I was having a serious crisis of faith a few nights ago. I'm sure these will crop up every now and then until it happens. I don't really like that feeling. I wish I could just let it go, and let God work it out. Well, I could do that if I put my mind to it. It's hard because it's easy to doubt. It's a lot easier to roll with the world and wait until God does what He says He'll do. That's not fair at all to God. He doesn't lie, cheat, or change His mind. Who am I to doubt that and take the easy road of entertaining these thoughts until it happens? Although it is easy to doubt and try and take the reigns, the results ends up as crap or you're (I'm) hurt along the way. It would be no big surprise to God what I would do, but the result would be a huge shock to me. I just have to let it go and trust that He is faithful. I mean, He is. For real.

It's a small sacrifice and a huge leap of faith.

As I wait on Him, I have to constantly rely on Him to get me through. That's the whole idea, and when it does happen on His terms, it is so much better than you could have ever expected. You just have to trust His word and not listen to the world and what people are saying or even what you see... especially what you believe about yourself.

God created me and you. I've screwed up a lot, but I know that He will take care of me. I've screwed up because I didn't rely on Him, and that taught me to listen to God and rely on Him. He'll do what He says. I keep repeating myself because it's important to understand that God is faithful. He's is perfectly loving and faithful. Because He is faithful, I have faith in Him, and I obey Him so I become more like Him.

Here are some verses about God's faithfulness that I have surrounded myself in. Literally. I wrote them out on note cards and posted them on my wall at home. They surround a promise God made me.

The one who calls you is faithful, and he will do it. 1 Thessalonians 5:24
Every word of God is flawless; he is a shield to those who take refuge in him. Proverbs 30:5
He who is the Glory of Israel does not lie or change his mind; for he is not a human being, that he should change his mind. 1 Samuel 15:29
Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1

With all my love,

Jennifer

No Title

2008-10-12T21:16:00.000-04:00

This week has been the very best of my life. I serve an amazing God. Through my faith in Him, my life will continually get better and better despite what the world throws at me. I know this life isn't at all about me, but for some reason, God's made it a great one.

I am so blessed to live in America. At our worst, we're still better than most (economically). I grew up with a Bible and no fear of persecution. I am blessed with knowledge of God and the ability to share it around the world. It's all for His glory.

Corporate worship is amazing when you are surround by unabashed worshipers. It's amazing no matter what, but when you get the body of Christ together for the sole purpose of giving Him glory, oh man. Watching people worship is an amazing experience and a testament to the glory of God in and of itself. There are times when I wish I were taller so I could life my hands higher. It's so cool to watch people reach for God. I love to watch them dance in His presence. I love to see their worries melt away. I love to see smiles and tears all for His glory. Whether it's concert-like, mixed-traditional, contemporary, whatever, feeling the Spirit move through and in believers is something to behold. It's especially amazing when those believers are children. Have you ever watched a child praise God? I mean truly praise Him? It is beautiful.

Go, now. Worship your Father.

A God Sized God

2008-10-11T03:09:00.000-04:00

Four hours of intensely studying God and who He is will make your brain mushy trying to comprehend what little our finite minds can fathom. Let me tell you, it's close to nothing, but you can know Him.

I love that God is incomprehensible yet knowable. He is three persons in one essence. He is great beyond all measure, and He is good beyond all measure. I cannot help but tremble at how great He is, yet He chose to love me because He is good. I really have no meaning on this earth, except that God is I AM.

God doesn't need me. The good thing is is that He loves me and he uses me somehow in His great plan. It's all to glorify Him.

Pride/ Ego deflater: God DOES NOT need me for anything. He's the center of His will. He is infinite and perfect and just and good and love. He doesn't need me to worship Him. He is complete. He doesn't need me to fix Him. He is secure. But, because He loves me, I'm here.

What I learned about God's greatness changes things. I will never give him flabby worship again. But His greatness and how awesomely, well, frightening it is coexists with His goodness. His goodness is why He doesn't crush us like He could.

I'll admit that I entertained thoughts last night/ the morning/ now that I am completely useless. I'm not sure that I'll completely shake that feeling. However, I'm sure the nature of the uselessness will change. I don't know if that makes any sense. Last night, I felt useless in the sense that I felt like I had no reason for actually being here. I was a pretty dark moment. Then, I began to realize that His greatness is something to fear. But, like I said before, His goodness gives us a meaning. But, it's not about me. It's about Him.

I talked myself in and out of circles and spirals last night. God is my Lord, healer, protector, banner, strength, and reason to live. He loves me beyond all reason so that I may glorify Him. I'm not useless, but I am.

A God Sized Interruption

2008-10-10T00:45:00.000-04:00

Wow. I mean, wow. God has totally interrupted my life in two awesome, scary, wonderful, exciting, and big ways.

You kind of already read about one, but here's the other...

I am going to Dresden, Germany! In January. Yes, January. Until June... Yes, June. It's a mission trip.

I'm scared and excited with so many questions for God.

Please pray!

Love,
Jennifer

A God Sized Answer

2008-10-05T23:09:00.000-04:00

Today was unexpected.

I have complete faith in God. He's a perfect God, and He's a God of paradoxes. Which is so cool. One example is how he is completely personal and relational yet we are not individuals; we are one body united to worship Him. He wants so badly to have a personal relationship with us, yet we're all one body. Isn't that so cool? You know, He can completely fulfill us and make us thirsty for more at the same time. I must say, I worship an awesome God.

Let me give you some background on where I'm going with this.

A few weeks ago... wait more background... Every Monday, I go to an awesome gathering of 20 and 30 somethings at Woodstock. It's called Prime Atlanta. Dave Edwards is the speaker.

OK, A few weeks ago, Dave was in the middle of his series iWill (When faith and destiny collide). Well, he did a talk on how to read the Bible for answers. It was great and inspiring. Great is a bad word... it was amazing. It gave me hope that I don't have to fish around for answers. So, I asked God a question, prayed... kind of, and tried to start reading for an answer. I knew I was doing it half-heartedly. I knew that I doubted I would find anything. So, I gave up. The thing is, I knew in my heart of hearts that if I surrendered my doubts and fears and had complete faith that God would reveal himself through His word, I would find an answer.

But, I still had that lingering doubt and really fear of what the answer would be.

Fast forward to last week at Fusion. (More background? Fusion is our BCM's (Baptist Collegiate Ministries) fellowship and worship gathering.) The message was the speaker's story. It was about his journey through life and lingering singleness. He finally broke down one evening when he realized he'd been trying to control this area of his life. First, he was reading through Matthew to reacquaint himself, and he came across Matthew 6:33. He said it was like he'd never read it before, and the words jumped off the page.

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

It's one of those verses that makes perfect sense if you'd only do it. With his story in mind, I sought after God for my own story. I knew that, like the speaker, I would have to die to any expectation I had of marriage or money or anything else I was holding on to if I wanted God to speak to me. If I wanted to live the life the way He intends me to live. I tried several times to read through Matthew or Romans. I realized that I was trying again to write my own story or try and make God write my story like he wrote other people's stories.

That won't do. First of all, you can't make God do anything. It so silly to say that, but it's true. Today at church, worship was unbelievable. The message, the music... couldn't believe that God called me to such an amazing church. The thing that got me was the invitation. "Jesus Paid it All" was the song. It always gets to me, but today was different. I sang it with all my heart. I meant it.

Jesus paid it all/ All to Him I owe/ Sin had left a crimson stain/ He washed it white as snow!
Oh, praise the one who paid my debt/ And raised this life up from the dead!/
Oh, praise the one who paid my debt/ And raised this life up from the dead!

Jesus paid it all for me. Why was I having reservations that the Living Word would not speak to me from the Written Word? I gave it up. I gave up my doubt. I gave up my frustrations. I gave up my fear. I told God to send me where he needed me. I begged him to use me. I could barely move from the pew after the invitation because I knew I was about to get an answer to a question that had been in my heart for a long long time. I knew deep withing my soul what I needed to read. I knew that the book I chose wasn't a book (in the Bible) that I would have just happened to read. I didn't force it. God spoke to my soul, and I prayed for real this time.

As I was reading, I could feel doubt creeping in, but I prayed even harder. The doubt left me. I knew that my question was about to be answered, and regardless of that answer, I would be satisfied. Let me tell you something, as I read over the passage that answered my question, I could barely believe it. I was scared it was my humanness kicking in, but I had to remember that I did not choose this book because I knew what was in it. I chose it because God led me to it, and it was actually the first time I had ever read it.

I didn't read it historically. I read it personally. If I told someone what that question was and what God answered it with, they'd tell me I was wrong. I understand fully what the passage is about, and I also understand fully that God used those words to answer a seemingly unrelated question. You see, He's a God a paradoxes. He's infinitely wise.

The hard part is waiting and trusting that what I read was not of me but of God. For if I believed it was of me, then it ushers in doubt and lots of bad questions. I have to wait. I know I already said that, but it's hard. When you know the answer... it's so hard. I have to trust that God will unfold everything in His perfect time. And in that wait, He will satisfy me. After the wait, He will satisfy me.

I'm Home!

2008-07-31T17:38:00.000-04:00

I got home on Saturday , July 19.

I must say that I am sick of plane rides. I prefer it, but with so many connections, I really don't feel like flying again for a while. I'm also sick of Customs. It's not bad, really. But, the anxiety that you may be pulled for extra question frazzles me. Whatever.

I'm home. It's hot. I love it. I really missed everyone more than I realized. I missed brewed sweet tea at restaurants. I missed fully stocked libraries and good Chinese food. I missed getting to the next city in less than 10 minutes. I missed gardenias and magnolias.

I dread the "what did you do?" question. It's not your fault, you want to know. I want to tell. Now that I recall my trip, it doesn't sound like much. It was hard, and there were parts that nearly sent me home... just because I didn't want to deal with whatever was going on. God did a lot of work in me. There were some parts that I can pinpoint that I know something I did had some kind of positive impact. It's mainly because someone told me.

I feel sad, I think. Frustrated, definitely. Hurt, too. All I can say is that I thank God for the people He's blessed me with at home. I am thankful for my Canadians, too. As you know, there's nothing like home. I was out of my comfort zone and doing work that many don't consider work. I'm not offended.

This trip changed my whole view of missions. I can't wait to talk to others who did missions this summer. I want to know what their experiences were. I believe that this trip was a God working on me trip. Honestly, my whole view of Him has changed from Father and Creator to living, loving Dad; lover; brother; friend. I miss Him when I don't talk to him. And I know that my struggles right now will be taken care if I'd just let them go.

Thank you so much for your continued prayers throughout my trip. Don't worry. I'll be keeping this blog. The title will change, but I am on mission nonetheless.

I love you!

In the matchless name of Jesus Christ,
Jennifer

In the morning when I rise, give me Jesus.

2008-07-11T02:04:00.000-04:00

I am so not good at this blog updating. I never dreamed I would be so tired. There's so much that I've learned about my life while up here. I am amazed that God has trusted me with what he has taught me. Before I get into that, I want to let you know things I have been doing.
Today, there was a freak storm in BC. The winds reached 110 km/h around the lake. It was quite widespread-- from Vancouver to the north OK (Vernon). The winds were insane; it reminded me of home. *tear* Everyone was freaking out because weather like that never happens here. Think snow in Georgia. The news coverage is the same. It was really serious, though. There was a lot of lightening, and this is prime forest fire season. After the storm, it got really cold... not like Georgia.

I had the chance to meet the team from Peachtree City who came up to help out with Kid's Club. They're all really great! We had a cookout this evening with everyone. It was so good!! Baked beans, hash brown casserole, butter cake... yuuum! OH! Sweet tea! I forgot to mention that Canadian sweet tea is not sweet tea. It's powdered lemon "tea". They don't even sell tea bags made to brew iced tea. Insanity.

What else? For the 4th, we had a cookout. It was a lot of fun! We played all-terrain Boccie ball. I definitely think that needs to be an intramural sport at KSU. I'd join. You would, too. I've helped set up for Kid's Club and watched the other interns go through the motions for all the songs. One day, we went to the beach and handed out freezies with invitations to Kid's Club and Student Week.

As for last week...
Kevin, Todd, Noah, and I headed to Prince Rupert. We left on Saturday morning. It is nearly 900 miles to PR, so our plan was to take three days getting up there and two getting back. The first night, we stopped in a town called Quinsel (pronounced quinell). The camp site was really nice. Plenty of space and privacy and there were showers and clean washrooms. Well, it was all fun and games until the rain came. I was sleeping alright in my tent until I woke up freezing at about 3:30 am. I couldn't figure out why I was so cold until I realized that I was soaked through to my PJ's. Yep. Tent, sleeping bag, pillow, and PJ's-- all soaked in freezing cold rainwater. I got up, went to the washrooms and changed. I tried to dry out my shoes with the electric hand dryer, but it only worked twice before it apparently overheated. I then climbed into the car and tried to sleep, but it was cold, and I didn't have anything with which to keep warm. I also didn't have a pillow except for my clothes that didn't get wet. Needless to say, I didn't get back to sleep. So, I had some quiet time with God, and I listened to Chris Tomlin.

Everyone else woke up about 6:00 am, and we all sat in the car until about 7 when we took down the camp. The showers didn't open up until 7:30... stupid. I was cold, and I needed a hot shower. We also had to pay for our showers. Yes, that's right... pay. $1 for every 4 min. Blah blah blah-- got shower, and we went on our way. We made our way to Smithers. We made a stop in Barnes Lake to dry everything out at a laundromat. We ate lunch in Houston, and we prayed through as many towns as we could. I'll explain more about that later.

Then we arrived at our campsite, Glacier View. Let me tell you... better yet, let me show you God's creation. It was amazing. The view of this glacier from our campsite was so amazing. We also went part way up the mountain to see Twin Falls-- two waterfalls coming off the glacier. God really knows what He's doing. Beauty is his specialty... without further delay... my glacier. Yes, I've claimed it. Waterfalls, too!

I'm holding an apple. I didn't want to throw it out because I was certain that a bear would try to eat me or something. My logic was slightly flawed.

Anyway, there was no rain in Smithers only high winds while we were trying to set up camp. That was fun, and I'm not kidding. Mainly because the wind stopped long enough for my tent to be set up without trouble, but the guys had a really hard time getting theirs up. The sleep was better, but it was still sleeping on the ground. I stayed away from the edges of the tent just in case. I woke up sans wetness and without a pounding headache like the night before.

Then, we headed to Prince Rupert. We got there around 1pm, I think. 12:30, maybe. We got in contact with the team leader up there, and headed over to the Civic Centre to immediately be put to use helping out with the Aboriginal Edlers Conference. The four of joined the six of them and chopped every vegetable known to man until about 6:30 pm. The next day, we got to the Civic Centre at 7am and started to chop every fruit known to man. Throughout the day, we had some down time, so we all got to see some truly amazing things. We got to see the traditional garb of the different bands, and we also had the privilege of seeing their dances and songs. The best thing was meeting the team that's up there and seeing and hearing about the amazing work they're doing.

The next day, we left PR to come back to Kelowna. There was a change of plans; we decided to drive straight back. 16 hours. In a car. That was longest I have ever been in a car. It's not my preferred mode of transportation for a trip that long, but I read a couple of books and the Bible. I finished the Gospel of John. If you haven't read through it, I would recommend it. If that intimidates you like it did me, get a study guide or a study Bible that has notes. Pray that God will work through the Scriptures with you. It's an amazing book. I never felt closer to Jesus; the author of John does an amazing job of describing the character of Jesus. My next task is to read straight through the New Testament. I am excited! I'll admit that I've never read it at once.

Now, for the meat and potatoes of my post:

Title: An Advocate for Canada

(This is exactly from my journal, so somethings may be repeated.)

The more and more I am here, the more and more I learn. I am awestruck and dumbfounded with how much God is teaching me. I cannot believe he is entrusting me with this. I know what I must do, and the very least is to be an advocate for Canada.

God is even showing me why he put me in First Baptist Woodstock (FBCW). I knew it was of him that I joined the church, and now I know why. For something to be so clear is amazing.

I'm on the way to Prince Rupert, and God is speaking to me through Kevin.

As we have been traveling from Kelowna, we have stopped and prayed or driven and prayed for the various towns we've gone through. I prayed for God to open me eyes and heart to see what he sees, and He has. Never have I felt his presence more when we went through a town that He so desperately wants its people to know Him. I've been moved to tears several times.Growing up in the South, I never knew how much I had. I took for granted the resources I had/ have. I never understood the importance of See You at the Pole. I thought it was just another way to try and drag me out of bed earlier than I wanted. I went to one my entire high school career, and I didn't even pray out loud. Even now, on a seemingly Godless campus, the Christian groups are known. The people within the groups are amazing, and what God pours out is astounding. If only, I would have opened my eyes sooner, I would have seen what I see now. Why am I telling you all of this? It's a huge part of what God is teaching me.

Prayer is so important. Think about it. You're talking to God. God! Your Creator, Father, Brother, Friend, and Lover. You're talking to the One who provides you with anything and everything you need, have needed, and could ever conceive needing. The thing, I think, that a lot of people don't understand about prayer walking being important is this: You are in a place. You're seeing what God sees, and you are interceding on behalf of those people of that town. You're asking God to work in that town. There is nothing God loves more than to be glorified. What better way to do than when the impossible is made possible? There is no way a man can be glorified; only God can. Prayer is more important than you can imagine. Don't take it lightly. God is listening to you. He wants to communicate with you in the worst possible way. He wants you more than you want him. Isn't that amazing? The God of this universe wants you. Need proof? Jesus Christ. Just like in prayer, you are interceding for a town, through his death and conquering death, Jesus interceded and is still interceding for you. The perfectly innocent Son of Man gave up his life so that you may live. Take comfort. He loves you more than you can fathom.

To single yourself out as a Christian in your school (up here), you are chancing to subject yourself to hostility. There's a chance you're one of very few Christians in your school and an even greater chance that you're the only one.

I'm not writing this to make anyone feel guilty. I'm writing this to let you know that just because Canada isn't a third world country, they desperately need Jesus. It's harder than I could have ever imagined because there is a lot of resistance to the Gospel (and church), and it's understandable. Just take a look at the history of the First Nations.

So, what does this all boil down to? You guessed it. Canada will always be on my radar. I love Canada, and I can't deny or block out what God's been doing in my life these last few weeks. I don't know exactly what it looks like, yet. But, I have faith that God will take care of me and my family.

Please keep praying for me! Also, pray hard this week. It's Student Week, and our main purpose is to reach out to the lost students of Westbank. Pray for wisdom for the leaders, and pray that the students will be receptive to what we are doing.

I love you!

Happy Canada Day!!

2008-07-01T14:34:00.000-04:00

A rose in the yard and Mission Hill Winery.

Lavender field and a pretty sunset.

More Mission Hill Winery.

I know, it's been forever. I apologize. I've been so busy and so tired.

The time is flying by. I cannot believe it! I will be home in 18 days! 18!! I am excited to get home. I am so blessed that I have not been homesick except for one or two days when I felt really sick.

I've become more and more aware of my calling, and it is thrilling and frightening. I know that I am meant to share my story with people; I just don't know how. There have been several thing that have happened during my stay here that have signaled that I am to use the spiritual gifts God has given me to share my story. I do not think I am gifted with evangelism, but God may have someone for me who is who needs someone like me to balance out our gifts.

God and I have been talking a lot. It's amazing. I was going through a particularly hard spiritual time. I had asked God to show me some things a few weeks ago, and he showed them to me very recently. I didn't realize what was going on until someone pointed it out to me. Anyway, I woke up really ill on Sunday. I took a shower hoping that would shake it, but it did not. So, I had to skip church. :-( I could sense God telling me to go back to bed, so I did. I woke up several times throughout the day, and I finally got up around 5. I was thirsty and a little hungry, so I made some tea hoping that would help with the headache, and I ate a nectarine. The tea didn't help, and the nectarine helped settle my stomach. God showed me a few things while I was up, but he told me to go back to bed. So, at 5:30, I went back to bed. I woke back up at 7:30, and my headache was gone, and I was finally hungry! I got something to eat, and I popped in a movie. God truly helped me work through what I was going through. It reminded me of what he did with Elijah when he prayed for death under the tree. I wasn't praying for death, but I felt like I was falling into a really dark and evil place.

God helped me see that I had not forgiven someone, and I was displacing those feelings onto someone innocent. But, that was supposed to happen so I would turn to God so he could fix me.

Before all of that, I did some exploring around town. I went to a lavender and herb field. It is so pretty, and it smells heavenly! I tasted some lavender lemonade... yum!! Then, I talked to the girl in the gift shop, and she told me about a Goat Cheese Artisan. I went there, too, and I tried some goat cheese. Some of it was really good and some was not. I wanted to tour the goat farm, but you had to pre-schedule your tour. Oh well.

What else have I done? I've traveled to Penticton, Peachland, Summerland, and Okanagan Falls. All of those towns are on the lake, and Penticton is at the southernmost point on the lake. I've seen all 90 miles of Lake Okanagan! Woo-hoo!

The church participated in a weekend long event called Love Westside. Potter's House hands out potted plants to 300 businesses around the west side. We all gathered together the night before and potted the plants. That morning, all the churches participating in Love Westside gathered at a central church and had a pancake breakfast. I guess I should explain what Love Westside is. Churches on the west side (of the lake) gather together and perform random acts of kindness to show God's love in a practical way. Some churches handed out water on the streets, some cleaned graffiti off of everything, some had cookouts, and some set up free stores. It was so cool. Everyone had the same t-shirt, and no one identified the church they were with. We were all one! It was so cool!!

What else have I done? Oh yes! The Canada Day parade! On Saturday, Westbank had a parade to celebrate Canada Day. Potter's House had a float to advertise their Kid's Club (VBS), and we handed out water bottles to the crowd. It was SO much fun! It was HOT. Even though there is no humidity, it is still hot. Phew! That evening, we went to the lake shore to watch fireworks. It was fun! They were shot off from a boat in the lake. At the end, the guy lighting the fuse fell into the lake, but he's OK. The water is SO cold.

Today is Canada Day! I hope to be heading to the beach with the other interns!

Thanks for reading!
Love,
Jennifer

Soon... I promise.

2008-06-25T01:29:00.000-04:00

Hi, Everyone--

I apologize again for not updating. I've had a lot going on personally, and I am kind of drained right now. No need to worry, I promise! I have been having a lot of fun, and there will be pictures... even some with me in them.

Thank you always for your prayers and concern. I always need prayer. Can I please give you specific things for which to pray? I need encouragement, hope, and peace.

Please continue to pray for the efforts of those trying to reach lost people for Jesus. It's so much harder than I imagined.

Please be patient as I get up enough non-tiredness to write an entry worthy of your attention! I only want the best for you, reader!

Love,

Jennifer

Teaser picture:

From the Lavender Farm

Hope!

2008-06-19T12:23:00.000-04:00

God is truly amazing.

Thank you so much for your prayers and comments. After talking with my supervisors and with God, things got so much better. I just had one of those weird moments that if I had kept it all in, that one day would have ruined everything.

Yesterday, Kevin, Todd, and I took a road trip! There was about six hours of drive time because Canadian cities are not close. At least not in BC. We went to Merritt, Hope, and Princeton. Merritt is the country music capital of Canada. They have a HUGE country music festival every year. The town has less than 8000 people, and this three day festival brings it up to about 80,000! Todd and I stopped into the Info Center with the purpose of just having a conversation with one of the employees. (Yesterday was an exploration trip.)

We met Nancy. She was a talker, but she was passionate about Merritt. It was nice to see that kind of passion for such a small place because it could one day turn into a great passion for our Creator. I don't think she is saved, but you could tell that with the right amount of time she could be. That was hopeful. It was funny/ sad when she was showing us the Merritt guidebook. She showed us everything Merritt had to offer through that book except for one thing: an historic church. Todd noticed, too.

I think we talked to Nancy... well, she talked to us... for nearly 20 minutes! I wanted to buy a stuffed bear dressed as a mounty. I think I will one day. Anyway, after Merritt, we drove to Hope. There was snow on the ground and on the mountains. SNOW! IN JUNE! It was weird. We were going to prayer walk, but we decided to prayer drive. We stopped for lunch at a Chinese/ Canadian restaurant. It was an interesting experience. Needless to say, I left hungry. We walked around a little because the locals call Hope the (wood) Carving Capital of Canada. We only found three. There's a nice cafe called Blue Moose. We got some coffee, and I got a good muffin. We met Luke who showed us the way to a cool tunnel. We would have gone, but we weren't dressed for it, and we didn't have a flashlight.

We left Hope and headed to Princeton. Princeton consists on three blocks. It's population is less than 3000. I stopped in a place called the Loonie Bin (dollar store) and met Dawn and Sam. I chatted with them for a little while about Princeton. After that, we headed back home to Westbank. We stopped at Dairy Queen because I was hungry. After all, a muffin can only hold you for so long.

So, a much better day!

There will be more soon!

Love,
Jennifer

...?

2008-06-17T17:49:00.000-04:00

Today, I feel like I failed.

We were supposed to do some local servant evangelism. That's the easiest form of evangelism. There's something you're doing for people, so you have an automatic ice-breaker. Right? Not today. Not for me.

I suddenly felt under severe attack from the Enemy when we got home. I'm struggling all of a sudden with my sense of purpose. Why? Well, we were given some money to go out into Westbank and Kelowna to do random acts of kindness. It's one of my favorite things to do. Well, we were given ideas, and sent on our way. We had some lunch at A&W (which was gross and way overpriced). Then, we literally drove around Weskbank twice trying to figure out what to do. I was begging God to impress upon me something to do. We were thinking we could stand by the shopping cart stand to hand out Loonies ($1 coins) because at most Canadian shopping places, to get a cart, you have to insert a Loonie (you get it back when you take the cart back). Well, there were no people really shopping at lunch time. So, after more driving around, we decided to head into Kelowna to The Great Canadian Superstore (similar to Sam's). On the way there, I felt a pull to go to City Park. I missed the turn, of course, and almost hit someone... of course, again. I felt a little flustered as I pulled into the parking space. I paid for parking, and we started walking in the park. I was hoping for something. I prayed for something. I ended up praying over a playground and begging God again for some guidance.

I didn't feel anything. If I was alone, I would have sat in the beach and prayed more. As we made our way back to the van, I was preparing to head further into Kelowna to the Superstore. Well, I turned onto the main road. I thought I turned the wrong way, so I turned around to find myself back on the bridge headed to Westbank. I was discouraged because the point I turned around didn't lend itself to another turn around. Plus, I didn't want to annoy my passenger with my newly developed insane driving skills. I tried to discern whether or not to give up and head home or head back into Westbank. As the turn for our apartment came, I went straight into town. I decided to go to the grocery store and resolved to hand out loonies for a little while.

We got out, and after a very short while, we realized that people did not want our loonies. I was really frustrated by then, and I decided to drive thru Timmy's (Tim Horton's), get a coffee, and pay for the person behind me. As we were pulling in, we figured it would be our luck that no one would pull in behind us. Thankfully, someone did. It was a van with a nice looking family in it. I just knew that I'd help them by paying for their family dinner. Yeah. Wrong again. They ordered one coffee. $1.53. I still paid for it. The lady who took the money seemed impressed and told the person helping her. "Would you look at that," she said as I drove off. I almost hit someone else in the parking lot, by the way. I'm not used to driving such a big vehicle.

Feeling thoroughly defeated, we headed home. Here I am now. Wrestling with myself and my Enemy. I know what he's doing, and he's doing a great job at it. He sucker punched me in exactly the right spot.

Please... I don't know... pray for me.

--JC

From far and wide, O Canada!

2008-06-16T17:30:00.000-04:00

Hi, Everyone!

Sorry for the delay in updates; I've been slightly busy. My days can be long, and by the time I sit down to write an update, I am exhausted.

We've done a good bit of exploring and exploration. No, I haven't gone mad-- they're two different things. Exploring is just going around looking at what Kelowna and Westbank have to offer. There's an amazing cafe called Tim Horton's. It's Canadian, eh. Their coffee is sooo good. I mean it's better/ smoother than Cracker Barrel! Yum. I'm bringing some home, so watch out!

I've also noticed a lot of subtle differences in cultures. For instance, gas is priced ¢ per litre. When I first saw 140.9, I was a little taken aback. :-) Spelling of some things is different-- colour, travelling, ect.

Anyhoo-- Exploration is getting to know the places and people we are "explorationing". We go around the town and talk to people. It's seriously that easy. The purpose is to find things out about the people and the town that there is no other way to get the information. There's also the hope of finding people of peace who have the God given desire to start a Bible study or church in a place that desperately needs it. We prayer walk to pray over the towns. Prayer walking is an new experience for me, and it's amazing.

We took an exploration trip to a small town called Vernon. It's such a pretty place. It's on Kalamalka Lake-- a smaller neighboring lake to the Okanagan Lake. It's gorgeous. It's glacier fed, and when the sun hits it, it's an amazing green. Not gross and slimy, but a God-said-be-green green. That was Wednesday. On Sunday, we took a trip to Kamloops. It's cute little town about two hours away. We attended The Bridge church-- a sister church to The Potter's House.

Tomorrow, Todd and I will be doing some local evangelism. Evangelism here looks a lot different than it does at home. I'll let you know how it goes.

Please keep praying for Canada, the Maddens, the Nortons, Todd, the Potter's House (church and members), and of course me!

Here are some pictures: (click on the pic to see it BIG)

Me at Lake Kalamalka!

Lake Kalamalka

More Lake Kal. It's so beautiful!

This is Westbank from the top of a mountain.

Dodgeball on the trampoline.

(L to R): Danica, Bryana, Taylor, Noah, Shayna, and Todd

coming soon...

2008-06-14T16:32:00.000-04:00

I promise I will update soon!

love,
Jennifer

Changes and Transition

2008-06-08T00:31:00.000-04:00

Some things transpired over the past couple of days. I don't want to go to into any details, but if you want to know, e-mail me. Cherie was sent home. She's OK physically; just pray for her.

Todd is still coming on Monday, though. We can't wait for his arrival! Please pray for traveling mercies for him.

Please pray for me. I think the enemy is trying to attack me physically by giving me a lovely rash. I've tried a lot of things for about two weeks, and I'm trying something new tonight. If it doesn't work, Alicia is taking me to a clinic in town to see what's up. It doesn't hurt, but one of the treatments I tried dried it out, and it itches sometimes. Thankfully, that's the worst of it. It's red, blotchy, and just plain annoying to look at.

Remember to keep the Potter's House and the Maddens in your prayers!

Tomorrow, I get to go to the Potter's House for the first time!! I am so excited. After church, we're having a barbecue (I still laugh at this because at orientation, we were told that everywhere except the South, barbecue is something you do not eat.) for a couple in the church who are moving so they can go to seminary.

Today I helped out with the Maddens' community garage sale. They're just as big here as they are at home! I thought it was so cool how some things are so similar. I had a chance to meet lots of Canadians today. Their little community is so nice, and all the people I met were so nice as well.

Canadians really are amazing people.

I miss you all. God has blessed me with this place to make it feel like home, so I am thankfully not homesick. I mean, I wouldn't mind seeing everyone, but I don't feel sad for being so far away.

Thank you for your continual thoughts and prayers. I want you to know that words cannot describe how much I need and truly appreciate them. As God continues to reveal His awesome plan in my life, please pray that I continue to easily go along with it. He is the God who created my view, and so He created me to mean so much more to Him. I cannot fathom how little old me (and you!) means more to Him that those majestic mountains and lake I see everyday. I do. To Him, I am beautiful no matter what the world says. I want you to know that you are the most beautiful creation to Him. No matter what the world says is beautiful, they are wrong because God says you are beautiful and worth loving. I love you.

Continue talking to God. Ask Him for guidance.

Love,
Jennifer

Oh, Canada!

2008-06-06T00:26:00.000-04:00

Canada's amazing. It's breath-taking, and I could not have asked God to send me to a more beautiful place. Here are some things I wrote in my journal when I first got here:

I cannot imagine anyone hating living where there is a view of these mountains. The view from our apartment is amazing. This is a dream come true!

God has abundantly blessed me. I have two new families, and I haven't even been here that long. My supervising family, The Maddens, is amazing. Love and kindness radiate from that family like they eat and drink it. It is awesome to feel so loved so much already.

When we arrived at our host home, we were bombarded in the best way. Everyone was so excited to meet us. All six of them! I can tell they're all bundles of energy. They're all so welcoming and interested. I can't wait to get to know them; it's going to be fun!

Here's a run-down of what I've done so far:
Wednesday-- Alicia and Kevin took Cherie and me to lunch at a local seafood place. I had fish and chips, and it was SO good! The breading was way better than that crap they put on it in the States. :-)

It was there that I got to know Kevin, Alicia, and Canada a little better. I found that God was speaking to me directly through my supervisors. He was letting me know something scary and exciting all at the same time. He was letting me know that I'm home. My six weeks here are going to be hard and challenging, but I'll be home. I also got the feeling that I'll be back. I don't know where exactly or in what capacity, but I think Canada won't have seen the last of me come July 19th.

After that realization, Alicia took Cherie and I to Starbucks and then to Wal-Mart. Haha... how American, right? Wrong. Kelowna has one Wal-Mart. It's not a Super Center, and it's not open 24 hours. Westbank, a 'burb of Kelowna, has a Super Wal-Mart opening in September. Anyway, this Wal-Mart was small and clean and your eyes did not burn out from the florescent lights. It's a great place to get souvenirs. :-)

The express lanes were smart. There were 8 of them. People cued up outside the lanes, and there was a computer that told the next person where to go. It was a true express lane.

Then, Alicia took us to City Park. It's a beautiful park. I was so struck by it that I forgot to take pictures, but I'll take some the next time we go. We walked around for a while and talked; it was nice.

Later that evening, Alicia came to pick up Cherie, Cynthia (Host home mom), and I for a Bible/ book study. They're studying Captivating. I met about 20 women from the church. They're fantastic women. The love for God these women have is so authentic. I can't wait for next Wednesday! Oh! Erica, the place we go for this study is at the top of a mountain where I can capture the entire city just like you wanted!

Today: Cherie and I helped Alicia and Kevin paint. They're moving to Edmonton at the end of the summer, and we're helping them get the house ready to sell. Then, she brought us home and we rested for a short while as Randy (host home dad) tried to fix our deadbolt. We had to get a new one. :-) We had dinner with the Nortons, and that was great fun. I got to interact with the kids. There are four of them-- Danica and Bryana (twins, 14), Shayna (11), and Jacob (9). After dinner, Randy took Cherie, the twins, and I to their youth gathering. We picked up Noah (The Madden's middle child. He's 14 and their only biological son. There's Michael, who is 18 and Taylor, who is 6.) on the way there. Their youth is a lot of fun and very passionate about the church. It was great to see that in those kids.

All in all, I love it here. I love the people and their accents. I am learning so much from them. It's customary to take off your shoes before you enter the house. I remember that whenever I go to the Maddens' or upstairs, but I sometimes forget in my own apartment! I usually remember about five minutes afterward. I have to remember that they use the Metric system up here. They actually dabble (as Randy put it) in American, but it's mainly Metric. For the most part, Canadians are a lot more friendly than even most Southerners. Pedestrians are actually given the right of way. Go figure, eh?

Here are some pictures. I promise I'll post more as I take them. I love you so much for reading this and supporting me. Here's some fair warning: I might sound a little Canadian when I come back, and I will drink hot tea a lot more.

Love,
Jennifer

I'm here!

2008-06-03T23:17:00.000-04:00

Hi, Everyone!

Cherie and I have arrived safely in Kelowna. Todd will be coming on Monday.

Everything went well. We flew to Toronto from Atlanta then from Toronto to Calgary and from Calgary to Kelowna. When I say everything went well, I mean, it went so well that it freaked me out. I was expecting to have to go through Immigration and be questioned, but we didn't have to! It was so easy. Isn't God great?

I'll update more later. I'm tired. It's 11:15pm there, but it's only 8:15pm here. Yawn! Hope everyone is doing well!

Love,
Jennifer

One Week!

2008-05-27T14:35:00.000-04:00

I am so excited!!

I wanted to thank everyone who came out to my party on Saturday. I appreciate your support more than you know. I also want to thank those who could not come. I know your lives are busy, but you still support me.

I received my packing list from my supervisor. Woo- hoo! I think that's what is making this so real and so exciting. I went to Target today with Laura May, and we did a little shopping.

Todd, Cherie, and I will be staying in the basement apartment of a family who attends The Potter's House. They have four kids! We'll have the privilege of getting to know them as well as our supervising family. We have plans to work with the church, travel (!!), go on camping trips, help with a ladies' retreat, and so much more! I also found out that my reading needs will be well taken care of. :-)

Please keep praying! Cherie and I leave on June 3rd at 925 am! Todd leaves on June 9th at 610am!

Love,
Jennifer

New Travel Itenerary!

2008-05-20T12:07:00.000-04:00

Here's my new air travel info!

June 3

ATLANTA GA TORONTO ON 925A 1140A
TORONTO ON CALGARY AB 200P 415P
CALGARY AB KELOWNA BC 450P 450P
(They're the same because it's a short flight and we're switching time zones. Weird, I know.)

July 19
KELOWNA BC VANCOUVER BC 600A 700A
VANCOUVER BC TORONTO ON 800A 327P
TORONTO ON ATLANTA GA 605P 820P

Small Update!

2008-05-17T21:52:00.000-04:00

Woo! I am so excited about this trip. I believe if I were nervous as I am excited, I'd be sick all day. :-)

I found out from my new supervisors that I'll be staying in Westbank, BC, Canada. It's a suburb of Kelowna, BC. I've done some looking around, and it's absolutely gorgeous!
http://www.tourismkelowna.com/
http://www.kelowna.ca/cm/site3.aspx

I'll be finding out my air travel itinerary soon.

I can't wait to see what God has planned for me. I've been growing closer and closer to Him, and it's amazing. I came to an awesome place two nights ago. I realized in my heart of hearts that He really is all that I need and all that I want. He's a brother, friend, father, and lover of my heart and soul. What more could a girl need?

I came to this realization after small bout with the heeby-jeebies. I was frantically searching the Bible for help, and I turned to my favorite passages-- Matthew 11:28-30; 25:31-46. Knowing these words were spoken by my Savior calmed my soul, and I was able to pour out my heart and let it all go (finally). The night ended with me sitting alone grinning like a girl in love. Wait, I am a girl in love. I knew if someone saw me sitting there, they'd know that someone special is tugging at my heart. They would be right.

I feel more prepared than ever to go. Perhaps that's why I am so excited. There were ups and downs before and plans were changed. The only thing I could do was give it all to God and trust that He'll take care of me.

Please know that I am leaving home feeling at ease. I am not scared or worried. I pray that you won't be worried about me. Rather, I want you to rejoice with me as I embark on this amazing adventure.

Please keep praying for me, my fellow missionaries, my new supervisors (Alicia and Kevin), and the people of the Okanagan Valley.

I love you!
Jennifer

Canada Bound!

2008-05-13T17:43:00.001-04:00

Thanks for reading!

I will be in Canada this summer on a mission trip. This is all thanks to donations from churches, parents, and students. The Georgia Baptist Convention is sending over 200 collegiate missionaries all over the world (at NO cost to the students). There are people going to places as close as Tifton and Clayton, Georgia and as far away as Thailand and Ghana. The trips range in length from 8 days to 10 weeks.

I was originally scheduled to go to the Yukon Territory, but there were some complications. My team is currently being relocated. We'll possibly be in central British Columbia in a region called the Okanagan Valley. It's still Canada, and I am SO excited for this opportunity.

The two missionaries going with me are Todd from UGA and Cherie from Reinhardt.

My original trip was scheduled for June 3- July 19. Quite possibly, the new trip will be the same. I'll keep you posted!

Your prayers are needed and appreciated!

Love,
Jennifer

::greater things::

Taking a Break

Living on Mission

About You

9 things I'd do if I had $1,000,000

Sweet dreams?

A prayer request and some links

Not a coincidence

ABCDEFGH- INFP

2010 in review

Crunchy numbers

Where did they come from?

Attractions in 2010

What Working for a Divorce Attorney has Taught Me

30 before 30

One word (w/ Addendum)

ex·cru·ci·at·ing/ikˈskro͞oSHēˌātiNG/Adjective

Under the Overpass by Mike Yankoski

Here's to 26 (and a lot) more!

Inspiration

Why I'm a Georgia Tech fan

Spotlight: Jasmere.com

For the Love of Coffee

Bonhoeffer: A Review

Ignoring Intuition

Things I Learned from the Braves

The List (edited)

What would you give up?

May 22-31

I'm Moving!

Please vote!

redeemed

Fill in the Blanks

Learning

Truckers, Mail Carriers, and Blessings

Worth

Day 1 w/o Facebook

This Just In!

Interview with the author

God is bigger

No Title

H O M E

Almost The End

Travel!

Speaking Out

A Mixed Bag

Travels and Prayer

Paging: Jennifer Chapman

Untitled

Honestly

Updates!!

A Team, A Waterfall, and An Alpine Slide

Conversations, Music, and SUN!

Stairs, BBQ, and Berlin

Small Update

Call to Worship: A Backstory of Jennifer Chapman

The Chronicles of Friday V: Night Watch

The Chronicles of Friday IV: Conversations

The God of THIS City: Dresden

Auf Englisch, bitte.

The Chronicles Continue: Logorrhea

The Chronicles of Friday II: Flashback

The Chronicles of Friday

Mir ist kalt!!

Catch up and Some Pictures

Paris!!

Tiny Update

If I Don't Go, Who Will?

for real

A Confession

An attempt

Celebrating, what 22? 3? Ah, 4... 24 years of life.

What is it about Sundays?

A song of PRAISE!

The Joy of People

Thankful

Lift Me High

Relationship adivce (haha) and some tangents

Tiny Steps

Nothing too small... or too silly.